Christmas Eve, my way.

[mrissa]

Christmas Eve is my holiday. Other holidays are very fine, and I'm fond of celebrating, but I have a certain relaxed attitude towards them, an air of "it doesn't matter which day exactly" and "we don't have to follow these traditions; we can do what we like to celebrate." But Christmas Eve is what I like. It goes like this:

--There is breakfast, and there is lunch, and they are both as relaxed as possible.

--My dad and I go shopping. No, we are not lunatics. My dad has an immensely good in with the parking fairies, and so we tend to waltz into the mall from a space no more than three from the door. We have already done any shopping that is truly necessary, so this is along the lines of, "Look! Good socks! We know and love people who have feet!" or, "Hey, don't you think Mom could use those earrings? I think she could!" And, "Hahaha, look at how ugly this thing is! It's ugly and useless! Ha! We will leave it to be ugly and useless here in the store." And also, "Look at those poor stressed-out saps. Smile, stressed-out saps! It's Christmas!" There is also some solving of the world's problems along the way. Also technical discussions of the world of speculative fiction and the world of water chemistry in the last year.

--My dad and I have frozen yogurt with fruit on the top. Failing that, smoothies. But the right thing is frozen yogurt with fruit on the top. Vanilla frozen yogurt. If possible some of the fruit should be chopped kiwi. If they don't have kiwi, we will make the same skeptical face at each other about this newfangled kind of frozen yogurt place that lacks kiwi.

--My dad and I come back and wrap whatever socks/earrings/fruit bats/orangutans/breakfast cereals we have managed to find along the way. We use my dad's secret to wrapping presents: use lots of tape. (Dad's secret to building houses: use lots of nails. Dad's secret to sewing buttons: use lots of thread. Dad's secret to writing novels: use lots of words.)

--There is smorgasbord. Clam chowder and pickled herring and meats and cheeses and usually shrimps (which I do not eat) and veggies and lo these many other fine things. Many of which are Ethnic. In the background of this, there are very cheesy Christmas carols on the hifi, which has been replaced by my mom's sleek under-cabinet kitchen CD player, but still, the theory is the same. These carols are too cheesy to have been played a million times over in stores for the month of December, so no one is sick of them. Two words: Eddie Arnold.

--There are presents opened. The presents are passed out by the two youngest parties present who are old enough to read gift labels. The presents are opened one at a time, going around a circle with the youngest opening one, and then the next-youngest, and so on up to the oldest, then starting again with the youngest.

--There are cookies, and there is raspberry sherbet. These days the sherbet is sorbet, because I buy the sherbet. But the theory of it is sherbet.

--There is the trying on of various gift clothing items, and occasionally the modeling for family members.

--There is church. I am mildly flexible on the subject of the timing of Christmas Eve church. It can be any time after sundown, as long as there are candles and carols. Last year I settled for morning church, since Christmas Eve was a Sunday and my parents' church was not having an evening service. It was a very nice morning service, but it was not the thing. This year: midnight, darkness, candles, carols. Difficulty staying awake is the order of the day here.

--There is the stocking-stuffing, which is topped off with cocoa with Bailey's in. It is quiet and sleepy. The cocoa with Bailey's is one of our best adult innovations to Christmas Eve. Innovations to Christmas Eve are few and far between because it is Christmas Eve -- it's already so hard to improve. Better cheese on the smorgasbord one year than another is about the extent of improvement here.

Clearly this is about me and what I want; I wouldn't dream of telling you what you ought to do for Christmas Eve, or that you ought to do anything at all, and anyway my dad's busy that day and can't go shopping with you. Also, things can be added more easily than subtracted. For example, this year my household will open the presents that don't fit in with other Christmas celebrations together in the morning. In some years past it's been the right time to have coffee or brunch with a friend who's in town for limited time. That sort of thing. But by mid-afternoon, Dad and I will be buying random chocolates and laughing at our own incomprehensible jokes, and that is the way of the world. Not everybody's world. Just my world.

It's a good world, on Christmas Eve. And then Christmas morning there are cinnamon rolls and stockings, and by 10 a.m. on Christmas morning, I am back to my amiable, cheerful, whatever-you-like, we-can-be-flexible attitude about holidays.

Is there a holiday about which you have Firm Opinions? What are your Firm Opinions?

Comments

[coppervale.livejournal.com]

Eddie Arnold rules.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

"R's for our Redeemer, I means Israel, and thaaaaat's why there's a Chriiiiistmaaaaaaas Daaaaaaay!"

[dd-b.livejournal.com]

Oh, *lots* of holidays come with firm customs around me.

Easter, for example, is celebrated by attending Minicon (http://mnstf.org/minicon/). Haven't missed an observance since, oh, 1973 I think it was.

