2025 52 Card Project: Week 45: Pain

Nov. 15th, 2025 12:33 pm
pegkerr: (Default)
[personal profile] pegkerr
About three or four months ago, I started feeling a vague pain deep in my right hip. Not a muscle problem, not an arthritis bone-on-bone feeling. It just...hurt.

I kept trying to exercise, but it kept getting more difficult. I vaguely thought, "I should see someone about this." I had my usual yearly appointment set with my doctor for several months away, so I waited.

I probably waited too long.

I have been walking around Lake Nokomis regularly but by the time the appointment came up, I had been reduced from walking all the way around to managing only about one-third of the way around, limping.

Then I realized I was starting to feel pain in my knee. And my lower back.

And then I realized it hurt just lying in bed.

My doctor sent me to an orthopedic specialist and I met with her this past week. The diagnosis: Gluteal tendinopathy, along with some mild osteoarthritis in the right hip and tranchaneric bursitis in both hips. What a mouthful.

Action plan: start physical therapy, and if that doesn’t help, will consider cortisone shots.

image description: a view of a pelvis portion of a skeleton with a muscular overstructure on one side. Lower left: close-up of one side of the hip, showing the IT band. Right: picture of a woman sitting on the ground, with legs pulled up close and forearms covering her face. Lower center: a cane.

Pain

45 Pain

Click on the links to see the 2025, 2024, 2023, 2022 and 2021 52 Card Project galleries.

A few cool things

Nov. 15th, 2025 04:27 pm
oursin: Brush the Wandering Hedgehog by the fire (Default)
[personal profile] oursin
The Spanish government has granted citizenship to 170 descendants of volunteers in the International Brigades in recognition of their fight against fascism.

Go them!
The daughter of a Manchester man who volunteered to fight in the Spanish Civil War has reflected on his "incredible feat of solidarity" as her family is set to become Spanish citizens.

***

‘We don’t even know all of what we have.’ Howard fights to preserve Black newspapers.

“We don’t even know all of what we have,” Mr. Nightingale marvels.
The basement is a trove of artifacts, including old editions of Black-owned newspapers that tell the life of Black Americans during the 19th and 20th centuries. Articles cover slavery, lynchings, Jim Crow, and the Civil Rights era. The archive project, which is part of the university’s Moorland-Spingarn Research Center, is bringing to life the faces of yesterday by merging them with the digital world of today. This way, the hope is, they won’t be lost ever again.

***

Disentangling obscured women: One Artist – ‘Mary Katherine Constance Lloyd’ – Dismembered To Create Two: or The Importance Of Biography:

Googling ‘Mary Katherine Constance Lloyd’ led me to the ArtUK page for ‘Mary Katharine [sic] Constance Lloyd’, which included birth and death dates and a short biography[i]. It was then only the work of a moment to discover on Ancestry that the woman with the given dates was not a Mary Katherine Constance Lloyd but a Katharine Constance Lloyd. How peculiar, I thought, and looked again at the ArtUK page. It then seemed obvious that the paintings displayed were unlikely to all be by the same hand. Four, including the one described by Birrell in the chapter on ‘Mary’, might be classed as ‘impressionist’, while the others were formal portraits of worthy 20th-century gentlemen, attired in various robes of office.
A little more online research established that there was, indeed, another artist with a similar name, Mary Constance Lloyd, and that a succession of art reference works had carelessly blended their two lives together – to create ’Mary Katharine Constance Lloyd’. I suppose it is a measure of how little importance is attached to the lives of such women artists that in 50 years no author had bothered to research either subject ab initio – but, when compiling a new biographical dictionary or making a footnote reference, had merely copied the – incorrect – information.

Don't think I shall be rushing to read that book on women artists and still life cited in the opening of the post!

***

We are always up for some toad-related phenomena around here: Newly identified species of Tanzanian tree toad leapfrog the tadpole stage and give birth to toadlets. How about that.

(no subject)

Nov. 15th, 2025 10:48 am
skygiants: Anthy from Revolutionary Girl Utena holding a red rose (i'm the witch)
[personal profile] skygiants
I am extremely belated in actually posting about Taiwan Travelogue -- I know that I read it before June, because in June was when I was talking about it with [personal profile] recognito and he said 'oh I think it's an Utena riff' and I was like ?? ?!?! !!!! aj;dlkfjs;l of course it's an Utena riff. ([personal profile] recognito's post about it here.)

Which is of course a very unfair way to begin this post because it's many other things besides an Utena riff- primarily of course a story about colonization and power relations, as told through gender and appetite. Taiwan Travelogue is a book that presents itself as a translation from the Japanese into Taiwanese -- which I of course then read translated into English, another layering into the text -- of a Japanese writer's journal of her time in Taiwan, 1938-9. She's there to promote her book, not to promote the project of Japanese Imperial Expansion, of which she certainly does not really approve! and which she is not going to propagandize, except in the ways that she can't help but propagandize it! and she wants to experience the real Taiwan, most notably Real Taiwanese Food. Aoyama's major passion in life is eating, she is a tall young woman with a huge appetite, and the tour guide experiences that have been prepared for her are not sufficient to her desires.

