And also, get off my lawn.

[mrissa]

I just picked up the library's copy of Sarah Dessen's This Lullaby. On page 12 is the line, "He turned it [the narrator's hand] palm up before I could even react, and pulled a pen out of his back pocket, then proceeded--I am not joking--to write a name and phone number in the space between my thumb and forefinger."

And in the margin, a very teenybopper hand has written in black ballpoint ink, "Why doesn't that happen in real life?"

1. Princess, this? IS NOT YOUR BOOK. It is the library's book. Nobody cares where you swooned.

2. You know why it doesn't happen in real life, sugar? Because you live in Minnesota, and even at your presumed age, even many of the most clueless males already know that if they go around grabbing body parts of women they have just met, they will a) happen upon one like me who will make sure they do not get back the pen or the hand they grabbed with or b) happen upon one who has a broad-shouldered relative happy to provide the same service at a moment's notice. There are lots of broad-shouldered relatives in these parts. Both sexes, or did you think the fella was kidding?

Seriously. This is my body. That out there is your body. If you get confused, I will be happy to give you a reminder that the bit that hurts is the bit that's you.

I am so glad my teenaged friends have more sense.

Comments

[sethb.livejournal.com]

If the guy is clueful enough to know that such an act would be welcomed, then there's nothing wrong with it. (Well, there theoretically might be a guy who's that clueful.)*

But the correct answer is, "It does, just not to dumbshits who write in library books."

[*] If he wants to do it, and she wants him to do it, then the rest of us can just butt out.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

The interaction in this book is literally a girl he has really, really just met: it would take magical psychical powers to be able to tell that quickly. They have spent thirty seconds in each other's company, and she has complained that he shoved her into a wall, and that's it. "Don't push me, asshole." "Here's my phone number!" No. Just no.

[sethb.livejournal.com]

From my point of view, the difference between "good understanding of how women feel" and "magical psychical powers" isn't all that great.

But yes, with those I know the second part of the interaction (first part: he pushes her into wall) is more likely to involve her dropping the wall on him.

[redbird]

From my point of view, this is what words are for. Words like "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you" or, if that's too difficult "would you like my phone number?"

I don't claim a "good understanding of how women [or men] feel." I have a good understanding of how some people feel (not limited to, or following from, a specific gender), and a respect for other people's personal space.

Also for other people's, and the library's, books.

[marydell.livejournal.com]

Is his name Edward Cullen, perchance?

[marydell.livejournal.com]

I'm looking at my hand trying to figure out what the narrator means by "in the space between my thumb and forefinger." The airspace between the tips of the thumb and forefinger? On the palm in a line from the base of the thumb to the base of the forefinger? If so, why isn't she relaxing her thumb and blocking him? Or jerking her hand away while he digs in his back pocket, and smacking him upside the head with it?

[mastadge.livejournal.com]

That had me scratching my head too. Maybe she's freakishly webbed?

[callunav.livejournal.com]

Because it's ROMANTIC.

Dint you know?

[marydell.livejournal.com]

If he already had the pen handy, maybe, but pausing to dig the pen out of his pocket in order to write on her hand webbing seems less smooth.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

Being a romantic hero is never having to stop to dig out a pen. Or go to the bathroom, get a zit right on the point of your nose when you wanted to ask a girl out or be at a loss to know whether the object of your affections minds being written on.


Though I do well remember that feeling of "why doesn't this ever happen to meeeee?" The only difference is that I didn't write on library books.... and it was as likely to happen while reading an adventure or magic book as a romance.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

These days, sometimes being a romantic hero is having to stop to dig out a pen or go to the bathroom or not know what a girl wants...but only in a totally cute and charming way!!!11!!1!

Blarg.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

He didn't have the pen out already. But she is doing her best Princess Vespa routine: "Nobody talks to me that way...nobody...NOBODY!"...while not actually asserting any personal space or enforcing any standards.

[marydell.livejournal.com]

"Stop! Or I shall say stop again!"

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Seriously. The palm of the hand is...squishy...and that part of it moreso than the rest. He must have a very short name, and no area code? Also, the second she goes to use that hand for anything: Smear City. Notes on the limbs are best put on the forearm, in my experience. On the back of the hand, if you must. But never ever ever on the palm.

[ksumnersmith.livejournal.com]

Eh, tell me about it. That book and I had issues, of which that was one example. That book went back to the library half read.

I mean, really.

[writingortyping.livejournal.com]

Yanno, this is exactly the problem I always had with that Marc Cohn song, "True Companion." For crying out loud, the whole scene starts,

"Sometimes I'm an angel
And sometimes I'm cruel
And when it comes to love
I'm just another fool
Yes, I'll climb a mountain
I'm gonna swim the sea
There ain't no act of god girl
Could keep you safe from me"

Excusemeverymuch?

Then the rest of the song is about what he's going to do to "for" her. CREEPY. And people thought this was romantic? I found it nauseating.

[rosefox]

Oooh, I always forget to add that to the list of "you think this is romantic?" songs, along with "Baby It's Cold Outside", "More than Words", and the all-time favorite creepy stalker song, "Every Breath You Take".

[marydell.livejournal.com]

I remember seeing a Sting interview where he talked about how sick it is that couples will say "Every Breath You Take" is "their song."

I hadn't though about it, but "Baby It's Cold Outside" is pretty bad!

[rosefox]

Stipulated: All second-person songs are creepy.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

True, you really don't like the second person.

[rosefox]

*twitch*

[timprov.livejournal.com]

I never looked at "You put your right hand in, and you shake it all about" quite that way before.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Well, really, it is awfully presumptuous of the songwriter to tell me what I do.

[talimena.livejournal.com]

Amen. I've had to point out to a classmate that it is not at all cool to come and stand one inch behind me. He was surprised!

[talimena.livejournal.com]

ETA: different from the hand grabbing, I realize, but reminiscent thereof.

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

"This is my body. That out there is your body. If you get confused, I will be happy to give you a reminder that the bit that hurts is the bit that's you."

Yes. Very much yes.

And a small amount of pain for writing in the LIBRARY BOOK for that teenybopper. Grrrrr.