Also there is a part of my brain that is exactly the kind of snarky John Cusack does so well.

People like me ought not to be permitted to be on Facebook.

And by "people like me," I mean "people who have seen Grosse Pointe Blank several times."

On the up side, it's extremely entertaining to have my subconscious figuring out all the different ways my former classmates' bios add up to them being contract killers.