"You're the one."

[Movie poster: a very round head silhouetted looking broodingly out the window at a pond full of bobbing ducks. Tagline: "In a world of stark black and white...he dared to be orange."]

[movie trailer voice]

"When I squeeze you, you make noise...I had no idea it was shrieks of despair."

Every day when a lonely young scientist made his way to the tubby, he found a little fella who was cute and yella and chubby...until one day he found existential angst instead. Consumed by grief at the loss of his beloved rubber ducky, he tried to clone a whole pond of them--only to find that the soulless automata clones would destroy him--if he didn't destroy himself first. Featuring Johnny Depp as the eccentric pigeon-keeping roommate. Tim Burton's Ernie. Coming soon to theaters near you.

[/movie trailer voice]

This is what happens when we don't enunciate when discussing taking the godchildren on theatrical outings.

Oh well. It could have been much worse.