I'm not proud. Or tired. Well, kind of tired.

[mrissa]

A couple days ago a friend asked a question that seemed like it might have more broad application than just the social situation he was mentioning, so I thought I would put it and my answer here: what he wanted to know was whether I am okay accepting help from people outside my immediate family in order to be able to do stuff while the stupid vertigo is still around.

And the answer is yes, absolutely. I am not at all proud about accepting help. It may not be that the help you offer is workable for one reason or another, but I will not be at all upset that you offered, and I will not turn whatever offer down out of the sheer desire to avoid accepting help.

What I am not good at is soliciting help from scratch. "You know what would be fun? If you came and got me and then [actual fun thing here]," or, "If you rode the bus down and came over and then [actual fun thing here]," is very hard for me. It sounds to me like, "You know what would be fun? If you baked me a pan of brownies. Wouldn't that be awesome? You could go to the store, and buy the ingredients, and do all the work, and then I would have brownies. Doesn't that sound like fun?" Yes, I know I've baked people brownies before and will likely do it again. And in fact I do like baking brownies. But, "How about I make you a pan of brownies?" is very different from, "How about you make me a pan of brownies?"

Comments

[careswen.livejournal.com]

#1: You're allowed. People who have driven across town to take me to Urgent Care get to ask me to drive across town to take them to coffee. Which would be way more fun and less expensive.

#2: I like these ideas. I can be patient if that helps for working with Mark's schedule.

In any case in which it pleases thee, how's about you send me some dates, and we will play Dueling Datebooks?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

#1: yes, but you needed to go to the Urgent Care. I don't need to go to coffee.

...on any particular day. But I do need to sometimes get one-on-one hangout time with friends. Hmm. Will try to mentally phrase it that way even though it's clearly not the same kind of need.

Dueling Datebooks it is!