mrissa: (themselves)
mrissa ([personal profile] mrissa) wrote2010-07-19 01:38 pm

In which we are concerned with cephalopod logistics though it is no longer hockey season.

[livejournal.com profile] mrissa: And then [livejournal.com profile] markgritter was listing the places Vernor Vinge could have gone to see a live lobster. He went on at quite some length. Like, Byerly's, Red Lobster, the aquarium. Boston Gardens.
[livejournal.com profile] timprov: Um.
M: Okay, he didn't quite get so far as Boston Gardens.
T: Good. It's not like octopuses and Detroit.
M: I am concerned--I am suddenly quite concerned about the octopuses and Detroit.*
T: Like how at any moment--
M: Yes.
T: At any moment some guy there in Detroit has an octopus in his pants and you don't know it.
M: Yes. This concerns me greatly. Please tell me that Ziploc is involved.
T: I'm thinking no.
M: Or that nice friendly people such as the Detroit equivalent of United Noodle have sold the Red Wings fans some lovely dried octopus for their flinging needs?
T: Clearly not.
M: Oh, oh, oh, I am concerned. So in a regular plastic bag like a Target bag, just a whole dead octopus.
T: Possibly. If it was me I would use a thermos.
M: This is heartening.
T: But thermoses are not allowed in the arenas.
M: Not heartening!
T: But it's not like things that are not allowed in arenas never get in arenas.
M: And something like a smuggle-in beer belly contraption would be difficult to get the octopus out of--and although I hear octopuses are good at wriggling in and out of confined spaces, I expect that's mostly the live ones.
T: Never underestimate the power of the undead octopus.
M: No, I am concerned.
T: I think they have official Red Wings jackets with special pockets for the octopuses.
M, heartened: Do you? Like duck hunting jackets? Oh, I am relieved.
[pause]
M: Wait! I am not relieved! Oh why was I relieved?
T, laughing: If they don't, it's a marketing opportunity waiting to happen.
M: Now I really have to ask the internet how this works. And fear that it will answer me.

*Detroit Red Wings fans have been known to fling dead octopuses upon the ice. No, I cannot explain this to you. I am not a Detroit Red Wings fan.

[identity profile] mrissa.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 06:51 pm (UTC)(link)
...

.....

If anybody I didn't know ever, ever, ever made me witness his buddy ripping duct tape off his abdomen in order to get a plastic wrapped dead octopus off of there in order that he could fling it past me at the ice, there would be no roundness of o Minnesotan enough to cover the amount of sorry he would feel the need to say to me.

But I'm glad you love your team.
ext_26933: (detroit red wings)

[identity profile] apis-mellifera.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I believe the extraction of the octopus has to be clandestine, since there are rules prohibiting the presence of octopus. Wikipedia tells me that in one game 15 years ago, 36 cephalopods splatted on the ice. Including one weighing 38 pounds.

The NHL has specifically banned octopus-twirling, which is a travesty.

[identity profile] kalmn.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)
i love your team too but i am very glad it is two states over.
ext_26933: (detroit red wings)

[identity profile] apis-mellifera.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 08:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I currently live in Delaware, so. (Left Michigan 10 years ago, couldn't pay me enough to move back. Still love my team.)
moiread: (facepalm • cate b.)

[personal profile] moiread 2010-07-19 07:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I could really have gone the rest of my life without knowing this.

[identity profile] kizmet-42.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Are you allowed to twirl squid?