16 again, or perhaps 2

[mrissa]

Ista is at the vet having more fluids and having a vet keep an eye on her and making sure we're out of the woods on this nonsense. She wouldn't eat anything for me (or timprov or markgritter or my mom, in chronological order) this morning, but it turns out she had a few tablespoons of dog food hand-fed to her at the emergency vet last night, so that made me feel a little better. We're to get her in the late afternoon.

I am home by myself fussing getting useful things done. I borrowed my mom's car so I could run Ista to the vet and do some errands while markgritter and timprov are off with Zeph, and let me tell you, there is nothing to make you feel 16 again like borrowing your parents' Buick during a mixed rain-and-snowfall when you haven't had enough sleep and are anxious about something. I kept thinking, "Do not wreck parental vehicle, do not wreck parental vehicle," even though I have never wrecked a car, nor even slightly dented one, nor had mysterious and inexplicable plagues of wrecks or slight dentings close by me like some people in my extended family. (I believe my Gran did stop driving when she noticed that she hadn't been in an accident but the people driving behind her sure seemed to have a lot of them.) And if I had been in an accident, my parents would be the kind to fuss over me and want to make sure I was okay, rather than yowling at me and demanding that I pay every cent of etc. etc. (This is partly because that's the kind of people they are but also not entirely unrelated to the fact that I never have wrecked, slightly dented, etc.)

I am having great difficulty getting focused on things enough to get them done. I went to order some library books online, in case my to-read pile was insufficient to get me through World Fantasy Con. I kept looking at my library list and coming up with stupid reasons not to order one thing or another. Evelyn Waugh, for example, sparked Franklin Roosevelt's voice in my head, intoning, "I hate Waugh, Eleanaugh hates Waugh...." That level of reasoning. The "I can't read that book because it is green" level of reasoning. Also known to the external world as the "lack thereof" level of reasoning. If my brain was represented by a person right now, it would be about 22 months old, and its parental unit would have said, "I think someone needs a nap," and it would be running around shouting, "No nap! No nap! NOOOOOO nap!" and its parental unit would be quietly wondering if this was the fabled Terrible Twos coming early or if it was, in fact, going to get worse.

It may be that Jim and Melissa look at their wedding present and think to themselves, Gosh, it looks like this was wrapped by a two-year-old who needed a nap. And if they do, they will be right. Just not, y'know, literal.

This, too, shall pass. Mom and I will go fetch the bop. I will get news from the humans I'm worried about. The region formerly known as my wisdom teeth will heal. I will drink some water and take some deep breaths and vacuum some floors while no one else is around to be disturbed, and I will be kind to myself. Perhaps there will be a hot beverage. Yes. I can see the future, and it contains a hot beverage and a sit-down.

This is a good kind of prescience, I think.

(NOOOOOOO nap!)

Comments

[orbitalmechanic.livejournal.com]

Re: library troubles. Yesterday in the bookstore I read a book about a little girl who would only read one book from the library about bugs and beetles and butterflies, and they went to the library and it WASN'T THERE AND SOMEONE ELSE HAD IT and there was a small meltdown. All other books were green, more or less. But then there was a book about cheetahs and it worked out okay.

I didn't even buy it! That's how good I was. But I might have to. For my nephew, you know.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

You are virtue personified. And nieces and nephews are extremely useful things to have.

Also this book may be about the dangers of library use. Good to warn kids early.

[mkille.livejournal.com]

Hopes and concern on all counts. Um, except if there were some in there that don't call for them. I'm not reading the green book either, dammit.

[miz-hatbox.livejournal.com]

My brain does that too! "Soooo sleepy... must play one more game of Bejeweled! Yes, that will surely help me feel less sleepy. Not lunch, not nap...but stupid mindnumbing gameplaying. Yeah right.

Or when LMH was small and new. Everyone tells you "sleep when the baby sleeps," and even Mirth was clever enough to actually sleep when LMH was napping. But did I? No! "This is my only chance to fold laundry," I would insist. "I will fold the laundry and do the dishes and then lay down." and I would fold, grumbling all the while that Mirth was taking a nap (the slacker!) when he could be folding laundry with me. How dare he?!

and of course as soon as I got done with the laundry, LMH started fussing.
I think if I ever get a small new baby of my own again (wish wish wish), I will make sure to nap as often as I possibly can.

But I think I should practice a little now...

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Heh. I feel sure that, should we manage to have a kid in the future as planned, I will remember all of other people's Learning Experiences and promptly have my own that are darn near identical. Because so many of them are so sensible and obvious that they must be wrong, especially on tired-brain.

(The bop decided she needed to be up at 5:00 for a drink of water. I am inclined to indulge her in this sort of thing right now, rather than hoping that ignoring her doesn't result in another trip to the vet for IV fluids.)

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

>My brain does that too! "Soooo sleepy... must play one more game of Bejeweled! Yes, that will surely help me feel less sleepy. Not lunch, not nap...but stupid mindnumbing gameplaying. Yeah right.

It's really absurd how long it took me to realize that when I'm sitting at the computer (or wherever) and I find myself thinking, "Why am I doing this?"

It's time to stop it, and do something else instead.

-many hugs-

[aszanoni.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of Arry when _The Dubious Hills_ starts. Recently I was thinking how strange it was that she had all those conflicting memory-voices in her head. Now I realize that I get the same way when I'm stressed. I just didn't recognize it in someone else.

Get better. Go have that sit-down and hot beverage - and please rest yourself. -warm healing thoughts-

I wish I could trade you for the snow, but I haven't anything weatherwise that's comparable.

Thinking of you, and the guys, and your puddle Ista. :>

- Chica

Re: -many hugs-

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I usually like the snow very much, so I don't mind keeping it. I was just a little daunted that my first snow-driving of the season was in someone else's car on short sleep.

Now I will go lie down on the couch and see if I can nap, since Herself needed water at 5:00 a.m., and I was not inclined to deny the recently-dehydrated puddle.

[numinicious.livejournal.com]

I muhcly hope your Ista gets better. I've been keeping her in my thoughts, although only metaphorically. I suspect if she really were in my thoughts, she'd try to chew on my differential equations a bit. Which I wholly support, by the way.

And hooray for being 16 again! I miss those times. :)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Yummy diff equs. I love diff equs.

I would not be 16 again if you paid me. Not even if you paid me a lot.

[numinicious.livejournal.com]

Yea, I don't want to be 16 again, but I still miss those times. ...When I had friends and was blissfully ignorant of life... Yup, those were the good times.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Ah. I was not blissfully ignorant at 16, I don't think.

[numinicious.livejournal.com]

I most definitely was. And now I'm stuck in that point in life when you remember being blissfully ignorant, and being apprehensive about the massive amounts of Real Life Doom that are awaiting you. Tis fun times.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I have seen this laid out as a justification for why one's junior year of college is best:
Freshman year you know nothing, and spend all the time finding out what you don't know.
Sophomore year you're aware that you know nothing.
Junior year you have started to get a clue, but no one is requiring that you use that clue.
Senior year the pressure to use the clue you have acquired starts to get overwhelming.

It looks like you've skipped straight to the canonical senior year for the rest of college. Lucky you.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

If it's any help, I really like Real Life. Much better than high school.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Even better than college.

[numinicious.livejournal.com]

I completely agree! I love Real Life!

Unfortunately I'm right on that brink where I'd like to get out into Real Life, but I haven't acquired the necessary things (read: diploma) with which to do my version of Real Life. I know you don't always need a diploma, but it usually helps if you're trying to get tenure...

As for the Junior Year is Best, that was also true for me in high school. Junior year definitely looks quite nice from here.