More from the front lines of Sampo revisions

[mrissa]

I think there is a place in the world for dialog tags like, "he said stiffly, reaching for his trousers." I just think it should be, y'know, on purpose. With an author aware of doing it.

This is what revisions are for, I suppose.

My favorite line today: "I don't think we took an oath against relativity," said Orvokki. Mainly that's just because I like Orvokki, though.

jmeadows was talking about openings today, and I don't have the opening of Sampo reworked to my satisfaction yet, but I like the beginning of Thermionic Night very much now, because it starts:
Edward Holliwell was not really a spy.

See? Like that.