The holly has not yet been hauled out, but that's okay.

[mrissa]

On some things--most things--any time before Thanksgiving is too early for Christmas preparations. I was in a restaurant last week that had their Christmas decorations up, and this offended me. I understand that in Minnesota people sometimes feel the need to put up external Christmas lights in October or so, in case the weather goes inclement and never gets clement again, but you don't light them. And for other stuff, no. Just no. Thanksgiving is the cutoff--US Thanksgiving, not Canadian Thanksgiving.

However, there are some things that go better with some planning. For serious Christmas bakers, having some idea what we're going to make helps. And not wanting to eat anything really at all does not help with being inspired to bake. And then there are Christmas cards: it's good to know how many to get. And there is...kind of series of things with a variety of people feeding into my reaction to Christmas cards this year. I am significantly less enthused about them than I have been in several of the past years. There are a couple of people in very different areas of my life who...gee, let's see how non-specific I can be on an open lj post. I have been fairly disappointed by the people in question. And the question of how to handle Christmas cards regarding that has sort of made the whole process just a little less merry and bright for me. And it means that where I would often be sending Christmas cards to lots of friends, this year I am not going to send to as many friends, because I figure most of you don't want Christmas cards if it's not fun for me to send them. And if you do want Christmas cards if it's not fun for me to send them, please by all means tell me, so I can cross you off the list permanently, because damn, that's cold. "Hell with you, lady, give me my tidings of comfort and joy, COMFORT AND JOY, DAMMIT!"

I am looking forward to Cookie Day itself, which may be a two-parter this year, because it involves spending time with Mom and Grandma, and if it's a two-parter, possibly with dlandon, so that should all be good. And I'm looking forward to Santa Lucia, and to Christmas Eve, and to getting people presents, and to really good old carols (not to be confused with Christmas songs, which meh). I always like getting people presents. Were I not from a major gift-giving tradition, I would have to join one, because I think I would burst at the seams if there was no yearly outlet for shoving things at people and going, "there was this thing and it was so cool and it was not much money and we had that much money and then extra money beyond that so here is the cool thing and I got it for you and it has brightly colored paper on it here."

I am even very happy with the prospect of Christmas wrapping paper. (This year: red and silver.) I love Christmas wrapping paper. I just...wanted to warn those of you who enjoy getting Christmas cards that the spirit of Christmas is maybe moving me to sing an extra chorus of Noel Nouvellet and let a lot of the cards go by the wayside. And it's not you. Unless you're one of the people I was being oblique about. In which case it is you, and well, should've thought of that sooner, shouldn't you. But really, statistically, probably not.

Comments

[juliansinger.livejournal.com]

CVS (the drugstore) had Christmas music playing /before Halloween/. I sent them a stiff letter.

If you're the President, then people get to tell you, "Christmas cards no matter what." Otherwise, hey-ull no.

[txanne.livejournal.com]

Your "there was this thing" thing is very, very true.

How old is Rob, BTW, and what are you getting him? I need a cool thing for my just-turned-9 nephew.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

I do enjoy getting cards, but it tends to be more in the sense of "hey, so-and-so sent us a card this year, how nice!" than "everybody must send me cards dammit" which is fortunate, because life being the way it is so many of them don't for one reason or another. It is definitely better to have happier and less-stressed friends than lots of cards, and also, if everyone did send cards to everyone else, I suppose it would mean less when you did get one. However you celebrate, I hope all of your holidays are full of joy and light.

[reveritas.livejournal.com]

Eeeeven if you don't send me a Christmas card, I'll send you a Christmas card, even though I think I misplaced your birthday this year.

[zalena.livejournal.com]

I am thrilled to finally have some good news to send this year (I seem to have lost my job each Xmas for the last few years running), but I also have a rather large number of folks who have disappointed me this year. It is definitely impacting my preparations for Xmas and making some of the tasks a little less pleasant.

[redbird]

It seems to me that making lists of what cookies you're going to bake, or buying cards, is fine to do in November, or even September (there is, in fact, nothing wrong with buying cards in January to send at the end of the year). Doing that doesn't affect other people: the store I bought pine nuts in last week doesn't know, or care, that they're for a Thanksgiving dish rather than Christmas cookies, it was just "and a quarter pound of the Spanish pine nuts, please" and they stock them year-round. What's problematic is turning the lights on so soon (though I am more comfortable with "let's just wrap these trees in blue lights now that their leaves have all fallen" than with decorated plastic trees being put up so soon).

I also did not appreciate Christmas music while I was clothes shopping last week.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Rob is 8, and I got him an awesome thing your nephew might like, but I want it to surprise his parents, too. E-mail me if you're interested in a link. (This goes for non-Anne entities also.)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

For years I have been sending far more cards than I've been receiving, and I don't keep score on that kind of thing. As long as I enjoy doing it and want to make people smile when they get the mail, that's a win condition.

I'm not sure it would mean less if I got them from everyone we care about, though. I think sometimes we have a cultural fallacy that everything becomes meaningless if universal, and I think only many things do. There's a line in a song by a singer I really like, Antje Duvekot, where she says, "The truth would be worthless if no one ever lied," and I absolutely disagree with that. The truth is one of those things that has its own worth. Perhaps someone you haven't known for very long looking at you and saying, "I trust your word," would be worthless if no one ever lied. This is very, very, very different.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

There is also a certain degree of up-and-down to what I have for writing in Christmas cards regarding my health and its treatment and like that. Rather than trying to explain it all in the cards I do send, I may resort to, "And all the best in the new year love Mris." But that creates further distance in some ways. I don't know. We'll see.