Enter Ong: Aoyama's new entry point into Taiwan, a quiet young woman from a mysterious background who, unlike her other assigned translator, is willing to not only take Aoyama off the beaten path to Unapproved Culinary Experiences but also to provide additional culinary experiences at home in her lodgings. Whatever Aoyama hears about, she wants to eat. One way or another, Ong makes it happen. Ong, it turns out, is the only person Aoyama's ever met who can eat as much as Aoyama can; Aoyama feels a deep connection to her, is desperate for some sense of genuine reciprocal emotion, but no matter what she tries, moving from their employer/employee dynamic into something genuine seems impossible. From Aoyama's point of view, she's always reaching out, and Ong is always slipping away, putting up a barrier. As Ong sees it -- well, whatever she's trying to tell Aoyama, Aoyama does not understand.

The metaphor of colonialism as played out through the inherent power imbalances of a failed romance is not a new theme and plays out more or less as expected here, though it's relevant that this is a book about A Lesbian: one of the things that the text wants to explore I think is how being, in your own mind, in the position of an underdog and an outsider makes it harder for you to see the ways and situations in which you are neither of those things. But really what I found most striking about the book is not the central relationship at all, but the food. The book has a lot of dishes in it, and every dish has a context and a history: the ingredients come from somewhere, the way it's made has a certain history to it, the way it's made in one location differs from the way it's made in a different location, and Ong always takes care to explain why. The portrait of the impact that colonization by Japan has had on Taiwan is largely drawn through detailed descriptions of changing recipes. The book made me very aware of how hungry I am for material culture in my fiction! ... and also it just made me normal hungry.

I'm not on my own

Nov. 15th, 2025 06:45 am
sovay: (Rotwang)
[personal profile] sovay
I rarely see movies like Mark Jenkin's Enys Men (2022). More often I dream them.

A sort of double hat trick for its writer-director-cinematographer-editor-composer, it could as easily be described as the ecology of a haunting. In post-synched 16 mm as brilliantly saturated and scratchy as home movies, the woman whom even the credits identify only as the Volunteer (Mary Woodvine) moves through the ritual of her days on a small island off the westernmost coast of Cornwall where she seems to have been stationed as the observer of a clump of rare flowers, nodding their stiff white petals and bright red pistils at the edge of the sea-cliff whose soil temperature she meticulously records in her logbook along with the date and the customary observation No change. Each time she climbs the loose-bedded step-stones to the cold chimney of the abandoned tin mine, she drops a stone down the drowning black of the shaft just to hear the distant, ricocheting splash. Each time she returns to her slate-shingled, ivy-striped cottage, she fires up the petrol rale of the generator and makes herself a cup of tea while the lucky dip of her cream-colored Dansette breathes through static as if through storm. If the near-total isolation troubles her, she doesn't show it, an elfin figure in her middle fifties with a barely silvered shag of brown hair and a wry weather-grained face, characteristically layered in her white seaman's jumper and red rain jacket and jeans as blue as her Atlantic eyes. Roaming the island between duties, she seems as self-sufficient as her candlelit bedtime reading of Edward Goldsmith and Robert Allen's A Blueprint for Survival (1972). Periodically she receives supplies and wall-banging sex—she bakes him saffron buns—from the rugged, just as namelessly credited Boatman (Edward Rowe), but no other presence seems as important as the standing stone she crosses in her daily transit of the island, its angular hunch eclipsing her from view so that she seems to pass through rather than behind it. The woodcut in her cottage depicts it ominously rooted among ribs and skulls, but its silhouette seen from her front door suggests rather a cloaked, skirted figure proceeding at tectonic speed. In her dreams, perhaps, it comes like a guiser to her door. The film lingers with animate richness on such details of the natural world, the yolk-flowered tremble of gorse in the sea-breeze, the swing of a black-blacked gull above the ledges, the lichen everywhere scaling and tufting the old walls and outcrops of the stone of the island's name. It lingers the same on apparently unnatural ones, the ring of bal maidens stamping the earth like the engine-clank of the old workings, the miners whose smutched faces peer out at her from beneath the candle-melted brims of their hats, the ruined church clean and whitewashed, its altar piled with branches of flowering hawthorn. What narrative emerges from the sparsely worded script is done with chimes and discontinuities, refrains and layers as reliable as any residual haunting. Actually, however mystifying, contradictory, folded, spindled or mutilated it may look, it is time in this movie that doesn't lie.

