Things I've Learned

[mrissa]

One of my friends, in a locked post, listed some Things She's Learned in her time on the planet, and asked us for the same. So, in no particular order:

1. You know how they say that family are the people where, if you go there, they have to take you in? Yah, sure, okay, but also: family are the people who don't wait until they have to take you in.

2. The people who love you, don't love you because they think you're perfect. Anything you do that's based on keeping the people who love you from finding out that you're imperfect is probably a pretty shaky idea.

3. Showing up and giving a damn isn't enough for everything, but it's a good start. And it's enough for an astonishing number of things.

4. Meaning well is all very well, but meaning well and doing a little research is even better.

5. If you are more than two years out of high school, the people you went to high school with do not exist. They have been replaced by 20-year-olds (30-year-olds, 40-year-olds, 70-year-olds...) with very different lives from what they had in high school. You can stay friends with them as you both change, or you can make friends with them again later, if you want to. You can be cold or cordial to the people they've become. But "showing them" is not going to work, because the "them" who are to be "shown" there does not exist any more. You may as well wish to prove yourself in the eyes of the unicorns.

6. Anything you do -- anything -- can be cast in a negative light if someone really wants to. That "someone" includes yourself. Don't be ashamed of the people, places, or things you like because someone might sneer at them. Someone sneers at everything. If you take a large enough sampling of people, you will find jerks. But they aren't your life -- you can't let them be -- and you certainly shouldn't strive to do their work for them.

That's not all I've learned, but it's a start.

Comments

"What I've Learned"

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Esquire has been doing a series (http://www.esquire.com/search/fast_search?search_term=what%20i've%20learned) like this for years. Some of them are pretty good.

I've long wanted to do one of my own, but I take the project way too seriously to just jot a few things down.

B

[athenais.livejournal.com]

Ah, number five. How I wish I'd learned that sooner in life. It is so true.

[rose-and-ivy.livejournal.com]

I love this! It's so true. Although I'm not entirely convinced of #2 yet, myself.

I know you are a writer, but it bears being said, anyhow; you have a great way with words.

[pixelfish.livejournal.com]

Mrissa explains it all!

(Okay, sorry, couldn't resist.)

Very true, very true. Number 5 especially, as I've learned recently. :)

[mamculuna.livejournal.com]

My yoga teacher often says, "You have to be present to win." I'll go with that.

[sethb.livejournal.com]

3. "80% of life is showing up." -- Woody Allen

[anonuum.livejournal.com]

I wonder if my feeling is based on the (fortunate? unfortunate?) fact that I have never happened to read any fiction about unicorns, but for me "proving myself in the eyes of the unicorns" seems such a good label when in need to lean on something, but not finding anything or anyone available.

So, who cares that what you plan to do seems suspiciously hard work for a questionable reward and you need some support, but - due to the hard and questionable mentioned previously - not only do you fail to find anyone else to root for you, even your own self fails to cheer for your own efforts (and sometimes I DO need cheering if not steering to proceed)! You can always make the effort anyway, just to prove yourself in the eyes of unicorns!

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

I like these. I figured out #5 for myself fairly quickly, and it's an excellent point.

[redbird]

Related to number 2: Most of the time, good enough is good enough. Many things can be done well enough to satisfy even if they could be done better, even if both you the doer and those around you can tell the difference. I might notice that you didn't, say, give me hot fudge on my ice cream, but good ice cream is still a fine thing.

[one-undone.livejournal.com]

That's a pretty good start, actually.

Thanks for sharing these.

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

I like #5 a lot. :)