Thanksgiving and Christmas both require roast turkey with stuffing. I've taken over making the turkey and stuffing, so it's reliably satisfactory to me. (Pepperidge Farm herb breadcrumbs, heavily augmented, including summer savory.) Also there must be mince pie. Haven't missed an observance ever. The meal can be anytime between 3 and 6, and we've been moving away from the older earlier tradition in recent years. Presents used to be opened after breakfast, back when I lived with my parents, but these days it fits wherever there's a slot in the day, often before dinner. It does not, however, take place *before the day*, because that would be wrong.

My birthday is celebrated with a good dinner. So far it's mostly been one my mother cooked, except when we lived far away.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

If opening presents on Christmas Eve is wrong, I don't want to be right.

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

You open presents the same way my family does -- except that you heathens open them on Christmas Eve.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

We also steal the infants of those who open on Christmas Day. And other evil customs best left dark and mysterious.

[miz-hatbox.livejournal.com]

Holidays? Firm opinions? Oh my, yes.

Passover is such a holiday. The Four Questions must absolutely use the melody I learned as a second-grader. The melody that got introduced when I was in third grade is awful and does not bear mentioning here, except in dismissive tones. I have never liked the "Dayenu" song terribly much, but it's part of the holiday so there you go. Dinner must begin with gefilte fish and horseradish. Preferably purple horseradish, for the look of the thing. Likewise chicken soup with matzoh balls. (whole wheat matzoh balls, preferably. They are much better. Trust me on this.) Turkey is an acceptable main course, but beef or lamb is much better. Also, after the afikomen hunt is over, all the kids get small gifts--not just the kid who found it.

It's not really Halloween without trick-or-treaters. And candy corn. I don't care that it's sugar mixed with sugar and held together with corn syrup and coated with wax. Somehow it's greater than the sum of its parts. Especially if you can nibble the tips off.

Thanksgiving dinner requires turkey and cranberry sauce. I can live without stuffing, but not without cranberry sauce. Lots and lots of homemade cranberry sauce with whole berries.

It's not really Chanukah without potato latkes at some point in the holiday. Applesauce and fat-free sour cream are necessities. Unfortunately I do not enjoy squeezing the water out of the grated potatoes in order to make them--seems like the job is never quite done--so I don't enjoy making them myself. and the batter must include grated carrot and onion. I prefer to make latkes with grated sweet potatoes or celery root instead (Much drier! Much easier to deal with!) but Mirth and LMH don't like them as much that way. So if I can finagle things so that someone else makes the latkes, then so much the better.

[timprov.livejournal.com]

I wonder if hanging the potatoes overnight in a cheesecloth would solve that problem.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Yah, some things about holidays are not about whether you like them or not, but some things can have the good one chosen among the bad options.

[bafleyanne.livejournal.com]

My family traditions:

Christmas Eve: dinner with mom's family, cousins, etc. The opening of presents from and to said cousins and family. Dinner must include turkey, country ham, dressing (not stuffing), sweet potatoes, broccoli casserole, corn pudding, "little white cakes", and boiled custard (sort of like eggnog. but not.)

Christmas Day: immediate family presents, Santa presents, stockings. Big breakfast which should for authenticity include either homemade cinnamon rolls or a breakfast casserole.

In recent years we have moved the Christmas Eve gathering to the 23rd, because all my cousins are grown and married and have kids of their own now, so there are several families to be considered. But it's still held at what was my grandmother's house, now my mom's house, and everything else is the same. :)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Then you've already had your gathering! I hope you've enjoyed it.

[applewoman.livejournal.com]

Your method of opening presents is exactly the one I grew up with -- the youngest goes first, on up until the oldest, then begin again, proceeding in an orderly fashion until done.

It was a terrible shock to adjust to my husband's family's method, which is: make a pile of gifts in front of each person, then all rip into them at once like ravenous wolves. Chaos!

(I still haven't adjusted, actually.)

[markgritter.livejournal.com]

Marissa gets it both ways, because the presents in stockings on Christmas morning are opened using the ravenous-wolves method.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

markgritter is correct, stockings are a ravenous wolves experience. But I was deeply shocked the Christmas I was 5 and we were with my great-aunt's family in Denver. They were done with their presents in five minutes and had gotten tired of some of the things they'd gotten before I'd had a chance to even play with mine. (Upon seeing the ravenous wolves, my immediate family withdrew into a little adjacent room to do it our way anyway.)

markgritter's family does it such that the person who just opened a present picks a present for someone else to open.

[tewok.livejournal.com]

It's Christmas Day opening for us, both my wife's family and mine therefore us too.

The really big tradition is the music. I grew up being blasted awake with the brass fanfare that opens up "The Glorious Sound of Christmas" LP, by the Philadelphia Orchestra. This album was recorded around 1963 and I was overjoyed when it was released on CD. This album has become the definitive, archtypal Christmas album. Christmas hasn't started until that's been played in the morning.

After that comes my wife's Christmas album, the Messiah, and a couple others. But Christmas must start with "The Glorious Sound of Christmas."