Much more of a tone poem than a puzzle for the viewer, Enys Men inhabits with ambitious directness its nonlinearity that another film might have been tempted to treat more trickily, observing effects before causes and explanations before questions as though there were no more ordinary way to exist in time. On the one hand, some kind of progression can be tracked in the dates of the logbook, the growth of lichen, the wear and tear on a pair of brown walking boots whose brave red laces are part of the film's primary rhyme of colors. On the other, persons attempting to pinpoint the break in its objective hour and a half will be peeved. Time on this island has always—when has it ever done anything else, anywhere—gone strange. As incongruous as her modern, transient figure appears against the immemorial spaces of wind and moor and wave, the Volunteer should be regarded as no less a part of their accumulated fragmentation of personal history with history of place, the history of Cornwall that renders a quizzical joke out of the earnest check-in, "Do you like it here on your own?" She couldn't get a layer of time to herself if she tried with so much of it underfoot in the flaking rust of old rails, a brand name of tinned skimmed milk. Her cottage's history wakes her with the coughing of the burly Miner (Joe Gray) who borrows one of her books to read on the toilet like any careless flatmate before collecting his pick and hammer for a day's work that by his clothes must have gone off shift before the First World War. Its future ghosts in with the teatime broadcast, tinnily exploding any meaningful sense of a present that seemed as factual as her thin strong hand pencilling in 21st April 1973 when the memorial it describes has stood for "nearly fifty years," the harbor-set cenotaph of a loss at sea scheduled for "the 1st of May 1973, near the old miners' quay on the abandoned island of Enys Men." From their rag-white ribbons and stockings, the children who sing daleth an hav with a drum and sprays of newly broken may-blossom are older in the island than the crew of the late nineteenth century lifeboat who grin still dripping with the sea that drowned them, but behind them the cottage is a gape-roofed, ivy-tumbled ruin, as long uninhabited as it might be explored to this day. At its door in her nightdress as when, face to face with the standing stone on her threshold, she juddered like a frame of gate-stuck film, the Volunteer calls, "Who's there?" She has already been answered. The dark-haired, impassively adolescent Girl (Flo Crowe) perches like a cormorant on the cottage's glass-roofed shed, her corduroys white and her cardigan blue so that a viewer may wonder where the red will come in. The Preacher (the late, great John Woodvine) in his clerical black and white bands addresses her with the solemn injunction of a maritime hymn, the Bible under his arm glistening like the mica-misted granite of the menhir at his side. Picking over the jumbled crags of the shore with their verdigris stains and sunbursts of orange sea-lichen yields a bloodied oilskin and a paint-cracked plank, the foretellings of once and future tragedy. "Are you there? Hello? Can you hear me?" Time isn't even looping so much as it's free-associating, cross-linked even more obviously than a VHF transmission we hear from both ends of the airwaves. Now it folds on a single point, the lace-and-thorn christening of the Baby (Loveday Twomlow) whose addition to the company of the Girl and the Volunteer lends a sort of pitch-shifted triple-goddess vibe to the slowly remembered singing of Philip Paul Bliss' "Let the Lower Lights Be Burning" in which the Preacher with his aged rock of a voice leads them. Now it merely reverses, an upward glitter of water in the flooded mine. Above all, it seems to be bending toward the event horizon of May Day, a painful double entendre when the failed rescue of the supply boat Govenek scores the date through from 1897 to 1973, but earth is as powerfully commingled with sea in the changeover as they always have been in the ore-riddled, salt-girt life of Stone Island. Lichen has appeared on one of the flowers, the Volunteer records for the first time in the last days of April, before discovering a grey-green frill of her own in the white scar that twists across her stomach. The lichen has grown on the flower, thickening over the seam of her skin like the coat of the standing stone. Her entries stop like a clock: The lichen has spread to all of the flowers. No change. No change. No change. Its proliferation suggests its own explanation for the haunting, if that's even beginning to sound like the right word for a process as natural as reclamation or grief: a new organism created by the symbiosis of the human and the land. How should it surprise us to see the Volunteer presently step out of the menhir as if leaving the house on her usual rounds? The earth, like the body, keeps the score.

Enys Men was one of the few movies I was able to watch last summer when I had functionally ceased to sleep and was in no state to say anything about it except perhaps to have likened it to the film of a novel never written by Alan Garner or suggested that when Scarristack of Greer Gilman's Cloud gets its film industry up and running, it might produce cinema like Jenkin's. Like a descendant of Powell and Pressburger, it has all the ingredients of folk horror arranged to much more numinous than jump-scaring effect, the enmeshment of memory with the land that does not so much return the repressed as hold it in trust. The sound design is compact with anachronism, both in the sense of cues and voices bleeding back through the picture and the persistent reminder that the AM radio seems to be tuned to the twenty-first century, its local news and football scores cut with Brenda Wootton's "The Bristol Christ" (1980) and Gwenno's "Kan Me" (2022), which is incidentally the credits music. The hand-processed film flares and flickers like an unrestored rediscovery, washing nature and spirit photography alike with neg sparkle and the occasional vinegar-red flameout. Sifting its symbol-set of recurrent images and phrases for a key feels beside the point when so much of the movie exists in multiplicity—even the standing stone has a stunt double, its original being Boswens Menhir—and its makers' resonances may not be mine, but its tactile, liminal landscape is live with them. I thought: We have become stone in the stone. Earth mastered us. I thought: But everywhere in the room, that morning, there was a great mess of little twigs and leaves, hawthorn leaves, and rowan. And everywhere a great smell of the sea. I got it from Kanopy, but in the right region it can be viewed on BFI Player or Blu-Ray/DVD and it streams on all the usual suspects. I may not know enough about lichen to be its ideal audience, but I do care enough about time. This year brought to you by my own backers at Patreon.

pootling through life

Nov. 14th, 2025 10:07 pm
wychwood: Xena in front of a flaming building (XWP - death destroyer of worlds)
[personal profile] wychwood
Annual leave is so nice but now I have to go back to work on Monday :(. On the other hand, I do still have a whole weekend first, even if it's relatively busy. The deacon trainee is being ordained acolyte and lector on Sunday and some of the training people showed up last weekend and Announced that we would be providing more servers than we actually have seats for and also a thurifer, and since I am presently the only thurifer available, I have to go. Truly I am punished for not having arranged the training I was supposed to be organising back in the spring before Mum got sick. Fortunately one of my four Sunday video calls has rescheduled so it's a slightly less ludicrous calendar than might have been the case.

