Important questions

[mrissa]

There comes a time in every woman's life when she must ask herself the deep, important questions: Who am I? Where am I going with all this? How did I get a shard of glass in my brassiere?

Well?

Comments

[truepenny.livejournal.com]

Why am I causing my friends to snort their blackberry yogurt?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Oh, that one's easy! Because I am Not A Nice Mrissa.

I keep trying to tell people, but they hardly ever listen....

[seagrit.livejournal.com]

Has Melvin been ingesting your dinnerware lately? Or perhaps someone confusedly put the laundry in the dishwasher? :)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Melvin has certainly been unruly, but I haven't noticed any glasses going missing....

[skylarker.livejournal.com]

Has anything near you been broken lately?

(The smartass remark would have been, 'broken any hearts lately?')

[songwind.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you live an amnesiac double life at night, one during which it is necessary to set booby traps in your brassiere?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

No. If it had, all this would make sense. I could say, "Ah, that vase!" or "The glass when I was pouring wine!" But no.

And if I have broken any hearts lately, the owners of those hearts have not seen fit to inform me, for which I think I might be grateful.

[redbird]

Are your lightbulbs exploding?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

It is a shame I cannot throw this fish far enough to hit you.

Umm. Long story -- worse, long gaming story -- so I will spare you.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I am not a lightbulb-endowed Mrissa -- all glow emanating from me is bioluminescence from lack of melanin.

More seriously, no.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

The last time I had shards of glass distributed about my person it was because I had been rather too close when a GNER train window exploded inwards at me. Lucky thing I was wearing my glasses since I have this stop-frame image of the glass turning white and bowing inwards, which means I was looking right at it when it went. Then I wasn't.

[songwind.livejournal.com]

Well, please feel free to tell me long stories if it suits you. :)

[pameladean]

Did you travel with this bra? Glass in the suitcase? Broken glass in Omaha?

In your place, I would eye my bra with really extreme disfavor.

P.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

No, it was a stay-at-home bra. I mean, I think I wore it up to your house last week, but that doesn't really count as travel, and none of your glassware broke around me, either. It was just sitting in the hamper with a shard of glass in it, stuck in by the wire. Err, the bra was. Your glassware is not in my hamper, to the best of my knowledge, and I just emptied the hamper, so I'd know.

I must confess to patting down the bra I'm currently wearing in hopes of finding no untoward pokey bits. Successfully, I might add.

Well, perhaps that confession was not strictly imperative.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Eep. Good glasses, too.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

wow, that's...

hhmmm....

I could not even begin to hazard a guess.

[mkille.livejournal.com]

Um. If you wash your bras in the machine, perhaps the porthole is cracked? And if you wash your bras in the sink, there are all sorts of hypotheses.

Or, it could be something about sand in your bra being fused by high temperatures...

[copperwise.livejournal.com]

A couple of years ago I did a dumb thing...had a glass casserole dish sitting on the stove while I prepared the ingredients. Turned on the wrong unit for the teakettle...the unit the dish was on.

Imagine my surprise when I had my back turned (thank God) and the unevenly heated dish suddenly exploded. Glass everywhere, burning pieces of potato raining down around the kitchen.

Fast forward 2 years, we're getting ready to move to this house...packing...and I find glass at the bottom of my underwear drawer. How it got from kitchen to underwear drawer will forever be a mystery.

[ladysea.livejournal.com]

Hamper....it could have come off a different piece of clothing.

I tend to gather up little pieces of glass with my flesh. Yippee. My toes will be traumatized for life. And I am sure so will I and the hubby, as we saw my handful of blood from the glass stuck in the toe. *shudder*

Glad the boobs were not traumatized for life. ;-P

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

Ow.

And yes, I'm right there with you, on your other post. I can Only Write The Books I Get.

I can work to write them as well as possible, mind you, but there's no way I could have written Spin, to pick something at random that impressed me recently.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

I took a nice big glass out of the freshly-clean dishwasher, once. All steamy and hot. And then I took the chilly orange juice out of the fridge and poured it into the nice big glass.

And then I tried to pick up the nice big glass, and watched as the bottom half stayed on the counter and my chilly orange juice ran everywhere.

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

*Snerk* metaquotes

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

It's not glass at all. You're a diamond smuggler.

[mamculuna.livejournal.com]

Heh.

angeya suggested I follow your journal--I'm trying to be a writer, also, and really like what you've been saying. OK to friend you?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Hypotheses like what?

HIGH TEMPERATURES???

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

You do realize that the "different piece of clothing" hypothesis merely pushes the question off to something like, "How did that shard of glass get into my panties?"

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly: I can work to write my books well. Which strikes me as a better idea than striving to write someone else's books poorly.

I was less impressed by Spin, mostly because I hated all the characters with the hatey hatingness.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

And it was so cold my diamonds could cut -- oh, wait.

That's an extremely good secret career. I didn't even tell me about it. I'm sneaky like that.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Sure, be welcome!

[ladysea.livejournal.com]

Now that is a scary though. Marissa with the glass smooshing woman parts! eeep!

It would leave you the option of saying, "My woman parts are so tough they spit glass!"

Either way...LOL

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Sometimes when I have cramps....

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

I think your bra needs a good talking-to. It's obviously been doing things behind your back, naughty things it shouldn't be doing. Maybe it got caught in a bar brawl, and a piece of a glass landed in it. Or it's been fornicating with a Bond girl, and got in the way of the glass that always seems to be present somehow in action films. Or...

...I think I need to go to bed.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Most of the replies I thought of here probably indicate that I should go to bed, too.

Especially as I typed that "should to go bed" and then "should go to ed" the first two tries.

Oof.

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

Oh, but sleep-deprived comments are the best kind! They're almost always hilarious, and occasionally good blackmail material.

I once typed "pubic" instead of "public" during an IM conversation. It was contextually amusing, but kind of embarrassing, considering that the person I was IMing was a Catholic twelve-year-old.

[ladysea.livejournal.com]

Agreed!

[nolajax.livejournal.com]

I once typed "pubic" instead of "public" during an IM conversation. It was contextually amusing, but kind of embarrassing, considering that the person I was IMing was a Catholic twelve-year-old.

*gigglesnort*

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I made approximately that slip: I was talking about the Romans and the Pubic Wars. I was deeply embarrassed, but I was also young enough that I was the only one in the conversation who knew about the Punic Wars or the pubic area, so everyone else was confused about what was wrong.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Better than a live bee in your swimsuit!

[skylarker.livejournal.com]

Mysterious. Could it have happened when you weren't present? (i.e.: brassiere is in laundry basket when accident happens nearby?)

[mkille.livejournal.com]

Hypotheses like what?

Like a glass or dish broke in or near the sink. Or, you had glass on your hands and washed them, and the glass didn't make it down the drain.

HIGH TEMPERATURES???

It *is* summer...

[mkille.livejournal.com]

Reid and I discovered that yellow jackets had made their home in a free-newspaper dispenser outside the post office. Better than swimsuits, but not good.

[scottjames.livejournal.com]

Booby traps. Hee hee hee. Fish indeed.

And the glass: it was probably my cat. He found a piece of glass last weekend from the vodka set he broke many moons (well, maybe two moons) ago.

[(Anonymous)]

Might not've been that far off the mark. You know them Romans... horny buggers, all of them.

[(Anonymous)]

I found a live ant in an uncomfortable section of my swimsuit. It bit, too. I didn't know ant bites could hurt that much, actually.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

And he teleports things from Chicago to Minnesota? Neat! That is one talented cat!