Two things, one of them sad

[mrissa]

1. Where are all my parsimonious friends saying, "Are you mad, woman? That much money for a dress?" There are problems with having women friends beyond what I ever suspected. Not that the friendslist men seem to be shouting down the dress I mentioned in the previous entry either.

2. One of my cousins died today, suddenly and unexpectedly. They're still not sure what he died of. Kenny was only in his early/mid 40s, and his youngest daughter is not yet through high school. This is someone I saw about once a month up until I left for college. He was always one of my favorite cousins (well, cousins-in-law, really). He was larger than life, wry and funny, a born story-teller. We had lots of in-joke references to stories Ken had told, because they were worth remembering, not just interesting but also evocative of the people involved.

Dammit anyway.

The past tense is even harder to get a grasp on than usual for a death, here.

Comments

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

One time I didn't buy a reversible gorgeous silk dress because it cost $200. That was (pauses to do math) about 1995. I still regret it. I'd probably still be wearing it.

Your friendlist men (the straight ones, at least) may still be collecting their jawbones after having pictured you in the dress.

Very sorry about your cousin. That really sucks.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[apis-mellifera.livejournal.com]

My condolences about your cousin. It's a sad and tragic thing.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It is. I'm still waiting for news on what, exactly, happened; not that it'll help. All anyone knew last I heard is that he came home for lunch feeling crappy, his wife (who is a nurse) took him to the hospital, and he died before she found out what was going on.

[jenett]

With dicrhoic on this one: there's nothing wrong with paying for quality, for a color you obviously adore and which will continue to be suitable a long time into the future.

It's paying high prices for stuff that's wearable once or twice, or is in a color that you only sorta maybe like (or style, ditto) that's worth discouraging.

Much sympathy on your cousin, and for his daughter in particular (having been there, though not the sudden death part)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

And you're right; I hate the floundering.

The important point

[gaaldine.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry, dear. Are you doing okay, or as okay as you can?

Re: The important point

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

As okay as I can, yes.

[gaaldine.livejournal.com]

I'll talk you out of buying the dress, if you like. *grin*

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I don't actually want anybody to talk me out of it. I was just a little surprised that opinion ran that strongly to the "ooh, pretty" side.

[valancy.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. :(

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

1. I think I generally qualify as parsimonious (the most I've spent on a dress within the past ten years has been $30), but I also strongly believe that the only people with any right to question your sanity are those who share your bank account. (Granted, you invited comment, but still, opining on what people choose to spend on x or y is still one of those lines I'm reluctant to cross. (Excepting celebrities who feel life would be unsupportable on less than $50,000 per day, but that's a different kettle of shekels.))

1a. As long as income outpaces expense, one's partners still do not get say-so on one's choices unless their opinions are sufficiently trustworthy and/or entertaining.

1b. I've certainly spent more than $30 on travel, meals, books, and shoes. At this point, I think I *might* spend over $100 for a decent pair of sandals were they to convince me I could get 200 wearings out of them (and that rumble in the distance would be all of my ancestors triple-spinning in their graves).

2. Bummer. Dammit. People we like need to stop dying already. Sympathies.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I think any rate is too high a rate to be losing the good ones. Heaven knows this rate certainly is.

[alecaustin.livejournal.com]

Re: 1), This male friend makes a point of not trying to argue people out of decisions unless they seem likely to cause serious damage to themselves or others.

Re: 2), I'm very sorry to hear that. Hang in there.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

1) Just so, dear. If you have ever had any opinion on any garment of mine, I certainly don't know of either opinion or which garment. [sweeping generality] This is why men friends are safe and women friends are dangerous. [/sweeping generality]

You are perfectly well allowed to be dangerous in other directions, of course.

2) Thanks.

[blzblack.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear, M'ris. My condolances.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[miz-hatbox.livejournal.com]

(reposted because I mistyped.)

My condolences on the loss of your cousin. He sounds like he was a very special person. My heart goes out to your family.

[ckd]

1. Well, for some of the men "arguing M'ris out of that dress" might have, er, other meanings.

2. My condolences and sympathy; Ken sounds like someone I would have enjoyed knowing, just from your description. Also, what gaaldine said...take care of yourself as best you can.

[jackiejj.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Marissa.

[palinade.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about the cousin.

[ksumnersmith.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, M'ris. That it's so unexpected makes it that much worse. Please let me know if there's anything I can do, okay?

[ellarien]

1. I'm not going to discourage you from buying the dress, either.

2. I'm sorry for your loss.

[ladysea.livejournal.com]

I am sorry for your loss. *hugs*

[ladysea.livejournal.com]

Ok...the dress.

It is a style that can be worn alot. It is pretty. You would look stunning in it. It is work the price.

If you were going to wear it once, and hide it in your closet...then I would be all "OMG...that much for a one time dress!!!!"

I have a dress I paid almost as much for, that I wear like once every 18 months. Love it. It was worth it. Now I just need more occasions to wear a black, long, fuzzy soft dressy dress.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry to hear about your cousin.

[songwind.livejournal.com]

*hug hugs* I'm very sorry to hear about your cousin. If you need help in the staying occupied line of things, be sure to let us know.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thanks. In addition to being thoughtful, that made me smile: if there's one thing I can nearly always do, it's stay occupied. But sometimes I appreciate outside help anyway.

[dsgood.livejournal.com]

My condolences.

So long as you don't borrow my clothes without asking, and you don't spend enough to be facing bankruptcy, I'm not going to worry about what you wear.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

"Think before you say these things, Mitch. Twenty points higher than me? Thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes?"

It's all about "Real Genius," even when it isn't.

[pameladean]

I'm so very sorry about your cousin; what an awful shock for his family. *hug*

P.

[velleity-d.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry about your cousin, M'ris.

[astromachy.livejournal.com]

My condolences to you and your family.

[deva-fagan.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry for your loss, and for your cousin's family.

Regarding the dress- one thing that you might also consider is the value of your own time; if it takes you ten hours to find a different dress with a cheaper tag price, the violet dress would likely still be the better deal, considering how much your time is worth (both literally and figuratively).