Anyhow. I have done very little; read two turn-of-the-century novels (nineteenth to twentieth, that is), finally caught up with laundry after getting out of cycle while I was with Mum, got through the three Tablet issues I had waiting and started the one that arrived today, did the tragically overdue washing up, and went to the cinema to see The Choral. I enjoyed it! I would say it was a war story more than a choir story, but Gerontius is important to the plot and I did like what they did with it. And, much as I love superhero films, it's nice to see something that isn't one of the endless sequels, remakes, shared universes, etc etc, that make up most cinema these days.

I also progressed my ebook catalogue a bit - went through all my StoryBundle purchases, downloaded anything that wasn't on my phone and therefore in the catalogue already, and added them to the catalogue (along with the source) and the phone. Also added a sheet for audiobooks and put in the ones I've bought from libro.fm since I started my subscription. Next up would be the various Humble Bundles, which is a much larger number of bundles and piles of audiobooks as well as ebooks, so I've put that off until another week...

Um what

Nov. 14th, 2025 01:36 pm
ysobel: (Default)
[personal profile] ysobel posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Miss Manners: What is the polite way to eat large sushi rolls? Sometimes they’re too big to comfortably eat whole without gagging!

Dissect them.

Miss Manners does not usually condone deconstructing food in public, but these are desperate times. Use your chopsticks to pull out the insides and eat them separately. Then either squish the remaining rice and seaweed together and eat it in two bites or use the side of the chopstick to cut it in half.

Perhaps the sight of their beautiful creations being desecrated will inspire the chefs to make more manageable bites. Or at least have them wonder why everyone is suddenly ordering them as takeout instead.
lydamorehouse: (Default)
[personal profile] lydamorehouse
 One really fun thing that I did lately is finally listen to/read The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

This came about because my son has heard me go on and on since I read Frankenstein for the first time earlier this year about how GAY Victor Frankenstein was for his most sincere friend Henry Clevral. Being Mason, he said, "Oh, huh. Have you ever read Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? I recommend it," without, of course, spoiling the fact that it's pretty much common knowledge the Robert Louis Stevenson had based Jekyll and Hyde on his real life gay friends.

If you doubt me, check out the Wikipediea entry's "inspiration and writing" section: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_Case_of_Dr_Jekyll_and_Mr_Hyde#Inspiration_and_writing  Stevenson apparently literally named Jykell after a reverand who was very likely gay and several of his known gay associates, specifically John Addington Symonds. Symonds apparently read Jekyll and Hyde and said (and I paraphrase), "I am in this book and I don't like it."

Anyway, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is short and well worth the read.

Having thoroughly enjoyed that experience, I have been pondering if there are other classics that I've ignored over the years due to the trauma of having been an English major. (When one is forced to read a lot of classic leterature, one grows weary of its ponderousness.)  My friend [personal profile] naomikritzer has talked me into trying out Anne of Green Gables. I'm not sure how well this one will stick because it is in no way genre or genre adjacent like Frankenstein and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  But, we'll see. I found someone on Spotify who did a lovely podcast of Anne of Green Gables with multiple voice actors playing the various roles, so it could generally just be a fun way to experience the book. 

I know it's not Wednesday, but what are you reading? Anything fun? Anything weird? Anything AWFUL?

multiple sclerosis and now lupus

Nov. 14th, 2025 11:26 am
thistleingrey: (Default)
[personal profile] thistleingrey
"Stanford Medicine scientists tie lupus to a virus nearly all of us carry," i.e. Epstein-Barr.

See also the paper in Translational Medicine (paywalled).

More on instant translation

Nov. 14th, 2025 01:40 pm
asakiyume: (yaksa)
[personal profile] asakiyume
Wakanomori shared a PDF of this (probably paywalled) article from the Atlantic, "The Costs of Instant Translation," by Ross Benjamin. This guy expresses so eloquently a lot of what I was reaching for in this post.

extensive quotes )

I'm not a literary translator, but I definitely am drawn by the cultural specificity of languages, the "shimmer of ambiguity," as Benjamin puts it. The creation, together, of meaning when the languages don't line up.

P.S. If the article is indeed paywalled and you'd like to read the whole thing, and if you're willing to share your email, you can message me and I'll email it to you.

P.P.S. Bonus: the part of his SNL monologue where Bad Bunny goes into Spanish

New Worlds: Eunuchs

Nov. 14th, 2025 06:03 pm
swan_tower: (Default)
[personal profile] swan_tower
As you can imagine, this essay will continue with a frank discussion of genitalia and modifications to same.

