Nicer to me.

[mrissa]

I swear people are nicer to me than they are to other people.

I just got a gift certificate in the mail from Rice Paper, thanking me for my warmth, support, and presence, which -- I am told -- enliven Rice Paper's spirit.

Golly.

It's one of my favorite restaurants, but I don't think I've done anything noteworthy there. I just, y'know, show up sometimes.

I am just knocked over by this. (And anyone suggesting it's the Vicodin can hush.)

This is the kind of thing that makes me think that people are nicer to me than they are to other people, and I can't really say why they would be, but it's extremely pleasant when it happens.

Wow.

Comments

[deannahoak.livejournal.com]

You underestimate what a wonderful friend you are to have, and how much your comments and support can mean. :-)

[fredcritter.livejournal.com]

I swear people are nicer to me than they are to other people. … I can't really say why they would be ….

Since I hardly know you yet I can only speculate, but is it possible that this phenomenon is proof of the famous postulate: "What goes around, comes around"?

[pameladean]

When you took Elise and me there, rather late for lunch, you were the one who noticed that the person working there was cleaning up and probably wanted to close the place. Do enough of that and people notice back.

P.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Deanna. That means a lot to me.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Well, one tries, at least.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

But that's basic. You or Elise would have noticed in another minute if I hadn't. I mean, yes, I try to be considerate of wait staff in restaurants, but so does everyone else I lunch with. I suppose I do go there more often, though. (Want tofu puffs! Sigh.)

[brooksmoses]

I mean, yes, I try to be considerate of wait staff in restaurants, but so does everyone else I lunch with.

Yes, well, this comes of having good taste in lunch companions.

Rice Paper

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Ouch. I hope this doesn't mean they're hurting for business.

B

[aet.livejournal.com]

Could it be that intentions matter more than acts themselves?

For example, sometimes I do wonder, when feeling lonely and lost, why while I send out books and chocolate and postcards myself, I rarely get any back.

I guess it is that I love sharing information, but the people who get my gifts work on different measuring system - they WOULD respond to emotional care, but they do not consider me smart enough to be worthy of gifts of books from them.

Or, may-be, they just think that I am competent and energetic enough to get all the books I need thorough the inter-library exchange (it IS expensive, as I would have to do the international exchange, but cheaper than buying online)and to get all the treats I need shopping online, so there is never any need to send me anything.

Or may-be I overthink and people from USA (who are the majority of my chocolate, postcard and book correspondents) just feel less confident with in international postal service? Or, may-be, unlike me, they enjoy buying gifts for themselves and so have no need to send packages?

Can you tell me why you have never felt any need to send me a book, yourself, even if I have felt the urge to send you books more than once? Knowing the reason would probably help me to understand what I should be doing differently, if anything.

Re: Rice Paper

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I hope it doesn't, too. Every time I've been in there recently, there have been what I estimated were a fair number of people for the time of day, but that could be a fluke, or I could be wrong about what kind of business they should expect on a Wednesday at 1:30, for example.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Hee! That's a good thought: we can't send gift certificates to all the nice people you've brought in, but keep bringing them.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I can't speak for other people, but I find it extremely difficult to buy presents for someone who describes such persistent anhedonia. It's hard to say, "Oh, I bet this will make Aet smile!" when I have very little faith that anything will make you smile, considering most of the comments you've posted. And I don't buy gifts to make things "even," I buy gifts to make other people happy. There are some rare exceptions where we have explicitly agreed to buy each other presents (or not to buy each other presents), and there are people with whom it's a habit to come up with what would make them smile, but with you I just don't even know where I'd start.

I don't think anybody thinks you're not smart enough to be worthy of book gifts, but the fact that you approach so many things as ways to demonstrate that you are unworthy induces a sort of paralysis.

[aet.livejournal.com]

But my journal entries are full of the things that make me grab for pen or camera from the urge to share the joy of what I have found ! And you can ask Columbine - she did think I smile too much (no, actually she said something like : "You should not feel guilty for smiling all the time, because your smile is genuine, not fake like big part of American "Keep Smiling!"")

I HAVE been more show not tell lately, using too many images, but I try to make up for it by keeping entries up only temporarily, taking the old ones off after couple of days.

It is better that way - did you not feel that the mushroom entry was suitable only for the September, the prison guard entry would have been threat to someones privacy if left up and the chocolate covered curds would have just made people with no access to them salivating needlessly if staying up permanently? And entries about car accidents and hospitals just need to be temporary anyway.

When I believe something should stay public I just put it on Flickr (did you not love the Coca-cola comment in bog?)

[porphyrin.livejournal.com]

Consider this:

Because you're nicer to other people than the average (way nicer, she said, with her husband firmly seconding that), people tend to be nicer to you.

[wilfulcait.livejournal.com]

I am lucky and also live in the world in which people are nice to me, and from what I hear, nicer to me than to other people. I like it here in this world.

Re: Rice Paper

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

I don't think I've been back since I revieved the place, which is one of the hazards of the occupation.

B

Re: Rice Paper

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Well, we appreciate the South section reviews. I'm really hoping your review keeps Sambol open -- I think very few people knew about it. We're trying to do our part, but there's only so much one household can get Indian take-out.

Re: Rice Paper

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Ah, the things we do for you South people....

Last night we had medeocre Mexican food, so you don't have to.

B

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Aet, I didn't re-friend you after you went through going up and down and up and down on your lj several times in a fortnight. Now I just stop back to see what's there periodically. So you taking things down means I miss most of it. I have no idea what you've been putting in your lj and taking down again, because every time I look back it's the image from December.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

"Way nicer" is depressing. I want other people to be nicer than that.

Re: Rice Paper

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Um, "reviewed" not "revieved."

(Sorry; it's early.)

B

Re: Rice Paper

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Appreciated. Really. Truly. And the pizza place from before, as well: we probably would have ended up trying it, and now we don't have to. We do value the negative as well as the positive reviews.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I am glad not to be alone in this world!

Re: Rice Paper

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

And we got some pretty serious hate mail re Piccolos.

B

Re: Rice Paper

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Well, really, how dare you judge a restaurant by its food, service, and decor rather than by how long That Guy's family has been going there?

[aet.livejournal.com]

This explains, then, why you tell you have no idea what makes me smile then. Or what makes smiling hard.

It is nothing big that you did not read when I asked for help - may-be those were bits of information or stuff you could not or would not have helped me out with anyway.

It is just sad that nobody gave me gifts of books when I asked for them - but now that you have explained me possible reasons I know it was only my own fault anyway. That I asked in wrong way - that is why I failed to get what I asked for.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Well, now that I know that you're doing it that way instead of going up-and-down some more, I have friended you and will see what you post.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

That I asked in wrong way - that is why I failed to get what I asked for.

I don't know you at all, but my question reading this thread is...

Did you ask?

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

It's always a pleasure to be nice to people who a) appreciate it and b) are pretty darn nice themselves.

[aet.livejournal.com]

Yes. I asked for books - not necessarily sent, I would have been happy with just recommendations.

I am quite sure as one of the answers was: "How can I be sure your English is good enough to enjoy reading in English?"

Was I really asking for pearls for the proverbial pigs?

Even if such a respect towards books in general is wonderful, it is much less wonderful when accompanied with hint of: "You do think too much about your English skills!"

[blythe025.livejournal.com]

It is my belief that when you give warmth and generosity, you recieve warmth and generosity. It is my belief that you are a warm and generous person.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Well, thank you.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

My dad quotes M*A*S*H with, "It's nice to be nice to the nice."