Con Care and Feeding of the Mris

[mrissa]

If you see me at World Fantasy Con, here are some good things to remember:

1) "Have you eaten lately?" is always, always, always a reasonable question to ask me at a con. I'm doing better than I did at my first cons, where I invariably gave myself crashing headaches and sometimes made myself dizzy losing track of time and/or trying to stretch things "just one more reading/panel/conversation." But still, it never hurts to ask, and it sometimes helps. Also, I am a morning person, so if you're meeting up with people for breakfast, hey, I'm people.

2) I will have bars. If there are any left by the time you find me, you may have one. Unless there's only one left and sosostris2012 hasn't had any yet, in which case it will be the Reserved Bar. I may try to press bars upon you, although I will try to remember if you've said you have a gluten allergy or are eating low-carb or something like that, so I can refrain from tormenting you.

3) If I have a thicker Minnesota accent than you expected, I am probably uncomfortable in some way. Nervous and tired are the best bets. The exception is the sentence, "Have a bar," which is permanently Minnesotan. Also, I say "yah" more often than "yeah" or "yes." Do not be alarmed by the yah.

I am not actually an extrovert. I just play one at cons. Being around new people and/or lots of people makes me nervous and takes energy. It is nothing personal, I promise.

4) If you startle me, I will become terse and reticent while dealing with whatever startling thing you just said. This does not mean I don't like you.

5) I have never once bitten someone's head off for recognizing me from online at a con. If I've never seen you before and you see me, come say hi. This applies particularly if you don't have a picture for an lj icon. I will be squinting at people's badges, but if your username is not related to your actual name, this may not help. Just say hi, tell me who you are. I'm friendly. (I mean, I'll have bars; how much friendlier does it get?)

Maybe this will be the con where nobody new recognizes me from my backside. I doubt it, though; it's never happened before.

Comments

[deannahoak.livejournal.com]

I am not actually an extrovert. I just play one at cons. Being around new people and/or lots of people makes me nervous and takes energy. It is nothing personal, I promise.

This sentence describes me so perfectly. :-)

I'm looking forward to meeting you there!

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Heh. I apologize for being startled by the 'yah' at Worldcon last year!

This is not actually con-related, but something I was wondering--but maybe con-related, in the sense that being around Mrissas at cons is being around Mrissas.

If one knows that someone is sensitive to smells, should one generally try to avoid wearing/having smelly things around that person?

I'm guessing that nasty-smelling things are as right out as around any person at all, but all the perfume-y stuff running around LJ land these days made me wonder about the rest.

[stillsostrange.livejournal.com]

I second the smelly question. I would be sad if my perfume caused you to pass out/make faces/run away fast.

[songwind.livejournal.com]

I wasn't aware you had a internationally recognized heiny. I learn something new every day.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

Maybe this will be the con where nobody new recognizes me from my backside. I doubt it, though; it's never happened before.

This sounds like a comment with a story or stories to it, which I should be interested to hear at some point. I suspect I would likely recognise you from behind, but it would be by the hair.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Actually that's how other people claim they would, too.

I don't really get it. I have long brown hair -- like every fourth female fan in the history of fandom.

But several people at WorldCon called my name only having seen me from behind.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

So did I, those days!

I was thinking of making it my lj icon for awhile, since it was clearly my "good side."

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I'm looking forward to it, too!

[dsgood.livejournal.com]

My accent, on the other hand, is likely to become thicker when I'm comfortable.

Note: My accent is the same as Rod Serling's -- though for various reasons, we don't sound much alike.

[songwind.livejournal.com]

Don't be fooled, all your sides are nice.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Umm. Yes, nasty-smelling things are right out, but honestly, don't change your smell for me. You will smell like something to me, and it might as well be the something(s) you'd otherwise want to smell like.

Please don't stick a wrist of BPAL (or other perfume) in my face without a direct request, but I assume you wouldn't do that anyway. (The dysosmia seems to work at approximately the same strength of smell as the real smell would, so if I get a really strong smell up close and it goes wrong on me, it will go wrong really strongly.)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

As I just told buymeaclue, but I don't know if you monitor posts, go ahead and wear what you would usually wear around me. You will likely smell like something to me, and it might as well be your normal something(s) as anything else. I appreciate the question, though.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I do appreciate you asking.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks!

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Cool. I'm not planning on being any smellier than normal--just wanted to check. Thanks!

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

I don't really get it. I have long brown hair -- like every fourth female fan in the history of fandom.

