Not For Your Benefit

[mrissa]

1. When I take my dog for a walk, it is not to improve the scenery on your drive. I'm glad you feel that I am an asset in this regard, but if you could keep your all extremities inside the car and refrain from shouting or honking, it would improve my walk. Yesterday I was wearing a little bitty cotton dress, so your behavior, while rude, at least parsed for me. Today: mid-thigh jean shorts and a plain-colored T-shirt. Get a life. (Different cars and drivers each day, alas. Or perhaps thankfully, as I would prefer not to have a stalker while walking my ferocious attack poodle.)

2. When I take my dog for a walk, it is not to improve your child's animal socialization skills. If you have a 12-to-15-month-old who has just awakened from a nap and is spooked and crying at the very existence of a tail-wagging puppy, trying to shove the child's hand in front of my dog while the child wails is not a good idea. If the kid panics, he/she may flail and hit my dog, who will then learn that monkey puppies hurt. This is not the lesson we are trying to teach. If your kid doesn't want to touch the dog, do not try to make him/her. Demonstrate the niceness of the puppy, if you must, by asking my permission, then presenting your own hand to be licked and gently petting the pup, talking in a calm voice about her pretty eyes and soft fur. If this does not convince the squallie, shrug and move on. My dog is not an object lesson but a dog.

Comments

[deannahoak.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I get a little tired of the wolf whistles and such, too. People use them even when I'm dressed like crap and pushing the baby stroller.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

It is because Our Natural Beauty Shines Through and they are Not Shallow Enough To Fixate On Clothes.

Also because they are jerks.

[stillsostrange.livejournal.com]

Their primitive brain recognizes that you would be a good mate and mother.

Also, they're jerks.

[mkille.livejournal.com]

Since you're with the baby stroller, I would guess they're voicing their appreciation of your ability to care for someone whose level of social graces is roughly equal to their own. But I wouldn't want to underestimate your baby's social graces.

[deannahoak.livejournal.com]

:-D That's good....

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

I once got whistled at from the second story of a construction site in the dead of winter. While wearing a fedora and a puffy jacket and work boots. I'm not even sure how he could tell I was female.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

I wonder if those are the 12-to-15-month-olds that then grow up into 3-to-6-year-olds that rush at strange dogs on the street going "Doggie doggie doggie!" ::crash::

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Or shriek like fire engines and scare my dog. One or the other.

[spaceoperadiva.livejournal.com]

When I'm tromping down the street in a fifteen year old tee shirt and baggy shorts, greasy hair and two rowdy haven't been out of the yard enough this week doggies, that's *definitely* the time I most appreciate the wolf whistles and lewd suggestions. Really I exist only to amuse passersby. I'd get a "Not for rent or sale" tee, but I'm figuring they'd miss the NOT part.

[adrian-turtle.livejournal.com]

>When I take my dog for a walk, it is not to improve your child's animal socialization skills.

Oh yeah? I've been known to walk a little girl in the local dog park, as a treat.
Toddler: Doggie! Doggie! Doggie! Doggie!
Adrian: Quiet voices. Gentle touches. We don't scare the nice doggie.
Toddler: Doggie! Doggie!
Adrian pulling toddler's arm: We *ask* before we touch.

The big preschool girl has recently discovered dignity and thinks she might prefer cats. Or maybe horses. Or dragons. The little one still falls all over herself, squealing with puppy glee.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I don't mind sometimes having the effect of improving the animal socialization skills of people of many ages. But it is not my primary goal, to be sure.

Ista likes kids. She gets frustrated when there are no kids at the playground. She thinks strollers are the best thing in the world (because they combine kids and wheels, which are two of the neatest things ever). I just want to keep it that way, is all.

[ellameena.livejournal.com]

You didn't by chance bring your boobs on this walk. If you did, it's all your fault, of course. Those people couldn't restrain their whistles. You should have known better!

Funny I've never had *that* particular problem with toddlers. I think anyone that clueless as to shove a toddler in the face of a poodle pup is clueless enough to assume that all small and cute dogs are nice, and all big tough dogs are mean, and therefore instead of bringing their toddler over were actually on their cell phones dialing 911.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I always forget to leave the boobs home. Mind like a sieve, I guess.

And the thing is, Ista is a nice pup. She doesn't snap at people who try to get in her face -- she just scrambles backwards or licks them politely if she must. But if idiot people push their babies too hard, she'll learn that this is not defensive enough behavior.

I should also not be judgmental based on the fact that the 12-to-18-month-old in question had a bottle full of soda in 93-degree heat. But I'm failing miserably on that count.

[ellameena.livejournal.com]

Yikes! I've had mine on all day.

That sounds like a good object of nonjudgmental meditation. I'm going to work on it with you. Ommmm...gee, that one is SO hard.

You know, the other day in the park, I watched a group of children supervised by one woman. The woman was *doing* all the right things, she was watching for injuries or dangerous behavior, she was solicitous of the baby and preschoolers. But her every WORD screamed of a certain social class which one does not normally associate with good parenting. Anyway, it was during this play period that I witnessed a six-year old girl giving an older boy (her brother???) what appeared to be a lap dance, with very accomplished rapid booty shaking and thrusting hip gyrations. The babysitter either didn't notice or didn't care, and also overlooked the completely obscene rap lyrics the boy was singing (that his "sister" was dancing to). When they left, the children cheerfully and obediently jumped up and followed. I never saw them misbehave or hurt each other, and they played nicely with Glen. One of the smallest kids, who was 3.5 years old, rode his own two-wheeled bicycle, with NO training wheels. When the babysitter saw he'd left it on the playground, she yelled "Get your FUCKING bicycle!"

So that's what I'm working on being nonjudgmental about. I'm afraid I'm not up to it.

And THEN, and THEN, a different family came to the park. The mom was one of those ultra perfect soft spoken ladies who never raises her voice. She brought an elaborate snack and said grace for the children before they ate, and praised them heartily for taking big bites of their sandwich. And I ended up feeling like I'd rather have a play date with the OTHER kids, the ones with the mouths... Oy.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

When we lived in California, we had neighbors who swore casually at their children. It was never, "Dinnertime!" It was, "Get in the damn house!" Not the third time, not when the kids were an hour late and had been off playing somewhere they didn't belong. From the get-go. It didn't even sound that angry. Just automatic. It was like they were beavers or something and lived in the dam house and shut the dam door and set the dam table. (Only the vocabulary was somewhat more varied than just "damn.") It baffled me.

I'm not sure if it's social class, because one of my great-aunts was like this and her sisters were not. I suppose they could have moved into different social classes as adults. I don't know. Anyway, it's odd.

Grace before snacks. That was one of the things my dad got asked as a pastor's kid, and he considered it a ridiculous question. Goodness.