Stern and mean and no fun at all.

[mrissa]

I don't want to talk about the vertigo, but it's been no fun the last several days, so it's kind of taking a lot of attention, for something I don't want to talk about. A friend had to cancel tea with me today, which is good, because now I can pretend I wouldn't have been too dizzy to do it; it's on her. Um. Simple declarative sentence mode, I guess. It's cold. This Finnish history book is poorly copy-edited. I like cucumbers. My dog is nice.

There were three things I wanted to mention, though, sort of policy-ish things, because I am stern and mean and no fun at all:

1) Political speech is not socially privileged with me. If you are a jerk to groups of people in the name of politics, I'm not going to enjoy that any more than if you were a jerk to them in the name of anything else, all the way down to frisbee golf or macramé. I will not have a political affiliation test for remaining on my friendslist, and I understand that political speech can get pretty intense. I would like to say that I'd never de-friend someone for their politics, but of course there are political positions that are way beyond the pale. But in general, within much of current American political discourse, I won't de-friend people for their politics. I will de-friend them for being a jerk about their politics, even if I agree with the particular position. Ideally this will not come up because everyone will treat everyone else like human beings except for Politician X, who obviously doesn't deserve it.

2) I don't promote things in this lj unless I actually genuinely like them. It's really no good writing to me to ask me to promote, say, a kind of onion rings, because I don't eat onion rings, ever, so it doesn't matter how good your onion rings are. If, on the other hand, I eat your sweet potato fries and they're really good, you don't have to ask, because I will rave about them on my own, no problem. I like good sweet potato fries. Sending me free stuff in case I like it is fine. Specifically asking me to shill for you for something I haven't even tried: not fine. I can stand a certain amount of targeted advertisement, but skipping advertising to me and moving right on to asking me to advertise for you? Not gonna happen, so save your pixels.

3) If I send you an unpublished manuscript, either for critique purposes or as a friendly thing, like I did for Christmas '06, I would really prefer that you not show it around to other people without asking me first. And I would really prefer that you not forward the pixels to people without asking me first. This is not about who has a right to what or lawsuits or anything like that. This is me asking nicely, saying, I would find it more congenial if you refrained. I would find it more civil. And I would more likely feel friendly the next time I was doing a friendly thing. If I'm still trying to sell a story, I'd prefer that there not be any real question about whether it's been published before, and I'd prefer that I know which editors have seen it, more or less. The stories I'm willing to have distributed hither, thither, and yon are linked right here for your reading pleasure and your second cousin's college roommate's co-worker's reading pleasure. Again, I know that once a story has left my hands, I don't control it. So I'm not saying, "YOU CAN'T." I'm saying, "Please don't."

Comments

[skzbrust.livejournal.com]

How can you not like onion rings?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

1. They are composed mostly of onion.
2. The rest is deep-frying.
3. I am a Mris.

You can have mine.

[markgritter.livejournal.com]

No he can't.

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

Aha, an assertion of spousal perogative! Are you in a community property state? Because then half of them are yours anyway. HusbandMan says I don't quite get how that law works, but it's worked well for me. Especially when there are french fries.

[markgritter.livejournal.com]

Minnesota is not a community property state. Assets are divided "equitably" so there is room for argument.

In a community-property state, Marissa could give away half of my onion rings. That would be no good. :)

However, since I live in a matriarchy, I suppose Marissa has the legal right to give away all of the onion rings, both mine and hers... alas.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

If you don't like it, you shouldn't have voted for the matriarchy. I didn't.

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

But she never, ever would. She strikes me as a benevolent dictator. You'd have to be pretty naughty for her to reallocate your onion rings. Or would reallocation make her a communist?

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

I am willing to throw myself on unexploded bits of deep-fried almost anything for the greater good, if any are left floating around.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

Reason 1 is sufficient for J. He generally doesn't like onions at all, though over the years he has come to tolerate green onions.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I'm not mad keen on them myself. Some things have to have onions in them to taste right (my chili, for example, can be done onion-free for those who have allergies, but otherwise really should have onions in), but then I want to pick the actual bits of onion back out again. Garlic is my alium of choice.

[miz-hatbox.livejournal.com]

I feel so much better to know that I have company in my "yes it must have onions in, but I won't eat them." Some salads won't taste right unless the lettuce has spent time next to the onion, but then *I* am not happy if I eat the onion, so I don't.

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

Hm. I sometimes feel that way about celery...

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Really? I had no idea there was a good use for celery, even in proximity!

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I fully support your not-eating of that onion.

[allochthon.livejournal.com]

I often feel this way about mushrooms. Such a weird species we are...

[diatryma.livejournal.com]

On Science Daily sometime in the last week or so, there was a bit about compounds found in celery that intensify flavors even though they don't taste like much at all. Celery is a booster-shot for all the things that actually have taste.
Other than that, made of string and crunch. Not a proper food at all.

[diatryma.livejournal.com]

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/01/080121100811.htm
There's the actual link, because I realized it was perhaps rude to refer to easily available research without an actual path to it. It also uses the word 'phthalide' which is just too much fun.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

One of my favorite things about oil painting was getting to say "phthalocyanine" on a regular basis.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

It's an Ayers Rock policy!

When you go to Uluru, the Australian Aboriginal tribe who owns it asks you not to climb. They don't say you can't, because then tour groups would stop coming, and they really want the opportunity to tell people about their culture. So they say "Please don't. It's sacred to us." And most people do anyway.

But here's the thing: this is a case where virtue is directly rewarded. If you climb the Rock, you are one in a long line of people like ants, going up a steep rock in the hot sun. And when you're at the top, you look out on very desolate desert, because the one thing to see in that region is Uluru itself. Whereas if you take the trail around it, instead, as you are requested to do, you are on a beautiful shady trail with hardly any people, and you get to look at all the interesting features of Uluru with signs explaining who that feature is sacred to (might be children, or old people, or shamans) and what it means to them.

We didn't climb it. I've climbed mountains and seen deserts; I have nothing to prove in that respect, and I don't like stepping on other poeple's sacred icons. I have seldom made a decision I was happier about.

Similar thing here: doing the right thing has obvious direct benefits, in the sense of making you more likely to let us read stories and to send them to people who haven't broadcast them as well as to you in letting you control your words as is the right thing.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

One can't always make it more pleasant for others to do what one wants, but it's good to try that.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

My work is creating / improving processes. I hadn't realized until now, but I guess my rules of thumb apply elsewhere too. In order:

1)If possible, make it easier to do things the way you want than to do them any other way.
2) If that's not possible, help people to see the direct benefit to them in doing things your way.
3) If that's not possible, at least make sure they see the benefit to the organization in doing things your way - and get the people who *do* benefit to apply leverage.

[redbird]

I feel I should warn you that some people deep-fry jalapeños.