Not obsessing....

Entirely unstarted: 31, 52, 62, 65.
Started but unfinished: 30, 34, 47, 48, 53, 54, 58, 59.

That's two yesterday and two this morning. I'm still in my pajamas. My agenda for the day is lunch with Rachel and book. I could possibly manage to sort the laundry and make a quick library/PO run, but basically, book it is. Book book book. I think I need to add "not book" to the agenda. Some yoga, that kind of thing. Something that will keep me from just going and going and going until I fall over.

Note that Chapter 30 is still not finished. I am so glad I don't write sequentially, it's not even funny. I am trying not to obsess about Chapter 30. The fact that it's the earliest unfinished chapter should mean nothing. It doesn't matter if I finish it next or last. Nobody will judge anything based on that. I could write in reverse order from here on out, and nobody would ever care, or even know if I wasn't telling you. I could draw chapter numbers from a hat, and as long as I wrote them, nobody would care how I picked which one to write next.

Still. It just sits there. And Chapter 34 is looking quite friendly, and then it's a big jump to 48.

Nobody cares, M'ris. Just write.

Mrissa Duke Of York

Entirely unstarted: 52, 65.
Started but unfinished: 30, 34, 48, 54, 58, 59.

Woohoo! I am done with Chapter 30! Until the revisions! Wait: perhaps that last bit was not worthy of an exclamation point. Ah well.

Six chapters left. Goodness.

Here's the problem with Mrissas: you know the mighty Duke of York song? "He had ten thousand men" and all that? It's the bit about "And when you're up you're up, and when you're down you're down, but when you're only halfway up, you're neither up nor down." (Perhaps you don't know this song. Just trust me: it's a song.) It seems like when I'm doing one thing right, I'm doing lots of things right, but when I'm screwing up my writing, I'm also screwing up the entire rest of my life. Which is in a way good: I wouldn't want my loved ones to have to choose whether they had to deal with me blocked or bitchy and always have to have one. On the other hand, getting both at once is not the best thing in the world. Times like now when it's neither are probably all right with everybody.

Still, I'm probably taking better care of myself than I do on usual days. Had a good walk with timprov and made sure to do my Pilates and take a reading break and run to the library and PO. My to-do list is much closer to reasonable than it usually is. Even though it includes "finish book."

But not tonight. Four chapters is enough for today. Especially as one of them was the dreaded Chapter 30. Now I need fear nothing. Rah.