When that one doesn't get through to me, the big guns for me are my godson. "If Rob was grown-up and all upset with himself over something like this, how would it make me feel?"

Because, y'know. I can imagine Rob being upset with himself over things his godmother thought were worth being upset with oneself over; I don't believe that the child is now or ever will be perfect. So I know this kind of self-check doesn't result in lack of standards. It just results in standards for kindness.