A eunuch is generally understood to mean a man who has been castrated, i.e. whose testicles have been cut off. Sometimes, though, he has been fully emasculated -- meaning removal of the penis as well; this was usually the case with Chinese eunuchs -- while on other occasions, the term refers to any man who is unable to procreate (e.g. because of impotence or chemical castration), even if he is intact. Unsurprisingly, it can also be slung as an insult against a man, questioning his virility.

We probably got the idea of eunuchs from animal husbandry, where castration of males is common enough that we often have separate terms for the two types: steers vs. bulls, geldings vs. stallions. Among livestock, it brings a number of benefits to their human owners; castrated beasts are less likely to attack people or other males and less likely to break down fences to try and get at females, while the small number of reproductively capable individuals makes it easier to control the population size and arrange for advantageous breeding matches. Neutered animals, female as well as male, also tend to live noticeably longer.

Among humans, the physical effects are similar. The removal of the testicles generally reduces sexual desire and its associated behaviors, while preventing reproduction. If performed before puberty -- as it usually is with animals -- the subject's voice will remain high, he won't grow facial hair or develop male pattern baldness, he'll put on less muscle and retain more fat, and he may wind up tall and long-limbed, as castration interferes with the hormonal changes that stop bone growth. He also stands a good chance of living longer. Males castrated after puberty, by contrast, will generally keep the changes already experienced, though they too will not progress to baldness.

The social effects, though . . . those get very complicated.

Castration or emasculation can be a punishment, not only for the individual, but for the lineage they're no longer able to perpetuate. As such, in a society where a crime taints the whole family, a male criminal might be executed and his sons castrated, stopping the line in its tracks. We've also often seen it as a fitting consequence for sexual crimes -- a category that at times has unfortunately included being gay. Of course, reduction in sexual desire doesn't necessarily mean its elimination entirely, not all sexual crimes are driven by desire in the first place, and there are ways to rape people without functioning testicles (or even a penis). And while there's some evidence that castrated men are less likely to re-offend, it's too scant for us to be sure of a firm causal relationship. Still, in some jurisdictions, convicts are offered a choice between castration (surgical or chemical) followed by release from prison, and serving a longer sentence while keeping their bodies intact . . . and some of them do indeed choose the former.

On the other hand, castration has sometimes been a thing people voluntarily seek out. Transgender women, of course, may pursue it in the interests of bringing their bodies in line with their self-image. Historically, boys with particularly pure singing voices might either be castrated or undergo a procedure that made their testicles atrophy, so they would retain their childhood range into adulthood; where women were forbidden to sing, these castrati took their place in music. And then in certain places and times, becoming a eunuch could actually be a route to opportunity, wealth, and power.

Though our modern democratic societies tend not to think this way, in cultures more organized around lineages and inheritance, a man who can't procreate is seen as lacking the motivations that drive people to amass power for themselves, their heirs, and their broader kin groups -- meaning that he can be relied upon to serve the interests of his lord instead. In East Asia, eunuch officials were often seen as extensions of the king's or emperor's will, in contrast with scholar-officials who might oppose it. How true this was in reality, of course, depended on the rulers and the officials in question!

That's one kind of trustworthiness; another involves women. Unsurprisingly, eunuchs have also been trusted among sheltered female populations in ways that intact males were not. Probably the most common image of them in the West is as harem guards, because they were less likely to engage in sexual behavior with the women there, and incapable of siring children on them even if such transgressions happened. That's not inaccurate, but it's incomplete, as eunuchs served in a variety of domestic and bureaucratic roles related to such environments. They were the point of contact between male and female worlds, their own liminal status allowing them to cross over into both.

Liminal -- and in many cases, lowly. Eunuchs were commonly servants or even slaves (with castrated slaves sometimes fetching a higher price), and as many of us know from other contexts, high-ranking people easily fall into the trap of forgetting just how much the servants around them are overhearing. Assumed loyalty plus invisible ubiquity makes for a great combination: is it any wonder that eunuchs sometimes doubled as spies? Of course this was not without its dangers; a servant or slave can easily be executed if caught snooping, and that loyalty may not extend in both directions. Still, knowing everyone's secrets and passing them on to the right ears can be a route to power.

Eunuchs didn't only wield power from the shadows, though. In both the Muslim and Chinese worlds, they could also rise to incredibly high rank -- including military rank! The advantage of a eunuch general is that there's not much point in him staging a coup to overthrow the ruler: what's he going to do, start a dynasty that ends when he dies? Few people will flock to that usurper's banner, given that they want stability, not a new civil war a few years or decades down the line. (I do wonder how many of those eunuch military officials were castrated as adults instead of as boys. I suspect more of the former, as they would have the benefits of puberty-induced changes to their bodies -- useful if they're expected to fight personally, instead of just directing the soldiers -- but I don't know for sure.)

