The Sunday thing

[mrissa]

Here's the thing --

And once again I will note that it is rare that someone starts an lj post like that and it turns out that "the thing" is that everybody feels fine and happy and I think I'll go for a walk.

-- taking Sunday off is good for me. It's good recharge time. I seem to have a choice between writing eagerly for six days a week or writing ploddingly for seven. (I can do eagerly for seven for a few months at a time, but eventually, kerthud.) This seems like a reasonable choice. Other people get days off from their jobs.

But on my days not-off, when I ask myself, "What the hell am I doing here?", the answer is, "I am writing!" And this is a fine answer, and then I go back to doing more of it. Rah.

On my days off, sometimes when I ask myself, "What the hell am I doing here?", the answer is, "...." I mean, the answer is still, "I am writing," but after that things get a little shaky: this writing, is it going where I want it to go? Is it doing what I want it to do? Are the places I want to go and the things I want to do going to be good to want in the long-run? Or is there a different spot where the mortar of this particular brick wall is perhaps a little more cracked, a little weaker, a little more receptive to my skull? Am I using my strengths? Am I trying to strengthen my weaknesses?

These are good questions to be asking. They are not the same as, "Do I suuuuuck at this?" Sometimes, if one is excessively clever, "Do I suuuuuck at this?" can masquerade as a series of reasonable questions. I'm not saying I am never excessively clever in that direction. But it's one of those cases where the existence of writerly angst doesn't invalidate the question of whether a specific work or set of works is any good in a particular way.

And the thing is, it's very easy to get cheerleading from good friends. You say, "I am afraid that I suuuuuuck at this." And they say, "No! You do not suck!" And then everybody is happy. Or if they are very articulate, they say, "No! You do not suck! Here is what I read and why it is non-sucky!" And then everybody is still happier. And I do not want to belittle articulate assurances of non-suckage, for they are greatly valuable, and indeed sometimes they are what keeps us going.

But if you're asking yourself if you're going in the right direction, or if you're improving a particular weakness, or whatever with the work you're doing currently, references to past work don't help all that much. Only time helps that. Time or, I suppose, having someone read the current draft as it stands, and I am allergic to having people read more than a few sentences or (at most) paragraphs at a time of a project that has not cooked fully. It does not motivate me. It makes me want to hide under the desk and only talk to my grandmother, who never has had any interest in speculative fiction of any kind for its own sake and never will. And as much as I love my grandmother, I'm rather fond of people who aren't my grandmother as well, so. Here we are, and if any of us are psychic, it's in the wrong direction for this particular problem. But tomorrow it won't be Sunday any more.

And it's snowing now, and that makes my heart happy in ways I can't fully explain. So there's that, at least.

Comments

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

I just finished reading CHLTL. I really, really liked it. It was not at all what I expected, not having read any of your other Carter Hall stories- or anything for that matter. Are your other CH stories published? Available on the web? I'd like to read them and fill in the background on the characters.

[allochthon.livejournal.com]

I don't know why you're here, but you've enriched my life by it. So, thanks.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Ah. No, actually, why am I here is an easy one: I am here to love people and tell stories, and I'm all out of bubble gum.

But what I mean is more like, "This thing I am doing: what is it?"

But I'm still glad you said that; thank you.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it! On Spec (a print mag) has already published the first of the short stories, which I could send you if you wanted, and the second is forthcoming in a subsequent issue. CHLtL is the third short story. Before any of the short stories is the book, but that's still bits and pieces and not done yet.

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

I'd love the first one!

[aszanoni.livejournal.com]

M'ris, I am glad you are here.

I understand that cheerleading for past work doesn't always help with current work.

One of my favorite lines from Diane Duane's Door Into... books was "I know what I'm for." Very satisfying. I admire that sense of purpose. Maybe someone else feels that way all the time without doubt. I know much of what I'm for - am always willing to learn though. :>

I admire all the questions that you ask yourself too. Happiness of snow!

-hugs-

- Chica

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Yah, as I said to K. above, what I meant was less, "Why am I here?", because the answer to that is to tell stories and love people. It's more, "This thing I'm doing, what is it?" Important to ask. Not necessarily answerable.

[kythiaranos.livejournal.com]

I read an interesting article once about the idea of a Sabbath as a spiritual recharge, not necessarily a religious one--that in our rush-rush world, it's good to have some regular time blocked out to *not* be doing. And I think that's true, however a person chooses to make it work.

I do frequently end up writing on Sundays, but I try to make it an optional thing, if the writer brain wants to play. That way it doesn't become just another slog.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

For me, the distinction is longhand and spontaneous. If I want to write something down in my paper journal that just occurs to me on the spot, that's fine, but no pushing it past the point where it happens to stop flowing. No fiction on the computer at all.

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

So I read CHRTP.

I *love* that Janet is a secondary character. Unexpected, especially from a female author, but placing the focus on the male characters gives the story a very different twist. Creative and innovative, totally unexpected and I like it. I do love that she plays hockey and the whole skating ice magic thing is *cool*.

*I* picked up on "Rob Bonhomme" before Carter did. Hee. :) [pose] Carter's kind of careless. Should really have talked to Tam or Janet before getting questionable baby gifts. His ignorance of the sidhe is plausible though- much more so than if he "just happened" to be an avid fan who knew all about red caps, etc.

I am dying to read the story of the hocky match with the Dark Lady. I really hope you're planning on writing it.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I am several thousand words into The True Tale of Carter Hall, which is the novel-length story of the hockey match and surrounding events that precede these short stories. I'm glad you like them! Janet is more of a protag in the book, but by no means the only one.

Carter's voice is just plain fun for me. I'm doing another story right now, not diving right into "Carter Hall Judges the Lines," but I have a feeling it won't be too long before the golden apple lands near Carter's skates and I'm headfirst back into that world and those characters again.

[aszanoni.livejournal.com]

-nods-

People who don't ask important questions scare me. Answers - not so easy to find. But the lack of asking... -shivers-

- Chica