Possibly it's one of those things where discriminants depend on what your grew up with - in the same way as, frex, the mother of one of my team members, who basically lived her entire life in a part of China where one never saw anyone with hair of a colour other than black, just did not parse hair colour as a discriminant or descriptor at all. I'm used to being surrounded by people with hair in shades of brown, and I suspect I distinguish various shades within that more than many people. [ Though mind you, if the photos I've seen of you have a consistent skew to making you hair look darker or lighter than it in fact is, this will be no use to me at all. ]

But several people at WorldCon called my name only having seen me from behind.

I think your idea about a userpic selected thereby has some merit to it.

[chance88088.livejournal.com]

I'm not planning on being any smellier than normal

*snerk*

[skylarker.livejournal.com]

I look forward to actually meeting you! And now I'm wondering if maybe I should bring bars, too. It sounds like a good way to meet people. Much friendlier than carrot sticks, which was my other thought.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, the carrot sticks have potential as dueling weapons.

[dendrophilous.livejournal.com]

I might pretend to be an extrovert. It seems like a better way to meet people than wandering around being noninteractive.

On the other hand, vacations are for returning to my preferred state after all the forced extroversion required by my daily life.

Either way I will be playing "do I recognize that person from online."

[songwind.livejournal.com]

Those must be AWFULLY big carrots.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Carrot sticks are actually good for people, though, so maybe you have the right of it.

(But banana bars have fruit in them, so they must be healthy, right?)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I will have a badge with my lj name and old default icon on (the one shown here), attached to my con badge.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

This is true; hardly anyone could mistake my long brown hair for careswen's or lydy's.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

While I adore you and lydy both, no, I would never mistake either of you lady's long brown hair for careswen's.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

I am not actually an extrovert. I just play one at cons. Being around new people and/or lots of people makes me nervous and takes energy. It is nothing personal, I promise.

Wait, that's my line too!

[skylarker.livejournal.com]

Maybe I can put fudge balls on the ends of the carrot sticks, then they'll be both healthy and addictive.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Err. Umm. Carrot fudge.

Well, that's different.

[adrian-turtle.livejournal.com]

>If one knows that someone is sensitive to smells, should one generally try to avoid wearing/having smelly things around that person?

In general, it is courteous to avoid wearing strong perfumes in any kind of public space. This is not Mris-specific, but becomes more important for spaces with more people in them, so long as you don't know all the people in the space are NOT going to react badly to whatever scented-stuff appeals to you.

[oracne.livejournal.com]

[sigh] It's nice to know all this, even though I'm skipping WF. Maybe eventually I will meet you...

[callunav.livejournal.com]

Well, that's different.

Folks, it doesn't get more Minnesotan than this.

Mrissa, I went to about three cons and stopped (with the exception of teensy Readercon this spring) because I discovered that I wasn't actually enjoying myself - but this post made me intensely want to be at World Fantasy Con - not *only* to meet you, but that was probably the biggest component.

Have fun.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. Definitely. I've been on the wrong end of that more than once myself. And I don't usually have to worry about it because I don't (usually) wear smelly stuff of any kind.

Which is why it didn't occur to me to ask until my friendslist became all crowded with smelly-stuff posts.

But, point taken, for sure.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Or awfully determined duelists!

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

One of my favorite parts of cons is that "oh, wait, you're _you_" moment when you realize that you actually know-from-blogs the nice stranger you've been chatting with for twenty minutes.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thanks^3!

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I have been known to blurt, "Oh, you're my friend!" at people. Then I feel about 5 years old.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I intend to live a good while longer and attend several cons along the way.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Will you be at Marscon in Minneapolis, perchance?

I'm more likely to make it to that one.

[dendrophilous.livejournal.com]

If I remember I'll have a lj name sticker. No icon though.

But you'll recognize me. I have long brown hair.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Hee.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I hadn't been planning on it. From the Guests of Honor list, it looks more media and less literary than I tend to enjoy. I've gone to Minicon the last two years and incline towards returning indefinitely.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Minicon, eh? I shall give it consideration. Meeting a Mrissa sounds like fun!

Marscon...I see your point, but it has Dean Haglund! He's lots of fun, lemme tell you.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

The world is packed full of fun people at cons. Sometimes practicality limits how many of them we can enjoy.

[talltree6.livejournal.com]

Ooooo, bars! I miss bars! And hotdishes, and salad (greeb jello with some grated carrot or somesuch in it). And potlucks, where you will find the table crammed with all of the above.

Sigh.

Can you tell that I grew up near Minnesota? Two blocks away, in fact, on the other side of the Red River. Of course, there were some springs that Minnesota was only 1/2 block away, due to the flooding, but that's another story....

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Upper Midwestern delicacies! There's nothing quite like 'em. I'll bet you don't miss having to sandbag the front yard, though....

In my high school, "sandbagging" was the term for taking easy classes to inflate one's GPA. After having sandbagged down by the Minnesota River in '97, I have no idea why. That's hard work! Those things are heavy!