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

We have a couple of standard albums, but none of them start the morning. I think because I have mercy on the rest of the family and do not visit upon them my morning-person hit-the-ground-running tendencies.

One year my dad opened the Gladys Knight CD out of the top of his stocking before everyone was around to do stockings and put it on the CD player. My mother and I glared at him until he started dancing like a Pip. You can't keep glaring at your big ol' Scandosotan daddy doing a Pip dance around the living room on Christmas morning and chiming in on the "Woo-woo!"s of "Midnight Train to Georgia." It's just not biologically possible.

[retrobabble.livejournal.com]

Never mind Firm Opinions: I want to go shopping with your dad and wrap orangutans.

[athenais.livejournal.com]

I was thinking the fruit bats might be more fun. Also, they won't eat the ribbon.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I can see why you would, but as I said, he's busy that day!

[writingortyping.livejournal.com]

We used to do Christmas Eve with my uncle's family - there was pickled herring as an appetizer and the entree was always fish chowder. Presents were opened in a leisurely but structured way: the next was not opened until the last giver had been thanked. The youngest child capable of the job was the Elf. The Elf had the power and responsibility of distributing gifts in a reasonably ordered fashion (but could generally be bribed or cajoled, or - most easy of all - embroiled in conspiracy to deliver some special gift at some significant time). So, Christmas Eve was for extended family, and Christmas Day was reserved for close family.

Divorces put paid to the tradition a few years after the things that led to the divorces made it a rather stiff and uncomfortable tradition. But it was lovely when it was still lovely.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

We have more people at Christmas Day than at Christmas Eve, generally. We do gift opening on Christmas Eve, and there's the question of how to handle someone who isn't doing gifts with everyone else who's there. The day that isn't gift opening is a lot easier that way -- if one or two people present exchange small things, no harm done.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

I learned not to have Firm Opinions, (or to internalize some of my rituals) but your Christmas Eve sounds lovely to me. Also you and your dad sound like you'd be fun to shop with.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

We do try.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

In my family, the big holidays that we cared about were Thanksgiving, Channukah, Passover, and Purim. But with my family scattered around now, it's harder to do the old traditions, so mostly Thanksgiving and Passover are the important ones.

Thanksgiving is a big family affair. I go over to the house of my nearby relatives, the Swansons, who hold the grand gathering of the clan every year. There is much turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, various other Scandosotan casseroles (some of which I fear), and lots of other goodies. I always end up eating way too much turkey, but that's the point, no? Then there is talking with relatives I don't get to see often enough, making fun of the football game, playing with the little kids, and cracking jokes with my older relatives. And there is pie.

Passover, I usually fly out to Maryland to see my dad and my sister, and my old family friends, the Rezneks. I have Passover with them, and then spend a couple days with my family. Each year I've done this, it's been a little different, but that's okay. Last year I didn't get to go, though; couldn't be spared from work. Ah, well.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I hope work will let you go for Passover this coming year.

[ashnistrike.livejournal.com]

My Firm Opinions on Christmas come from having been raised in a Jewish family that gave X-Mas gifts in a slightly guilty fashion, without most of the traditional trimmings. So there must be a tree, and it must be real and not painted and make the whole house smell like pine. It must be covered in lights and shiny balls and ornaments, and none of the ornaments should have anything copyrighted or trademarked on them. Presents must be heaped underneath. Carols must be traditional and preferably choral. I also have some FOs about things my family actually does, like putting riddle clues on gift tags.

Halloween: Trick-or-treating should take place on the 31st, not on some other day that scared suburbanites deem safer. Trick-or-treating should take place after dark, not at some other time that scared suburbanites deem safer. Parents should not help out with "tricks."

All Holidays: Inflatable plastic lawn ornaments are evil. Particularly if they light up and move.

All Holidays: If you don't have enough leftovers for at least one extra meal, you didn't have enough food.

Oddly, I have fewer Firm Opinions about the Jewish and Pagan holidays that are actually religious for me. I've done a lot of tinkering to make them fit my current mixed household, and they change a little every year as I continue to tweak and adjust to whoever's celebrating with me.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. I hate inflatable plastic lawn ornaments, and trick-or-treating at the mall in the afternoon on October 12th is only acceptable as an addition to actual nighttime 10/31 trick-or-treating, not as an alternative to it. When I was in high school, the different high school clubs decorated rooms the Friday night before Halloween and the little kids trick-or-treated from room to room -- but this was widely understood to be an extension of Halloween festivities, not a substitute for them.

[scottjames.livejournal.com]

I have married into Christmas traditions more similar to what you already had. Except that I go shopping with your dad on the 23rd.

The only Christmas tradition I was adamant about enforcing was Christmas morning: there had better be Winnie Landau baked pancakes. Fortunately, my wife has fully embraced this new-to-her tradition.

I have a great many Firm Opinions about Thanksgiving, but those haven't gone so well of late.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Except that I go shopping with your dad on the 23rd.

No, I'm pretty sure he would have mentioned it.