Things I did not get you or anyone else for Christmas

[mrissa]

Or for a wedding gift, Hanukkah, Solstice, or any other event, either. A partial list:

A print of breakdancing cartoon tapirs
A vintage copy of Rose in Bloom rebound with lots and lots of plastic
A giant yellow glass head (about half again as large as timprov's actual head, for reference)
A candleholder that looked like the illegitimate offspring of a horse and a dachshund
A giant handmade ceramic sculpture of a bulb of garlic (this one only the size of my head)
Something I could not figure out but which was labeled "recycled geckos." I suspect my family and friends are not so sure they/you want the geckos the first time around. Recycled is right out.
A cactus made out of Coke cans
A shirt or sweater with the bust covered with ruffles
A candleholder in the shape of a man slapping his own ass while balancing a candle on his head
A candleholder where you have to put a candle inside Jesus' glass head
A candleholder of the Buddha where his candle and its flame would be...even less fortunately placed
An angel with turkey wings
A garden sculpture of a one-eyed chimp
A leather magazine rack called "Inca Mailman"
Anything that can be described as a "laundry tool"
Pangolin earrings. Although I did think about it, because they're kind of awesome.
"Build-your-own vehicular fishmonster kit." But only because I already have Rob's present, because seriously, who doesn't want to build their own vehicular fishmonster? I know, I know, we'd all prefer to do it from scratch, but these days everyone is busy, and a fishmonster from a kit is probably better than no fishmonster at all.

ETA: I am seriously rethinking this stance as regards the vehicular fishmonster. I keep going back to it.