Two vulgar things about my dog

[mrissa]

1. Anyone who is looking at getting a small, rather elegant-looking breed of dog: do not expect small, rather elegant-smelling dog-farts. Luckily, I already knew this from my previous dog, who would blame the rest of the family whenever she could. She would give the nearest human a look that said, "Well, really!" as plain as day, and she would get up and move somewhere else. On a particularly bad night, she would run through the whole family this way.

2. For the second time, my dog has sniffed around until she found a gopher hole, then deliberately scooted her little butt around to shit directly down it. This seems to be mostly a morning thing: good morning, gophers! Here's what you get for living in Ista's yard! It is not a good week to be a gopher.

I hope this doesn't mean she's a UMD fan. Or worse, North Dakota.

Comments

[merriehaskell.livejournal.com]

Dang, there went my morning tea all over the keyboard.

*g*

[ellameena.livejournal.com]

*laughlaughlaugh* Down the gopher hole?? Does she think the gophers specially dug her a latrine? That is hilarious!

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

She dislikes the gophers and barks and growls down their holes at other times. They need to know that the Big Tough Poodle is boss!

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

She gets extremely smug about it.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Err. About the gopher holes, that is; she's more surprised by the farting than impressed with herself.

[writingortyping.livejournal.com]

The first time Toshie ever did an audible fart (in front of us, at least), he got rather startled and looked at his butt.

The remembrance of that moment can still make John laugh until he cries.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Yes, Ista went looking for hers the first time she farted here. She investigated her butt like, "What was that? Who did that?" Looked up at me: "Do you know who did that?"

Silly doglet.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

My mother's cat prefers the holes dug by armadillos rootling around the house during the night.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

i have frequent conversations with pirate about how does such a large smell come from such a small dog. ah, well.

[sienamystic.livejournal.com]

Dog farts are bad - my sister swears that our labrador is infested by a pernicious breed of demon known as the Butt Imps, who constantly shovel coal to ensure a steady supply of noxious gas.

But then, there are also cat farts, which are usually of the Silent But Deadly variety, and which frequently occur when the cat is standing on your chest with her ass in your face.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

That's just too funny! The Reverend Selena does the fart thing. She'll get all purry and relaxed, and suddenly, Poof! Then she gives the nearest human an indignant look (because, of course, it is always the human's fault) and stalks away.

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

Trust me when I say that while there may not be any such thing as small elegant dog farts, you do suffer mightly when you go up in size. The mastiff could clear the room, and the rottie's no slouch either. We used to threaten to make them eat activated charcoal--perhaps that's why there's a charcoal flavored dog biscut? Of course, as I typed that, I remembered the rottie used to steal coals out of the fire to eat when we burned lawn waste (They were *hot*, so she could only carry it a couple of feet, and then she'd drop it, and pick it up again, carefully, and carry it a couple more feet...once it was suitably cool, though, she would crunch it right up and come back for more. My dogs should never be used as examples of normal.)

In a story that's only related to the topic along the bodily function humor line, there's a story of my cousin's baby at about 18 months or so. He farted without really realising what he'd done. So when he smells something foul he looks up and says, all excited, "Daddy home!"

[copperwise.livejournal.com]

And then there's our golden retriever. Magick farts, looks at his butt in surprise, and then does the happy doggie "look mom I just did something am I a good dog am I am I am I because I did something just now do I get pets do you love me do you do you do you?"

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

Story now up at the Onion: New Puppy Teaches Congress Important Lesson About Responsibility (http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4129&n=0&ref=myy).

Thank you

[one-undone.livejournal.com]

for making me cackle (and choke my head off) so early in the morning. It's nice to wake up and laugh instead of being bummed out. Those poor gophers! I feel kinda bad for the little fellas.

I don't think any farts can be described as "elegant-smelling" so I wouldn't have been too shocked. :)