And also, get off my lawn.

[mrissa]

I just picked up the library's copy of Sarah Dessen's This Lullaby. On page 12 is the line, "He turned it [the narrator's hand] palm up before I could even react, and pulled a pen out of his back pocket, then proceeded--I am not joking--to write a name and phone number in the space between my thumb and forefinger."

And in the margin, a very teenybopper hand has written in black ballpoint ink, "Why doesn't that happen in real life?"

1. Princess, this? IS NOT YOUR BOOK. It is the library's book. Nobody cares where you swooned.

2. You know why it doesn't happen in real life, sugar? Because you live in Minnesota, and even at your presumed age, even many of the most clueless males already know that if they go around grabbing body parts of women they have just met, they will a) happen upon one like me who will make sure they do not get back the pen or the hand they grabbed with or b) happen upon one who has a broad-shouldered relative happy to provide the same service at a moment's notice. There are lots of broad-shouldered relatives in these parts. Both sexes, or did you think the fella was kidding?

Seriously. This is my body. That out there is your body. If you get confused, I will be happy to give you a reminder that the bit that hurts is the bit that's you.

I am so glad my teenaged friends have more sense.

Comments

[marydell.livejournal.com]

If he already had the pen handy, maybe, but pausing to dig the pen out of his pocket in order to write on her hand webbing seems less smooth.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

Being a romantic hero is never having to stop to dig out a pen. Or go to the bathroom, get a zit right on the point of your nose when you wanted to ask a girl out or be at a loss to know whether the object of your affections minds being written on.


Though I do well remember that feeling of "why doesn't this ever happen to meeeee?" The only difference is that I didn't write on library books.... and it was as likely to happen while reading an adventure or magic book as a romance.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

These days, sometimes being a romantic hero is having to stop to dig out a pen or go to the bathroom or not know what a girl wants...but only in a totally cute and charming way!!!11!!1!

Blarg.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

He didn't have the pen out already. But she is doing her best Princess Vespa routine: "Nobody talks to me that way...nobody...NOBODY!"...while not actually asserting any personal space or enforcing any standards.

[marydell.livejournal.com]

"Stop! Or I shall say stop again!"