Endings

[mrissa]

For years, we have used "and then I found five bucks" as the default ending to an anecdote. You know those moments when you're in the middle of a story and realize that nobody cares, not even you? You just say, "and then I found five bucks," and the conversation can move on. (And if someone really does care, they can stop you and say, "No, but really, what did your grandmother say to the nun?") It's a good ending: not too unbelievable -- not $20, say or $2000 -- but positive, upbeat, and above all, resolved. "What is the point of all this?" you might ask, and there's the point, right there: you found $5. Yay you.

Tonight, since markgritter has finished his read of Thermionic Night, I have decided to share with you my secret to writing novel endings. Here it is: "And all of them who were still alive ran away to Canada."

There you go. Use it in good health. It's uplifting, I find. Of course, I won't get to this uplifting ending until I've revised TN and Sampo and drafted the rest of Midnight Sun Rising, but never mind that now.

Comments

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

Perhaps your suggested ending is not uplifting to Canadians, however.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

In my admittedly ksumnersmith-skewed experience, they seem to like it when we like them.

I suppose it does hinge on the baddies being part of the ones who are not still alive, in terms of being positive for the Canadians.

[greatestofnates.livejournal.com]

I'm confused. Is it $5 Canadian or US?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

It varies: how happy an ending do you want?

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

Hot poutine! so that's what happened to the violinist in the subway.

[retrobabble.livejournal.com]

Hey, you ended up with Celine Dion. It's only fair.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

We ended up with you, honey girl.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

::appends $5 to Orpheus story::

A masterpiece!

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Now aren't you glad I was here?

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

I'm always glad you're here.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Oh, hugses!

[chance88088.livejournal.com]

You stole that ending from Margaret Atwood. :P

(ps - I think there is something wrong with your novel gazing feed)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I have poked markgritter to investigate.

[wilfulcait.livejournal.com]

I took "and then I found $5" from you; we now use it for stories where the ending will be completely inappropriate to the audience (which IIRC was one of your suggested purposes.) It's taking on a life of its own here on the East Coast.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, when you carelessly start a story with your grandma and you realize that while the middle bit is entertaining, the end is, "And then the police officer opened the door, and, well, there they were!" or whatever, you can just derail things right there with $5.

The tone has to be different, though. More earnest.

[wilfulcait.livejournal.com]

Well, we mainly use it with my kid, where "and then I found $5" transparently means "and I've just realized this story is wildly inappropriate." That doesn't require much in the way of sincerity, since she knows exactly what we're doing. But yes, if I were lucky enough to have a living grandmother, I can imagine doing just that.

[scottjames.livejournal.com]

In my family, it gets used more as a sibling-friendly euphamism: my sister met a guy at a party, and then they found five bucks (for example). But I'm doing my best to spread it far and wide, as well.

[mkille.livejournal.com]

I have decided to share with you my secret to writing novel endings. Here it is: "And all of them who were still alive ran away to Canada."

What about historical novels that pre-date any placename Canada?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

You don't have to call it Canada. You can just have them getting in their coracles or making for the land bridge. The reader will infer.

[mkille.livejournal.com]

"We shall now head for parts unknown, and if we end up in a coldish place where someday people will play a game with sticks on ice, we will indeed be blessed." Works for me.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

"There'll always be an England. At least, geographically."

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

have decided to share with you my secret to writing novel endings. Here it is: "And all of them who were still alive ran away to Canada."

Yep, can't think of a more uplifting ending than that myself. [ See also "Of course it's a happy ending. Not everybody's dead." ]

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I wasn't thinking of you at the time (since I didn't know you when I initially wrote the ending of MSR, or even know of your existence), but I'm not surprised you approve.

Oh. You didn't actually say you approved, did you? Just that it was uplifting. Ah well.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

Well, whether I approve in any individual case would depend, selfishly enough, on whether the characters running away to Canada are people I want to have as neighbours.