Religious and sartorial

[mrissa]

I hope those of you who are celebrating Passover have a good one. My own religious observances have gone almost entirely non-traditional this year: Maundy Thursday will involve sharing a meal with friends, but likely not bread, and possibly not wine, either, depending on what they have at Cambodian restaurants. (Insert Haugean rant about beer and Twinkies here.) Good Friday has been eaten whole by Minicon. markgritter and I will go to church Easter morning, but then I'll go back up to the con. Probably no Easter Dinner per se -- no guests, no plans to go anywhere, and no intentions of roasting some large hunk of meat whole. No Easter Egg Hunt -- I mean, I could hide treats for missista, but I don't think she'd really get what it had to do with Jesus. (Umm. Now that I bring it up....) I will probably listen to "Jesus Christ Superstar" today, tomorrow, or Friday morning, though, so that's a pretty important observance for me, and one it's easy not to miss. (This is where the whole "devout but not orthodox" thing comes in.) At worst, I can listen to it on my way to the con hotel.

I spent a chunk of this time of year explaining to half the people in my life that, yes, they knew it was Easter, that's why they scheduled the convention then (so that people would have time off), and then turning around and explaining to the other half that, yes, it actually is a religious holiday for me, not just for my relatives.

We are in that time-honored stage of pre-con time, the "ack! what do I wear?" stage. The weather appears cooperative enough, because I don't want to wear wintry things. What I really want is for cpolk to be my fairy godmother and wave her wand over her patterns and come out with a beautiful blue sundress and maybe a green A-line skirt and maybe (if I had been working really hard in the ashes) something full-skirted and red. Also, while you're at it, the sparkly unicorn that shoots rainbows out its horn and...wait, this phrasing is where I got myself into trouble before. It does not help that I would prefer not to wear jeans and a T-shirt to the Thursday dinner we've just added to the agenda. I think this is a "when in doubt, look at the jewelry" situation. Hmmmmm.

Comments

[mkille.livejournal.com]

If you put enough pieces of jewelry together, you'd probably be in compliance with public decency laws.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

The weather is not that cooperative.

[mkille.livejournal.com]

In a pinch, you could unhook some of the jewelry and trade it to a nearby person for a warm enough outer garment?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I'm keeping my jewelry! Warm outer garments, I have.

(People, this is what happens to young men who go to Christian seminaries. Mamas don't let your babies etc. etc.)

[mkille.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and while in seminary I learned, "let she who is without sin put on the first outer garment." At least, I'm pretty sure that's how it goes...

[mkille.livejournal.com]

I think Scalzi should pay you to wear Ghost Brigades promotional clothing. Then you wouldn't have to pick what you wear, and your con expenses would be covered.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

And, gosh, wouldn't they be stylin'.

I don't mean to kick scalzi when his internet is down; I'm sure Ghost Brigades promotional clothing would be just as fashionable as any other book's promotional clothing. However. The $35 for the con is in the same category as warm outer garments: stuff I already have.

[cadithial.livejournal.com]

It won't matter what you wear, smelly, socially misguided/maladjusted geeks will be drooling over you :)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Umm. Thanks, I think. But the point is the pleasant-smelling, socially decently adjusted geeks I already know or don't know but would like, and wearing things some of them might find interesting. (I use that word in a sexually and socially neutral sense this time around, as in, "Oh, what an interesting printed skirt has! And what interesting earrings!" rather than "What an interesting female, let me ascertain her availability or lack thereof!")

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

That was to be "what an interesting print that skirt has." Sigh.

[cadithial.livejournal.com]

So far as I can tell, everything I've seen you in has looked nice/good. Of course, that could be because you are careful to dress when going out to visit or having company. You can also ask Songwind or Ladysea, I have NO sense of style, and couldn't really bring myself to care overly much :) I believe that your personality sets off whatever you wear. Complete strangers may be attracted by your looks, however, if they talk to you, they'd be stupid to not be attracted to your brains and personality as well. I also suppose that I think of cons more in terms of gaming conventions rather than sci-fi / book conventions.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I think the audience at gaming cons has significant overlap with SF cons but is not identical in interest or behavior. Couldn't tell you for sure, though, since I don't tend to go to gaming cons; I'm just basing this on other people's stories.

Some people, many of them women, are not actually asking for advice when they say, "Arrrrrgh, what do I wear?" They are rhetorically expressing frustration with the options available to them. My dad spent 25 years of marriage trying to make suggestions and having my mom glare at him, and in the 26th year, he started saying things like, "I'm sorry it's so frustrating, sweetie. I wish you were finding better clothes in the stores." And it worked beautifully. So find out which kind of person C. is early!

[laurel]

I'm trying to wash all the clothing of mine I can find (which isn't truly the stuff I'd like to have) and am going to try to cobble a decent outfit or two or three out of it. I wish I knew where my jewelry was. Yikes!

My parents have been resigned to not having me around on Easter for years now. After an awkward number of years where I would be at Minicon for most of the weekend and then try to make it out to Mound for a family meal with them.

I'd usually end up all night in a music party Saturday night, then driving out to Mound in a zombie-like fashion, where I'd fall asleep on the couch after the meal (and I sometimes almost fell asleep during the meal).

I've given up now, though we did try a compromise a few times of meeting for brunch somewhere near the con hotel and that worked better, but still.

We didn't manage a Palm Sunday gathering, but figure we'll do something soon after Minicon.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

My folks will be up here in the Cities next year, so we'll probably try to do something together, either morning or evening. I'm a morning person anyway, so I'm not likely to be joining your pulse checks any time soon, and they'll be much closer than Mound. But we did Palm Sunday this year, and that was fine, too. They've been really good about recognizing that I should do this and not trying to guilt me out of it.