[zalena.livejournal.com]

I would assume that people who know you understand that... but it's also true that the way people handle one's ups and downs makes a big impact on the quality and closeness of the friendship.

One of my biggest surprises now that I'm fully employed, again. (It's not like I wasn't working before!) Is that people started treating me different. In a lot of cases the fact that I had less time to spend with people made me less included. I am also not as free to do things for people, like dog/child care, running errands, hanging at odd times of day, etc. I hadn't realized this would make such a significant impact on many of my friendships.

That being said, I hope you know that I am not expecting any holiday greetings. Reading your journal is enough. And I'm so glad the ups & downs of your health situation have not prevented you from sharing about the books you read. I look forward to your book posts every month.

[casacorona.livejournal.com]

All the big stores around here decided it was Xmas* two weeks ago. I just about fell over in revulsion when I entered the grocery store and was accosted by the sight of a decorated artificial tree, and Christmas carols on the loud speakers. I couldn't turn around and leave, but I did remark, at the check out, that they seemed to be skipping right over Thanksgiving this year. The woman ringing me up just grimaced.

*I say "Xmas", since they are celebrating the Holiday Shopping Season, not a religious observance.

I don't need a card but

[papersky.livejournal.com]

Are you going to ring Otto this year?

Re: I don't need a card but

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

No, I am going off in person to the Ukrainian deli to buy wondrous things in the Hungarian, Ukrainian, and Czech line! I may write about it, if it is as good as ringing Otto. We'll see. Next time you come, if you want Ukrainian food, we can arrange for this thing to happen. They have a cafeteria next to the deli. More than one kind of gulyas, little cakes that look so good until you realize how much real food they give you with your very very cheap meal, leaving no room for little cakes. Sometime I will go there for just the little cakes.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Yes, we've had that creeping Xmas crud here also. I was waiting for my prescription at Walgreen's and found myself face-to-face with an aisle of plastic stockings for the dog, while the loudspeakers played, "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas." And I thought, "If it is, it's not my fault."

Even half the available dog treats will be stale if you buy them in mid-November and give them at Christmas, much less human treats. I can't think what they're thinking. Well--they're thinking they can't make much money off Thanksgiving, obviously.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[ckd]

I am absolutely determined that you should not send me a card unless it is fun for you to do so.

[umadoshi.livejournal.com]

There are some stores here in eastern Canada that seem to feel the day after Hallowe'en is an acceptable launching point. (I suppose I should be grateful that they don't start after Canadian Thanksgiving, but then they'd have to take down the Hallowe'en stuff they've had up since the beginning of September. >.<) It's horrible. And I like Christmas!

[mycroftw.livejournal.com]

Be grateful that you are not up north of 49: we don't have a Shopping Holiday in November, so Christmas starts November 1. I spend most of November with headphones on.

But I do disagree with you slightly - not Thanksgiving, Advent 1. It happens to be almost the same this year, which helps. Grumble. Stores are one thing, but the "Keep the Christ in Christmas" people doing anything before Advent 1 really bother me.

[truepenny.livejournal.com]

I know people who feel that Christmas cards are OWED to them, and if a person does not send them a Christmas card, it must be because she was too busy foreclosing on widows and orphans and baby red pandas. I am not one of those people.

Do what's right for you to make the celebration meaningful.

[genarti]

I don't mind Christmas lights being lit early in northern climes. Around New England they do it too, especially in the rural areas, and with the speed of sunset in the winter I think it makes perfect sense to give your house a little extra light.

However, I definitely draw a distinction between white lights around the eaves and lit-up reindeer on the roof or lawn. The former is acceptable at any point after autumn's set in properly; the latter is definitely for post-Thanksgiving, at least for being lit and visible. The Christmas season is after Thanksgiving, thank you.

[finnyb.livejournal.com]

Same in Western Canada. Though I did find a few who were starting before Canadian Thanksgiving--Carlton Cards was putting stuff out at the end of September, for example.

Re: I don't need a card but

[miz-hatbox.livejournal.com]

I was just wondering this very thing.

[miz-hatbox.livejournal.com]

I am very bad at sending out holiday cards. So even if I were on your card list, I would not feel I had any right to be offended if I didn't receive a card from you.

Now, Mirth has relatives who have gone out of their way to make it Not Fun for him, and so he doesn't like to do it and he acts all disapproving. Oh, he plays their game: He sends them each a carefully chosen store-bought card from himself and a separate one from La Jeune Hatbox, because otherwise there will be heck to pay. But the exercise has no comfort or joy in it.

I did cards for a while, and as you say, I sent way more than I received. Which I didn't mind at all. The year we moved house I must have forgotten to mail them (talk about wasted effort) because the next July I found them, sealed and addressed, but unstamped. Oops! Either nobody really cared or else they were too polite to say.

I think I started skipping them on purpose the year that my dad died. I was just too sad. And still, no drama. And then the year after that, Mirth had heart surgery and we skipped cards--too distracted. And yet so much more relaxed because I didn't have to deal with cards.

So I dropped the habit and never looked back. As for the people to whom I would have sent cards? Most of them are on Facebook. If I want to send tidings of comfort and joy I do it electronically and I hear back from them far more reliably.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

This is good; I hear a lot of people saying, "If I want to contact so-and-so, I can do it electronically," and then not doing it. Or putting up a picture of holly on their Facebook and calling it good, which to me is not very useful for contacting any one person. If I happen to be on FB and see that someone has posted a picture of a snowman, I do not think, "That must be because they want to hear what's going on in my life!" and then oblige them. But a friend actually contacting me electronically is of course lovely.