First PT session

[mrissa]

Well, that sucked.

It wasn't that they did anything unusual or unexpected. It's just that you know when they said symptoms might be worse? Ayep. Also the physical therapist revised the estimate of worse-ness from "a couple weeks" to "a month." Freakin' yay.

I'm supposed to do some of the exercises three times a day. Not all of the ones I did in clinic, because I'm not ready for them without trained spotters yet. I am exhausted, dizzy, and overclocked. And the stuff I did was so small.

This is not the hopeless kind of frustration/suckage, so nobody needs to reassure me that sometimes it has to be this way to get better. I know that.

It's also not the "I have the worst life ever" kind of suckage, so I don't need to be reminded on that front, either.

It just...sucked. With more suckage to come! Three times a day in mild form and twice a week in more extreme form! Oh yay!

Sigh.

Comments

[p-j-cleary.livejournal.com]

Here's a "bright" side:

You can yell and scream at physical therapists during therapy sessions. They're used to it, and it not only helps with the therapy, it also gets out a TON of frustrations that otherwise polite people don't like to get out in their everyday lives.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

It's not that I have the urge to yell and scream at people and suppress it in daily life. I just don't have that urge.

[brooksmoses]

I remember being really angry once, when I was a teenager, and pondering that I had a supply of half-broken concrete blocks and a sledgehammer.

And then realizing that, if I used that as a vent for the anger, when all was said and done I'd be just as angry about the actual problem and would have a supply of tiny bits of smashed concrete blocks to clean up.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Reasons why Mrissas Don't Pitch Fits #772.

Actually probably more like #1 or #2. In my own head I am The People What Clean Up.

[redbird]

This was the great thing about taking ceramics classes in high school--when we got our frustrations out by punching the clay, it was actually productive, so that in weeks that I wasn't productive, I was still punching clay to get the bubbles out of it.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Bread can be like this, too.

[dd-b.livejournal.com]

Do you want to get the bubbles out of it?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, yes. That's what the "punching down" step is for.

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

I kicked a hole in the wall once. It was immensely unsatisfactory.

[orbitalmechanic.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry it sucks! I've heard people say the same things about PT. The place where my doctor's office sends me for blood draws also has a PT section, and everyone there looks somewhere between cheerfully grim and...well, grim, actually.

I bet even Vikings hate PT.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

It's a good grim, I think. I'm almost sure. But my reading background may have overfamiliarized me with the concept of good grim.

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

Not to mention your heritage. <g>

Sorry to hear that it sucked. :( Telling yourself "a month of suck beats years of uncertain roller-coastering" only helps so much. But we all look forward to the steady Mris that will result.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

That we hope will result, at least. A month of suck beats years of uncertain roller-coastering, sure. And a month of suck followed by years of uncertain roller-coastering definitely beats the said roller-coastering while wondering if we'd have been able to fix it if only we'd tried harder.

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

No, no. We're playing the optimism game here, where we don't immediately ponder the possibility that the month of suck will not improve things.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Ah. For me, optimism means considering those options and going on deciding that the other possibilities still make the whole thing hopeful/worthwhile. If I am absolutely convinced that, say, a month will finish this thing right off? and it doesn't? bad, bad things. Whereas if I am convinced that a month will be well-invested time, that's good.

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

I agree with that much. But for me at least, thinking about the possibility that this won't work immediately after the first day really sucked tends to lead to bad headspace.

Other people's mileage does of course vary.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

That's the bloody-minded part, right?

By the way, is this the rapid-eye-moving and head-shaking sort of exercise, or have they come up with something more fiendish?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Some of that and some other balance and walking exercises to start with. Additional fiendishness promised later.

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

In retrospect, I should not have tried to write a comment right after waking up from a nap, as I think the tone of it was obnoxious in ways I did not intend. My apologies.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

We have known each other long enough and actually interacted enough that I just assume non-obnoxiousness unless it's completely impossible not to. It wasn't.

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

It kept bugging me until I came back and apologized. But now all is well.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Good.

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Ah. For me, optimism means considering those options and going on deciding that the other possibilities still make the whole thing hopeful/worthwhile.

Exactly! (My impulse was to say, "But she is being optimistic!")

Our similar peoples. Heh.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

One can work with a translator, but sometimes it's good not to have to.

[reveritas.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry it sucked. man. no fun.

[dd-b.livejournal.com]

Well, now you know. At least, you have a datapoint about knowing.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Yes. And this is daunting but still in some ways good.

[marykaykare.livejournal.com]

Oh man, suckage really sucks.

MKK--physical therapy veteran herself -- twice and more to come!

[greykev.livejournal.com]

better than the alternatives one hopes. If such alternatives exist? opening/draining/refilling/poking-until-they-work the semicircular canals?

If you need a PT driver and your boys aren't available (and you'll trust yourself to my car) I can certainly give you lifts as needed.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

When my mom arrived to get me today, I sang a little bit of the Mighty Mouse theme song with "Mom" replacing "Mouse." But she does have a life, and I will not hesitate to ask.

And no, the disgusting invasive alternatives you postulate don't seem to have been even a little bit successful as treatment. So on the up side we don't have to consider them, but on the down side, there aren't really alternatives other than "suck it up and deal with falling," so far as I know. PT in various forms is about it, from what I can tell from here.

[greykev.livejournal.com]

Sorry for you Hon, hope the PT helps.

[songwind.livejournal.com]

Boo! for sucking.

Yay! for eventual not-sucking.

As always, ears for venting, shoulders for leaning, wheels for driving are yours for the asking.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Much appreciated, and as I said to Kev, I won't hesitate to ask if it seems like the thing.

[ellameena.livejournal.com]

So what kind of stuff did they have you do?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

It wasn't even the horrible tilty purple box today; I am not up to the horrible tilty purple box yet. Today it was standing and walking balance exercises. Pathetic stuff, really. "Focus on the large letter E across the room while turning your head side to side as quickly as you can without losing focus or falling over. Now do it while moving your head up and down as quickly as you can without losing focus and falling over." There was more to it than that, but uff da. It's frustrating when the physical therapist checks all the easiest boxes on the instruction sheet and then crosses out one and modifies it in pen to make it easier.

[ellameena.livejournal.com]

Oh, interesting. I sympathize with the pathetic-ness, but I can also understand how difficult those simple things could be if you are already dizzy or unsteady. They are probably exactly the kinds of things you've been trying to avoid, too.

My mother in law went through this type of physical therapy after a devastating ear infection that took away the hearing in one ear. She got all better and regained her balance! And she was in her sixties, so I have high hopes for you.

Make sure you include at least five minutes of whining each time you do the exercises. It's highly therapeutic. :-)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Yah, there's a weird balance to strike: they don't want me to do stuff to the point of being unsafe and falling over -- which is why I've been avoiding most of this stuff -- but doing it to the point where it makes me dizzy but not dizzy enough to fall over is good. Very fine line. Not sure where it goes. Guess we'll find out.

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Life on the edge, eh?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Thrill a minute around here.

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

That does indeed suck. It doesn't matter if it will get better or if someone else has it worse- it still sucks for the Mris in the moment.

[mkille.livejournal.com]

I'm immensely sorry for the suckitude.

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

OH, I am so sorry, beautiful. And angry.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Why are you angry?

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

Because you shouldn't have to do something that makes you feel worse before you get better.

I am angry at the nonspecific universe, sillily.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well, okay then. Yah. Grrrrr, harumph, universe.