[hilarymoonmurph.livejournal.com]

I agree that it's tough to be a practicing christian in fandom, but fortunately I've found that the community is mostly tolerant of its religious minorities...

I am also going through the "What do I wear?" dilemma. I shall be doing lots of laundry on Thursday in order to get something decent to wear.

I am looking forward to seeing you at the con, gorgeous. I'd like to talk with you in person.

Hmm

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I'll look for you there!

[pariyal.livejournal.com]

That I'm not (actively) in fandom is, in part, exactly because I'm a practicing Christian: I don't have time for it, especially not on weekends. (Also, it would be yet another group that I'd have to fight myself into, and I'm not good at that)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

In addition to strictly required stuff, you seem to be involved in all sorts of optional church activities. I'm glad you enjoy them, but they do make "practicing Christian" a much bigger time commitment than it is for people who don't, for example, sing in the choir. Also I think the fact that you are a parent of kids who are still young enough to be at home takes a fair chunk of your time.

But it doesn't sound like you think fandom is supposed to do something about those choices, right? They're a barrier to entry, but not one fandom has erected by being unfriendly or unwelcoming?

[pariyal.livejournal.com]

No, fandom isn't supposed to do something about it; the parts of it that I've seen haven't been unfriendly about my religion. It's just that (again, what I've seen of it) it seems to be composed of people who all know each other already --who are already a group-- and I feel uncomfortable being treated as The Newbie, I prefer just hanging around and blending in. If anything, fandom has been overly welcoming, drawing unwanted attention to newbieness (not only with me, but a few people I know, too).

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I've heard the former complaint about fandom before, and I've even made the, "ack, I can't keep track of who did what to whom before I was even born!" complaint more than once. And I think it's hard to balance awareness of that problem with letting people find their own way without being too welcoming. It's very easy to fall to one side of that divide or the other, and where the middle even is can vary from person to person, or even within one person on different days.

[ellameena.livejournal.com]

It may be more of a choice for pariyal, but my church requires attendance at three masses throughout Holy Week--Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and there are many optional masses and activities, such as the blessing of Easter foods on Holy Saturday, and stations of the cross on Friday before the Good Friday liturgy, which always happens between 12 noon and 3 PM. By scheduling the convention over Easter weekend, the con planners have excluded all orthodox christians such as Roman Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, etc. They've also excluded everyone who is involved enough in their home parish not to want to be away during an important service (and who are not in the immediate area during the con). And finally, they're excluding a very large number of people for whom Easter weekend is a family-centered holiday, mainly people with children. That last is not specifically a religious problem. But you really don't want to miss the candy orgy, the visits with grandparents, etc.

Of course it's their convention and they can do as they please, and there are certainly other conventions to choose from throughout the year. If I were local, though, I'd consider it kind of a bummer, as it would cut off access to one of the few easy-to-get-to conventions.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

If one was committed to doing both Catholic religious observances and Minicon activities, it would be possible. One might miss events one would otherwise like to see, but there's nothing mandatory at a convention, not even Ask Dr. Mike. It wouldn't even be all that difficult on Easter Sunday for someone who wanted to do both: most churches start their Easter services long, long before programming begins at the con.

The family holiday thing is true for people whose family time does not include conventions. But I know there are several families who celebrate Easter weekend as a family by going to Minicon, too.

The thing is, any timing of a convention is going to exclude somebody. If you have it on a non-holiday weekend, people who can't take time off work will be less likely to be able to make it (or, significantly, to work on the convention). If you have it on a holiday weekend -- even a secular holiday weekend -- there will be people whose families have also wanted to take advantage of that holiday time to spend time together. I don't think there's any perfect time to have a convention. You just have to make a guess at how many of the people who make the thing go are going to be available at which times, and hope for the best.

[ellameena.livejournal.com]

I don't think I could successfully combine my Easter observance with an SF con. The Good Friday liturgy in the middle of the day would make things pretty inconvenient for the whole day. I could probably do some stuff on Saturday, or Sunday, but when I go to a convention, I like to get the full package, rather than a smattering here and there. More than that, it's a time when I just don't want to split my attention. That's a choice the con-runners have to make. By choosing Easter weekend, they will make the con more accessible and convenient for some fans, but less for many others. I suppose if the former outnumber the latter, that could be a valid choice. I don't know of any conventions that happen on Christmas or Christmas Eve, even though the same rule applies with regard to time off from work. Seems like the difference is that this holiday is not important to the folks who made the decision. I don't mean to be persnickety. It's not like I'm affected, and I'm sure those who are affected know who to talk to about it.

[greykev.livejournal.com]

Couldn't your strappy black top be "dressed up" with a light jacket/shawl/scarf and slacks for the dinner? Anyway, I'm sure you'll look fabulous.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thanks, and I may well wear my black camisole, but not with a jacket or slacks. (I am not slack!) Either with my giraffe pants or with a skirt, probably, and with my ambers.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

How many Cambodian restaurants are there? I only know of the one.

K.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I have no idea how many. We're going to Cheng Heng in St. Paul. Our visiting friends are currently stationed with the State Department in Phnomh Penh, so apparently they wanted to share some of their favorite stuff with us here. Fine by me.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

That's the good one around here.

B

[(Anonymous)]

My sister-in-law would concur. She is Cambodian and wants to go there every time she gets a chance. I love their Tam Yam, which is a spicy soup, but there are lots of other good choices too.

I hope you enjoy it!

Heathah