An idea whose time has come.

[mrissa]

I have mostly steered clear of controversial political issues in this lj, but a friend's post has made me aware that there is an issue on which I can no longer in good conscience keep silence.

To wit: playoff beards. I am for 'em. Let there be no confusion: distinctly in favor. Brent Burns looks like a demented hillbilly in his, to be sure, but Burnsie looks like a demented hillbilly under most circumstances, so that harm is outweighed by the great joy that is everybody else's playoff beard.

In fact, while I'm enjoying the NHL playoffs a great deal more than I am enjoying or expect to enjoy the PotUSA playoffs (though with equal doubts, I suspect, about the officiating), I would like to suggest that people could grow playoff beards for that as well. Don't shave until your team wins the...well, it's not as cool as the Stanley Cup, but if you don't bother to learn to play hockey, you can't really expect it. But the US Presidency, at least, which has a few consolations despite its distinct lack of Stanley Cup. And if you don't have a team in this particular set of playoffs, you could still grow a playoff beard in support of those who do, and sort of to add to the pleasant parts of the spectacle of the thing. At least for me personally, and isn't that what's important here?

People whose beards look as though someone snuck in while they were sleeping and drew on their face with a cheap Bic pen and then ran away when it looked like they were waking up are exempt from this exhortation, I suppose. I suppose.

Also, nobody is strictly required to buy a Life of Brian style beard for my amusement. No. Definitely not a requirement.

Comments

[sethb.livejournal.com]

So I shouldn't shave until someone acceptable becomes President? I suppose I could claim to have been doing that since I turned 18.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

In every group there are some who are ahead of the curve.

[jhetley.livejournal.com]

Beards show wisdom. Beards show character and distinction and general better-than-the-common-herd personality...

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

I like the "beards show wisdom" thing. It shows I'm wise enough to know that with my poor eyesight, waving a sharp object around my neck, not the best idea ever.

[jhetley.livejournal.com]

That sharp object bit is the main reason I don't shave. Don't see any reason to make a daily blood sacrifice on the altar of fashion.

[brooksmoses]

They have machines for that now....

[jhetley.livejournal.com]

Which flay rather than cut...

Job opening at Larry Craig's office.

[jymdyer.livejournal.com]

=v= My favorite kind of "beard" is a woman in a nice dress to be seen in public with so that people don't think I'm gay. BTW, that's a truly awesome avatar, and I mean that in the butchest, most strenuously heterosexual way possible.

If I could find you a Life of Brian beard, I surely would. Whom to you plan on stoning? Me, perhaps, for that last paragraph?

Re: Job opening at Larry Craig's office.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

On the one hand, it's tempting, but on the other hand, you didn't say "Jehovah"....

Re: Job opening at Larry Craig's office.

[jymdyer.livejournal.com]

=v= Well, I was going to say something about that being an avatar worthy of Jehovah, but after the recent musings about compliments ...

[columbina.livejournal.com]

Alas, you are not married to my spouse, who is a wonderful person with many lovely characteristics, but regards a beard as a personal assault. Actually, I don't care for them either, but on any giving morning it is a tossup whether I care less for the facial hair, or the effort of removing it. For about two weeks now, apathy has won.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Actually, as much as I enjoyed dinner with your spouse when I had it, "Alas" is not the word I would choose for not being married to her.

[columbina.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I hadn't even realized there was another way to parse that sentence!

[lollardfish.livejournal.com]

Playoff beards - PRO!

[leahbobet.livejournal.com]

I am for the playoff beard in theory, but must note that excessive scritchy facial hair makes showing affection to the bearer of said beard a risky endeavour.

[aedifica]

I find that the scritch wears off as the beard lengthens.

[leahbobet.livejournal.com]

I must clearly capture a laconic boy and test this for Science.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

All! For! Science!

[leahbobet.livejournal.com]

*gets on the lab coat, baby*

[careswen.livejournal.com]

With nothing else underneath, I think. FOR SCIENCE!

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

More for me!

[reveritas.livejournal.com]

you just have a beard thing. i know you. i am surprised you didn't get an Airedale or Scottie. ;)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

No, no: Ista is on my side.

[bradipo.livejournal.com]

I've been having great fun these past few months, growing a large, patriarchal beard. Now that spring has arrived, it is in daily danger of getting trimmed, but so far I have spared it each day.

My brother has suggested that I change my tagline to "ornery mountain man."

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

What about "amiable mountain man"?

[bradipo.livejournal.com]

I think "amiable" is more my nature. My brother might disagree, but he's hardly ever on LJ.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

Was Anne's House of Dreams among your recent comfort rereads, by any chance?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

No....

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

It has the character Marshall Elliott, who hasn't shaved or cut his hair since a bitter election years before. When his party finally wins (can't remember if it was the Grits or Tories) he finally shaves, and Miss Cornelia promptly marries him, having flat refused previously to marry a "perambulating haystack like that".

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Yes, it was one of my least favorite things about Miss Cornelia.

[reveritas.livejournal.com]

that was totally ridiculous! and i liked her, too.

[sam-t.livejournal.com]

This Confused Foreigner wants to know what a playoff beard is, as opposed to the ordinary sort of facial hair.

I presume it isn't some sort of competition where the beards fight it out to be Top Beard, althought that might be fun, too. ("My moustache won 'Best of Breed' last year...")

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

A playoff beard is the result of players on a sports team (or supporters of that sports team), who usually shave their faces naked, not shaving until their team is out of the playoffs. It's a great deal more sanitary than, say, not changing your socks until your team is out but is an external sign of devotion, or else of being too busy to mess with shaving.

[sam-t.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see. Sort of like shaving your head for charity, only the other way round, or something. Thanks for explaining!

This reminds me of the time I was going out with someone whose football team always seemed to meet mine in the league promotion playoffs. There wasn't any special rivalry between the teams most of the time, but we always ended up pretty evenly matched at the end of the season. Watching the matches with him could get a little tense, but thankfully it wasn't expressed in facial hair.

[scottjames.livejournal.com]

People whose beards look as though someone snuck in while they were sleeping and drew on their face with a cheap Bic pen and then ran away when it looked like they were waking up are exempt from this exhortation, I suppose.

Whew. I was worried for a minute.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

mrissas are like elephants.

I meant with the forgetting thing, but also: extremely difficult to cross with rhinos and somewhat cranky about it if you try.

[scottjames.livejournal.com]

I love that with you, jokes never die. They just go back to the end of the line.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

"I'm eating cookies in your bed, Bert!"

I think we know where I got this tendency....

[matastas.livejournal.com]

On some people, they look great. On others (like me), you get an appearance approaching 'drunken hobo.'

Plus, I would never get sex again. Ever.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

This lives so far into the Land of Not My Problem that I can barely see it from over here on the border.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Off-topic, but have you seen Ben Payne's latest post in lastshortstory?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I had not, but thanks for bringing it to my attention!

[redbird]

I was going to offer not to shave until the Islanders win another Stanley Cup, but I have an appointment with my tattoo artist to discuss touch-up work. Shall we make it my face, and should I be rooting for the Habs instead?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I've been rooting for the Habs, and have no love of the Islanders, but you must, of course, do as your conscience dictates.