Barnstorming on an Invisible Segway

We finally got around to watching the latest John Wick installment, Ballerina (2025)!

Given how great Wick chapters 2 through 4 were we naturally had high hopes, but what ended up being the real delight of this film is how it treats its female lead, and especially how it dresses its female lead. I can honestly say that this is the only action movie I have ever seen where a female lead gets to dress badass in exactly the same way that a male lead gets to dress badass, as opposed to either a) femme fatale shit or b) Sexy Paramilitary. You know how people used to be like, “I wish we could have female James Bond, but not the way the movies would inevitably do this, just, everything is literally exactly the same, but James Bond is played by a woman”? James Bond may never have the balls, but apparently John Wick of all things does, because Eve Macarro spends 90% of this film dressed exactly like Keanu Reeves, murdering like Keanu Reeves, and, for the most part, being treated by the narrative like Keanu Reeves, which is not at all what I was expecting. I had been sure that we’d get something in the vein of Rina Sawayama in Wick 4—who was phenomenal, and I can’t imagine a cooler first-ever-film-role for someone to have, but who was definitely still doing those spectacular fight sequences in sexy elven archer armor while Keanu Reeves was in his usual black suit.

I have just never seen a female lead in an action movie about whom it was possible to have the “I want to be that” reaction before! Absolutely female power fantasy material. And seeing as, in the year of our lord 2k26, at the age of thirty-something, I can still count the number of actual female power fantasies I have encountered in the media ON ONE HAND (three. This film maybe makes three, and one of those doesn’t even actually count, because Mass Effect was literally written about a male character and then they decided to add a female voiceover option at the last minute), that earns this movie so many points from me, even before you get to the part where it has a flamethrower fight. (And the flamethrower fight was awesome, once again I can’t wait to look up the BTS.)

——In light of all of which it is absolutely killing me that the Blu-Ray cover and most of the theatrical posters for this film use the one (1) total scene where Eve wears a dress, lmao, marketing really went “Wait, we can’t just tell people we let a woman Be John Wick, quick, make it more male gaze—”

Anyway! Was this as great as Wick 3 and 4, perhaps not, but it was good and absolutely stylistically on-theme and I enjoyed it a great deal. This is the right direction!! More of this please!! I would absolutely watch three more films of Eve Macarro murdering her way through assorted mooks. (Oh, and of course Le Castle Vania’s soundtracks were terrific as always, no notes, the bass drop in that club scene was [chef’s kiss].)

Obligatory Russian language note: every single person in this film puts the stress on the wrong syllable of the word “kikimora” and it is physically painful to me, it is keeKEEmora (кики́мора) (and with o -> a vowel reduction in the last syllable so it sounds more like “kikimara,” but never mind), not kikiMORa, please, I am begging. (And also Wick should still be the Babai, not the Baba Yaga, I will die on this hill.)