Open letter to the neighbors

Dear neighbors:

You need to stop letting your dogs out to barkbarkbark at 5:45 a.m. No, really. You need to stop. It is not a friendly thing to do. It's getting old. Do you know how old it's getting? The last two mornings, my dog has made the exact noise a junior makes in a squirrelly freshman dorm. The, "arrrmmmmmmfffff," noise. The, "Can't you stupid damn kids just go back to sleep?" noise. My dog is bored with your dogs running around barking this early. Dogs never get bored by other dogs running around barking. So there you go: you are tedious about this as well as unpleasant. They are the dogs. You are the monkeys. Deal with it.

Nolove,
mrissa

You, me, and the fencepost.

I'm going to tell you all a secret, because unlocked posts on the internet with one's real name and photograph attached are the best place for secrets:

This book I'm revising? I think it's going to be pretty good, once I'm done revising it and some smart people have told me what I missed and I revise it some more.

Shhhh. Don't tell anybody.