In speculative fiction, eunuchs have tended to serve precisely one role: to code a society as a certain kind of "decadent" court, usually modeled on something like Muslim caliphates or the Ottoman Empire. They guard harems, and that's it. But that's been changing a little of late, with characters like the spymaster Varys in George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire or the general Ouyang in Shelley Parker-Chan's Radiant Emperor duology, which is historical fantasy set in the transition between the Chinese Yuan and Ming dynasties. Both of those characters are singular, rather than belonging to extensive traditions of eunuch service, but they both reflect genuine dynamics around the roles castrated men can fill that aren't guarding harems. I doubt we'll see a flood of eunuch characters in Anglophone fiction any time soon -- if only because it's a topic that tends to make a lot of male readers uncomfortable -- but it would be interesting to get some continued variety!

Patreon banner saying "This post is brought to you by my imaginative backers at Patreon. To join their ranks, click here!"

(originally posted at Swan Tower: https://is.gd/3vKXuV)
troisoiseaux: (reading 1)
[personal profile] troisoiseaux
Finished The Mother's Recompense by Edith Wharton, a 1925 novel about a woman who reunites with her now-adult daughter after having left her husband and losing custody when her daughter was a toddler, only to find out that - and, as this information comes out halfway through the novel but is revealed in the second or third line of the blurb, depending on which one you read, I don't feel like it is technically a spoiler* - her daughter is now engaged to her (the mother's) ex-lover, and handles this very badly. I spent most of it wanting to shake the characters (mostly the mom, Kate, and her ex, Chris**) while screaming PLEASE COMMUNICATE, although, in this case, honest communication definitely would blow up at least two relationships. ... )

* I knew the "twist" going in, from the plot description, but I have no idea whether someone reading this when it was originally published would have been similarly forewarned, so I was curious about what the original author intent/audience expectation was— was it supposed to be a shocking twist, or was the emphasis on the dramatic irony of expectation leading up to it? I can't tell from the construction of the narrative alone - there are definitely hints, and red herrings, and then the fairly obvious clue that literally no other youngish man besides Chris is ever introduced - but it probably works either way.

** Honestly kind of a surprise to read an Edith Wharton novel where everyone has names like Kate and Chris rather than, e.g., Newland and Undine.
profiterole_reads: (Kings - Jack and David)
[personal profile] profiterole_reads
In The In-Between Bookstore by Edward Underhill, Darby, a trans man, goes back to his hometown and meets his younger self in the local bookshop.

It was a good premise, but it would have worked much better as a novella. The protagonist spends too much time not understanding obvious things.

Darby is also bisexual, and there's some f/f.

The Drifter (2025)

Nov. 14th, 2025 10:36 am
pauraque: Guybrush writing in his journal adrift on the sea in a bumper car (monkey island adrift)
[personal profile] pauraque
In this sci-fi thriller set in turn-of-the-millennium Australia, Mick Carter returns to the town he swore he'd never go back to after five years on the road. He's in town for a family funeral, but before he can make it there, he witnesses a murder perpetrated by what looks like military special ops. Then Mick himself is killed as well—only to reawaken moments before his death, getting a second chance to save himself. To figure out what's going on and the nature of his strange new power to cheat death, Mick will have to untangle a web of dark conspiracy, as well as finally facing his own past.

figure is illuminated in light streaming into a railway boxcar as Mick narrates that the man is caught like a rabbit in the headlights

I've played some of these guys' game jam entries, so I was excited for their first full-length point-and-click, and it didn't disappoint. It's a gritty, story-focused game with a great balance of pulp SF and psychological drama. The premise of being able to undo your own death (possibly at the expense of your sanity) allows the game to put you in dangerous situations without frustrating game-overs, as well as exploring themes of trauma and regret. If you could go back and do things over again, would you? Should you? As the true cause of Mick's time jumps is uncovered, the game digs into these questions in ways that are both disturbing and narratively satisfying, and that's a great combination.

cut for length )

The Drifter is on Steam and GOG for $19.99 USD. There's also a free demo on the devs' itch.io page.

Thinking women

Nov. 14th, 2025 02:51 pm
oursin: Julia Margaret Cameron photograph of Hypatia (Hypatia)
[personal profile] oursin

I don't think we actually have to claim she invented science fiction, because to the best of my recollection and without going and looking it up, various people in the C17th were doing similar things. Also, honestly, why can we not claim women among the Great Eccentrics of History? What we like about Margaret Cavendish is that she appears to have heartily embraced this identity rather than having it plonked upon her by a judgemental world: The Duchess Who Invented Science Fiction.

Though I am slightly muttering under my breath about the women of the time who were also Doing Science and Being Intellectual in a rather less flamboyant fashion e.g. Lady Ranelagh, and indeed women in the Evelyn circle....

***

Quiet persistence and a lucky combination of first husband dying after a few years of marriage and sympathetic second husband (see also Mrs Delany): Mary Somerville – the first scientist - she taught Ada Lovelace, plus she lived to be 92. (You know, I am sorry for those women in science who died tragically young, but we hear a lot less about the ones like Dorothy Hodgkin who had a long and spectacularly effective career in crystallography while suffering from rheumatoid arthritis and actually GOT THE NOBEL. I also mark her up for persistence in humanitarian concerns.)

