Cell phone woes

Dear Person Called Vlad:

You have given your friends the wrong phone number! They are leaving overseas-toll messages in languages I do not understand! Please stop them! When I have the cell phone with me, at least I can explain to them that I am not you (do I sound like someone called Vlad?), but the messages in my voicemail are rather alarming. Cease! Desist! Check your records!

Love,
mrissa

PS If you are that Person Called Vlad, I think I know what number you want for whatever information you're trying to convey, but you'll have to call me yourself.

Clothes. Again. Sigh.

( The clothing thing again, with partial success and short digressions into cultural attitudes about body image and discussion thereof, convention-going, and sundry other topics )