Elbows and shiny

[mrissa]

I have a positive horror of being a whiner about this vertigo thing. I am even opposed to letting it affect my life in even the tiniest way, for I am superhuman and above such petty concerns as balance!!! interfere substantially with my plans. My life. Not the vertigo's life. I have an appointment with a second opinion in early January to help enforce this philosophical position.

In the meantime, it does mess with a person. It does. And the bad fall I took Thursday evening on the driveway has not made my life any happier, because, among other things, I gave both elbows a good bruising. Do you know what you use your elbows for? Lots of things. Do you know what you use your elbows for when you are vertiginous? Three-point balance against the desk, the table, the kitchen counters, the bathroom counters, etc. Brushing my teeth, for example: I bend to spit in the sink, and I automatically stabilize myself with my elbows against the counter. I didn't realize I'd been doing that, until doing it was rather painful. Oops. Also, my desk chair is nearly impossible to sit in without either being rather tense or having my elbows rest lightly on the arms, which immediately hurts. Oops.

As a result of this lovely thing, all the new insights into fitting yet more cool into this book with a yet larger mallet are taking awhile. I am trying to find the line between whining-making excuses and acknowledging a genuine difficulty. I think right now I'm doing all right with "reasons to work slowly" vs. "excuses not to work." I think that while "if it hurts, take a break" isn't the only way to figure these things, it's not a bad one. So that's what I've been doing.

I don't know if I'll get this book to critiquers before Christmas. I'd like to, but it doesn't make sense to send it to people to critique with things I know I'm putting in yet to be put in. (For some reason I'd be a lot more casual about things that need taking out. But that's not the issue here.) I'm trying to be diligent and sensible all at once. The good part is that I am now excited again over the shininess of this book, because I keep finding ways to make it more shiny. And being excited over book shininess in conjunction with actually doing things to the book seems like it could hardly be a bad thing at this juncture. We'll see.

Comments

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

I struggle with a similar feeling about a very different medical issue. I hate when my mental health issues impede my life but sometimes I have as much difficulty walking out my front door as you do staying upright and I can sympathize with the "my life" feeling of frustration. If it makes you feel better, your venting does not have the "whiner" feel to it and I'm sure I'm not the only one reading who would rather know how you feel than not.

I am sorry about your elbows. Elbows, big toes and tongues are totally unappreciated in their time.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Elbows, big toes, tongues, and various bits of brain chemistry, yes. All very important.

[athenais.livejournal.com]

Ow! I hope the elbows heal quickly.

There's whining and then there's whining. You're not a whiner.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[jebbypal]

I admire your desire to not let it interfere with your life and to not whine about it. At the same time, your caution is very very very good. I wish you could sell some to me to give to my mother so she'll stop pushing herself too far until she falls.

Would wrapping layers of hand towels around the arms of your deskchair (or your amrs) aid with the bruised hurting at all? Or maybe ice your elbows down before going to do some writing?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thanks; I think my loved ones would tell you that I ought to be a buyer rather than a seller of caution and not pushing myself too far.

The elbows are still at the stage where having the cloth of my shirt push at them makes them ache, so I'm not sure the handtowels would be a net win. Possibly later in the week, or possibly they'll heal quickly from here. We can hope.

[mkille.livejournal.com]

I hope for quick healing too.

The mad scientist in me suggests a wrist suspension system, so that the weight of your arms is supported but not on your elbows.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I think just waiting out the bruises is the solution at this time.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

if it hurts, take a break, and if i'm going to be dead the next day, don't do it (unless it's really super amazingly cool and i can take the next day off), those are my two rules to live by.

there's also the difference between hurt and harm, which even if you knew about previously you might not have thought to apply to this particular topic. ahem. ;) anyhow. the difference between "ow, butt muscles, what a lot of gardening i've been doing" and "ow ow ow ow ow ow insert words i try not to use in front of my grandmother here my knees still hurt three days later". which, after a while, a person gets moderately good at telling the difference between while inflicting same upon self rather than having to wait until three days later.

anyhow. i hear and acknowledge your desire to not let this interfere with your life too much, but please take it a little easier than you might be tempted to so that you don't damage yourself in the long run, she says, wishing she was herself smart enough to consistently act on this one.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Fortunately or unfortunately, the things that are going to flatten me for days are not at all predictable with vertigo. But I will still try.

[greykev.livejournal.com]

Sorry your elbows/brain are/is giving you grief.

[ckd]

My right knee is still tender from the chunk I managed to take out of it in early November. (It's healed over, but it's still filling in.)

I know this, because every so often I'll kneel down on my right knee. For about a second. Ow.

Your fall

[mplsvala.livejournal.com]

Wince. This brought poor Emma to mind. Glad it's not worse.

Re: Your fall

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Yah, could have been much worse, definitely. And I'm going to go in and see that second opinion so that if we can stop it from happening again, to possibly worse effect, we will.

[papersky.livejournal.com]

Comfrey and arnica cream, generally effective on anything bruised and/or grazed, seems to work especially well on elbows. I don't know if you can get it there, but it might be worth looking. (I must get some myself. We're down to a tiny smear in the bottom of the pot. It lasts ages, but.)

On life, messing up, etc, there's a line between that and denial. I find it useful to consider unpredictable ability like the weather. I make a plan, maybe the weather doesn't co-operate. Likewise, pain. I don't plan picnics in December, likewise I don't go dancing or mountain climbing. But I'll plan a picnic in June, and if it rains, oh well, damn. Likewise, other stuff. This really has worked for me in a zen kind of way. Also, always having a book with me so that if I miss stuff, at least I am reading my book. I shall spare you a long anecdote about something that happened to me in Calais once, but anyway.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I have long been regarding short story rejections as weather. Expanding that to include health stuff is probably a good idea. Thank you.