***

Okay, Amy Levy did die, by her own hand, distressingly young: but her personal archive, up till now in private hands, has now been acquired by the University of Cambridge Library: The archive of enigmatic 19th-century writer Amy Levy has a new home at Cambridge University Library

Harriette continues to be the worst

Nov. 14th, 2025 09:28 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend and I were watching a popular TV series together. The show is based on high schoolers who struggle with substance use disorder, mental health, anger management, sexual exploitation and more. We both were making comments regarding our shock throughout the episodes, but at some point, my friend looked over to me and said he feels sorry for my future children. I was wounded. That is such a strong statement.

I tried to unpack with him what he had said, but I didn't get far. He shared that he thought my expectations were too aggressive and that no kid will be able to thrive around me. I think of parenting as a balance between structure and vulnerability, and I've always hoped I will be an honest and understanding mom. Neither of us has children, by the way.

I want my friend to know his harsh critiques impacted me and that he should be more mindful with his opinions in the future. Is it even worth revisiting this conversation? -- Bad Mom


Read more... )

Thanksgiving

Nov. 14th, 2025 05:02 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
1. Dear Eric: For the last 45 years or so I’ve hosted Thanksgiving for my family. I’ve had as many as 25 people. My sister has two sons, and they’ve always stayed with me. Quite frankly, it’s now an issue. Only one son comes but he now has three sons of his own, ranging from 22 to 8. My sister also stays with me. They come on Wednesday and stay till Friday. It’s a lot considering all I have to do for the holiday.

I know if I say something about a hotel, they will be highly insulted.

My daughter also comes and stays, but that’s different. She’s one person and my daughter. Advice?

– Overwhelmed


Read more... )

****


2. Dear Prudence,

My brother has good relationships with everybody but refuses to be part of Thanksgiving, Christmas, or large group events because he says that while he loves us individually, we’re a nightmare collectively. I get it and, frankly, I would love to do the same—my parents and wider family are lovely but bicker and squabble when they get together, particularly over politics, which gets ever uglier. But I also know that my family finds his attitude deeply hurtful. I’m stuck between wanting to opt out myself or trying to persuade him to change his mind because I can see how sad it makes my mother. My instinct is to stay out of it; we’re all adults. But I also feel a bit jealous and miffed. Is there a way forward?

—Stuck in the Middle


Read more... )

****


3. Dear A.J.,

My husband’s brother, “George,” is a recovering alcoholic. He’s been sober for eight months. The thing is, Thanksgiving is coming up, and we’ve always served wine with dinner.

My husband thinks it would be completely inappropriate for us to do so this year because George is coming over, and he doesn’t want him to be “tempted.” I understand that George is going to be battling his alcoholism for the rest of his life, but at the same time, he can’t expect the world around him to be dry everywhere he goes and needs to be able to navigate settings where alcohol is served. This is turning into a sticking point between my husband and me. Is my husband right? Am I being thoughtless?

—Warring Over Wine


Read more... )

Terrible families!

Nov. 14th, 2025 05:01 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
1. Dear Eric: I am in my late 30s. I live halfway across the country from my parents, and don't have the best relationship with them. I also have a brother four years younger than me who I have been estranged from for 20 years.

My brother doesn't live with my parents, but he lives in the same city my parents do. If I visit, my parents will tell him and have him come over. I have no intentions of reconciling with him, as he did some horrible things to me 20 years ago which I can never forgive him for.

With my parents, things don't get through unless I take drastic measures. How do I go about conveying my desires not to see him? My plan would be to tell them they have to tell him he can't come to their house while I'm there, and if they don't respect my wishes, I simply won't see them. And that my parents can't just say they want to see me and not respect my conditions for the visit. I wanted your perspective on how I can "lay down the law" and enforce it.

– Unwelcome Home


Read more... )

*****


2. Dear Annie: I'm 28 and recently moved back in with my parents to save money after a tough breakup. I'm grateful for the support, but I'm having trouble with my mom's behavior. She constantly comments on my weight, how I dress, or how much I'm on my phone. Last week, she said I'd have "better luck" if I wore makeup and "put myself out there more."

I've tried brushing it off, but it's starting to wear me down. I've asked her, gently, to stop making comments about my appearance, but she just laughs and says she's "trying to help." My dad usually stays quiet or tells me not to be so sensitive.

I really want to move out, but I can't afford to just yet. Do I have to suffer through the next few months or is there a way to get through to her? -- Tired Daughter in Transition


Read more... )

***********


3. Dear Annie: My wife and I visit our daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter two or three times a year for about three days each visit. It's a five- to six-hour drive for us. Both my wife and I have severe asthma primarily from cat allergies, and we struggle with wheezing and irritated eyes every time we visit. My SIL has cat allergies, too.

Recently, their cat died (finally), and I urged my daughter to consider not getting another one. I explained our situation clearly, stating that if she did so, we'd have to stay at a hotel or B&B during future visits. She just got two more cats.

What would you think? -- Allergic and Angry


Read more... )

************


4. Dear Annie: My husband, "Keith," and I have been married for 12 years. We've always been a team when it comes to parenting our two kids, ages 9 and 6, but lately I've noticed a shift. Keith has become increasingly harsh with them, especially our oldest, "Ben." He'll snap over small things -- like a jacket left on the floor or a missed chore -- and his tone has turned cold and critical.

