mrissa: (winter)
[personal profile] mrissa
I put something like this in an e-mail and then decided I should put it here, too:

What I like about the early part of the Christmas season, from just after Thanksgiving to Santa Lucia Day, is that it feels like it's being open to serendipity on other people's behalves. In the rest of the year, I am constantly shopping for others when I'm out and about. But mostly I don't buy any of it. I can walk past a rack of men's coats and know, without having to stop and think, which one I would buy for [livejournal.com profile] greykev -- but in over a decade of friendship I have never bought Kev a coat. I know, for example, where to go and what to get if some lunatic said, "You can either have $375 to buy a decorative platter for [livejournal.com profile] careswen, or else you can have nothing!" I know exactly which decorative platter that would be. But [livejournal.com profile] careswen and I don't routinely spend $375 on each other, and if we did, I doubt that it would be a platter-related expense. There was a wooden box that screamed, "[livejournal.com profile] mnfiddledragon!" to me, if she was to need a wooden box for something, but it also screamed, "$250!" on the pricetag on the bottom, so I hope she doesn't need it. And like that. Sometimes it's more manageable -- a book that someone should read, a CD she should listen to -- but even then you can't just keep a constant stream of purchases going or your friends will all be embarrassed and there will be no money for the electric bill.

Around Christmas, though, some of that serendipity is allowed to escape. I stop in a little roadside store and come out with stocking stuffers for [livejournal.com profile] markgritter, [livejournal.com profile] mormor1, and Grandpa -- all things they'd like any day of the year, but I wouldn't necessarily have taken the time to find out and bring the stuff home otherwise. For a little part of the year, I'm allowed to follow, "[livejournal.com profile] seagrit should have that book!" with, "And so she shall!"

After Lucia Day things get more focused. I need to find things for the people on my list soon; I can't necessarily wait for something to leap out and carol my father-in-law's name in four-part harmony. But for a few brief weeks I can just let interesting gifts happen; I can let the part of my head that's always thinking about giving things to people run a little wilder than usual. And I enjoy that a great deal.

Date: 2007-11-24 06:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] athenais.livejournal.com
I love giving people presents, but they seem so shocked or (occasionally) guilty when I do that I mostly have stopped except for those sanctioned times of the year when they can say, "Oh you shouldn't have," but mean, "Hurray! Just what I wanted!" I like giving presents, I like seeing something that would be perfect for X, I don't quite understand why it's so crushing to give someone a cool thing just because you knew they'd like it. I don't do it so they'll give me something in return.

Date: 2007-11-24 10:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrissa.livejournal.com
I have worked on accepting compliments graciously, and presents seem to have come along with it. So I'm a great deal more likely to squeal, "Hurray! Just what I wanted!" than to politely murmur, "Oh, you shouldn't have," these days.

Date: 2007-11-25 04:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] athenais.livejournal.com
I do think, "Oh, you shouldn't have," is one of those unanswerable and therefore secretly rude things to say that masquerades as politeness. I have no patience with it.

Presents are always acceptable from people you like. That's my theory.

Just a theory...

Date: 2007-11-27 10:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] careswen.livejournal.com
I'm guessing the platter in question has a squirrel on it?

Re: Just a theory...

Date: 2007-11-28 12:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrissa.livejournal.com
It was a gorgeous and artistic squirrel. But yes.

But I've picked out hideously expensive things for you that were squirrel-free in the past!

Re: Just a theory...

Date: 2007-11-28 02:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] careswen.livejournal.com
I enjoy both squirrelly and squirrel-free things in the world, so this works well!

When the gaming group came over this weekend, [livejournal.com profile] mojos_lady identified our townhome from all the lookalikes by the many squirrels on the patio, and then I served everyone squirrel-shaped cookies. These events caused [livejournal.com profile] glass_eye_01 to comment, "I'm surprised you don't have a squirrel tattoo!"

I fear I'm getting a bit predictable.

Re: Just a theory...

Date: 2007-11-28 02:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrissa.livejournal.com
Clearly the tattoo would have to be an acorn, not the squirrel itself.

Re: Just a theory...

Date: 2007-11-28 02:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrissa.livejournal.com
To mix things up a little. And to be symbolic of mixing things up a little! It's an acorn! You don't know whether it's going to become an oak tree or a well-fed squirrel! That's just how unpredictable the [livejournal.com profile] careswen is!

Re: Just a theory...

Date: 2007-11-28 02:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] careswen.livejournal.com
Brilliant!

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