As the child of a marriage that was all give on one side and all take on the other, I seesawed through my youth, first thinking that my efforts in friendship were paramount (without looking for a return), and then swinging* to a wary, transactional mode for a short time. That latter time coincided with the end of law school and my parents' divorce, so I suppose it is to be expected.

I finally came to rest (more or less) at the point where I am now. I extend the effort I would like to extend because I like the person. If I find that that person has ceased to extend any effort of their own, I allow what is left of the friendship to drift and sink.


*Yeah. Mixed metaphors and all that. ::sigh::