I've brought it up several times, but Keith insists he's "just trying to teach them responsibility." I understand that, but I worry he's doing more harm than good. Ben has started shutting down emotionally, and our younger one is now walking on eggshells.

When I try to step in and soften things, Keith accuses me of "undermining" him. I'm stuck between protecting my kids and maintaining a united front as parents. I've suggested counseling, but he refuses, saying we don't need it.

How do I support my children without turning this into a bigger conflict between me and my husband? And how do I get Keith to see that his approach may be damaging? -- Worried Wife and Mom


Read more... )

**************


5. Dear Care and Feeding,

I was once an academic competition prodigy. I was one word away from making the National Spelling Bee. My family would always attend these events, including my sister. However, when my sister started her own events, like the middle school choir, my disdain for attending was quite obvious through my groans and moans. I was a high schooler myself and quite self-centered. At her graduation, I volunteered not to go and opted instead to meet them at the restaurant where we would be celebrating.

I was 100 percent wrong for doing this. Now I am two years out of college, and my sister is almost done with her undergraduate degree. Since then, we haven’t really talked, though things are mostly cordial between us. I can count the conversations I’ve had with her since I turned 18 on one hand. My sister frequently states that when she makes it out, she probably will be a stranger to the family, and she doesn’t respond a lot to my parents or other family when they contact her. I admit that we don’t have many common interests, and I don’t know much about her, but it feels wrong not to be close to your own sister. Is there anything I can do, or is this relationship beyond repair?

—Is There a Chance?


Read more... )

*****


6. Dear Care and Feeding,

In the ‘70s and ‘80s, my learning disabilities were undiagnosed, and I was the “stupid” one in the family. As an adult, I know myself to be very intelligent, but my siblings never realized this, and they have passed on their attitudes to their school-age children.

The kids do not believe me when I speak to them about current events or anything fact-based. When they ask an adult at large to spell something, and I reply, they check my response with another adult. I told one of them a medical fact, and they told me flatly that their parent was much, much smarter, and their parent said otherwise, so I must be wrong. (The fact that I do not work due to a medical issue probably contributes to their perception of me as extremely unintelligent.)

My siblings think this is hilarious. I am hurt. I want to have a relationship with the kids while I still can. I have tried explaining learning disabilities and multiple intelligences to the kids, but I think they just see it as me lecturing them. I only see them every few months anyway. Is this battle even worth fighting? If so, how?

—The Uncle


Read more... )

*****


7. DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I get someone who believes in tough love to understand that that does not resonate with me? For a long time, my siblings and I have had strained relationships with our mom because of how crass she can be. She has strong and often negative opinions, and she is not shy about sharing them. I was recently admitted to a two-year college. I am in my late 20s and didn't prioritize college when I was 18 like my parents wanted.

Apparently, there's still some resentment there, because when I announced which school I'd be going to, my mom snickered and asked me if I was proud of that school. When she realized that she had offended me, she said that she was trying to encourage me. I can't keep letting her impose her negativity on me. Mocking me is NOT encouragement. I don't know how to get her to see that, though. -- Never Good Enough


Read more... )

****


8. DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got into a heated argument with my dad, and it's been bothering me ever since. The fight started when I told him I wanted to move to a different city for a job opportunity. He criticized my decision, saying I was being reckless and that I should stay closer to home where things are "safe" and familiar. I tried to explain why this move was important for my career and independence, but he kept bringing up past choices he didn't agree with, like leaving my old job and choosing a career path he hadn't expected. Before I knew it, I was yelling back, telling him that I need to make my own decisions and that his constant criticism feels controlling.

We haven't spoken in a few days, and I feel a mix of frustration, guilt and sadness. I love my dad and value his opinion, but I feel like he doesn't trust me to make my own choices. I want to reach out and repair our relationship, but I don't want to be the only one apologizing if he doesn't acknowledge his role in the argument. How do I approach him in a way that expresses my feelings honestly while also opening the door for reconciliation? Is it possible to set boundaries and stand firm on my decisions without damaging our relationship further? -- Dad Divide


Read more... )

Geez, this dude....

Nov. 14th, 2025 05:19 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Eric: Over the course of our 26-year marriage I have caught my wife in numerous lies. We started marriage counseling three months ago and during an early session I asked if we could finally be truthful with each other, no more lies. No such luck.

Years ago, her brother suddenly fled and left all his belongings. She put them in storage but when I found out I told her to remove them or have him pay the monthly fee. Today I discovered she has been paying for her brother’s monthly storage bill for at least 10 years without my knowledge. That comes to $16,500. It may even be higher.

Initially she said she was being reimbursed. I asked for proof. She said she would show me. Then she changed her story to say it's her money and she can spend it however she chooses, so forget the proof. Pretty sure there never was any proof of reimbursement. My wife believes the best defense is to go on the offense, and she does it a lot.

I am married to a liar, a sneak, someone with no conscience. What should I do?

– Deceived Again


Read more... )

(no subject)

Nov. 14th, 2025 09:46 am
oursin: Brush the Wandering Hedgehog by the fire (Default)
[personal profile] oursin
Happy birthday, [personal profile] beth_meacham and [personal profile] hunningham!

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