State of the Mrissa Report: Wednesday

[mrissa]

I am crossing out whole pages and sections of Sampo as changes in motivation and structure pile up, as I approach the end of this read-through. It's all right. Freeing, even. Also, my brain is preparing to do something when I'm done with the edits. I don't know what yet, but you know how books feel like rocks in my head? (If you didn't know: they do.) There's something coming to the fore that is large and cool. I don't even know yet if it's an idea I've already had coming to fruition or something new. I just feel it coming.

(Please keep in mind that I have never argued with the idea that all writers are fruitbats. I just hope to be one of the interesting fruitbats.)

The dysosmia is, if anything, getting worse. Certainly more frequent. My dreams last night smelled thoroughly of beetles (the shimmery green kind, squished), and today's odd smell shift was when timprov's soda went smelling like a bologna sandwich on Wonderbread with Miracle Whip. We don't stock bologna or Wonderbread, never have. The thing about smells is that if you see things weirdly, you can close your eyes, and if you hear things weirdly, you can plug your ears, but if you smell weird things and put in nose plugs, you will smell the nose plugs weirdly. At least I will. For awhile it was limiting itself to food I was also tasting, but even then I was not allowed to stop eating as a solution. Now, there is no "safe" time. I am always smelling something, so that smelling can always go awry. Most of the time I manage not to think about this, but sometimes it's alarming and very hard not to think about.

The pup does not approve of tornado sirens or losing her baby teeth but has otherwise been in a pretty excellent mood in the last few days. Much wagging. She also decided for awhile this morning that she had to be touching the manuscript of Sampo while I was working on it. She didn't interfere in any way or attempt to chew on the Special Stick; she wasn't even awake the whole time. But she had to have her paw on the corner of the binder, and if I shifted, so did she, even without waking, to keep touching it. Strange are the ways of puppies, but sweet.

I feel like I'm getting by with some kind of minimum this week, just the things I really need to do and no more. Which is better than not hitting that minimum, I suppose. Next week markgritter will be in California on business, and I think I will be asking for help. It'll partly depend on how timprov is doing and what he can handle, what he needs. But yah: we'll get through it, and I'm not fussed about calling in cavalry. So there's that.

Comments

[batwrangler.livejournal.com]

I wish I had something better to offer than sympathy on your olfactory distress, and congratulations on your having such a thoroughly satisfactory puppy.

[ladysea.livejournal.com]

*raises her hand to enlist*

If you need anything I can help with, let me know. =)

[miz-hatbox.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure why I want to know why you know what beetles smell like squished.

Though I am very curious to know what your squished-beetle dreams were supposed to smell like.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Don't tell me you've never squished a beetle, accidentally or otherwise?

My squished beetle dreams were either supposed to smell like detergent and markgritter (as that's what I was actually smelling) or at least not to linger as I was waking up.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Much appreciated.

[timprov.livejournal.com]

You know, you can admit to your previous addiction to beetle snuff. Nobody here will hold it against you.

[skylarker.livejournal.com]

The dysosmia sounds very weird and difficult. If one of my dominanat senses started playing tricks like that I'd be more than half inclined to doubt all the others and harbor some paranoid fantasies of being drugged, hypnotized and fed bologna sandwiches in a dank beetled basement.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

This is exactly the sort of thing I'm trying not to do, thanks!

[mkille.livejournal.com]

Huh. I thought markgritter *did* smell like squished beetles.

[skylarker.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't mention it if it weren't clear that you're keeping your perspective. (And I'm impressed that you are, under the circumstances.) Paranoid fancies can be good grist for stories, though...

[batwrangler.livejournal.com]

Feel free to smite for suggesting something you've probably already explored, but might you have a zinc deficiency? IIRC they can cause things to smell/taste bad.

[cadithial.livejournal.com]

If you need anything next week, let me know. I can cart you around or run errands for you.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

That was special for your visit.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Much appreciated.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

We did look into that, yes. Sadly, my zinc is fine. (I was really hoping for a zinc deficiency. Because then I could just take zinc! And be fine!)

And the "feel free to smite" clause is much appreciated. I deal very well with "I know you may have already considered this, but just in case" and not at all well with "you haven't been thinking about this."

[miz-hatbox.livejournal.com]

But not all of them smell, or at least not strongly enough to notice if you don't put your nose right up to the belated bug, and I am not sure that I would remember the smell of a given species of beetle. Your sense of smell impresses me greatly.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

It's not something I cultivated, it's just something I have. The little Japanese ladybug beetles smell quite different than the shimmery green ones when smooshed, and for me it's like being able to tell the difference in their appearances: it's just something there.

[miz-hatbox.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know you did not purposely cultivate it but I am impressed nonetheless. It strikes me as being very useful to have (when it's working properly, anyway), and a much richer way to perceive the world.

I have a friend who is synesthetic (she sometimes perceives sounds as flashes of colors) and I sometimes wish I had that same extra level of perception.

If you don't mind my asking, is there anything that's still tasting the way it's supposed to? Is there anything you wouldn't normally like that is tasting unusually good these days, such as Brussels Sprouts tasting like hot fudge sundaes?

[talimena.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry this dysosmia (pretty word, though) is still plaguing you. I wish I could offer more than sympathy, but you do have that. Good luck with the week. Oh, and hitting the minimum is definitely impressive, I think.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Most things are tasting as they ought, on the average. It's just some things, and I never know which it'll be, or when. And so far I haven't gotten anything that was unusually good. Even the things that are switched between things I like (cornbread tasting like almonds, say) are upsetting because the texture doesn't change, so I'm quite aware of the wrongness.