Endings

[mrissa]

For years, we have used "and then I found five bucks" as the default ending to an anecdote. You know those moments when you're in the middle of a story and realize that nobody cares, not even you? You just say, "and then I found five bucks," and the conversation can move on. (And if someone really does care, they can stop you and say, "No, but really, what did your grandmother say to the nun?") It's a good ending: not too unbelievable -- not $20, say or $2000 -- but positive, upbeat, and above all, resolved. "What is the point of all this?" you might ask, and there's the point, right there: you found $5. Yay you.

Tonight, since markgritter has finished his read of Thermionic Night, I have decided to share with you my secret to writing novel endings. Here it is: "And all of them who were still alive ran away to Canada."

There you go. Use it in good health. It's uplifting, I find. Of course, I won't get to this uplifting ending until I've revised TN and Sampo and drafted the rest of Midnight Sun Rising, but never mind that now.

Comments

[wilfulcait.livejournal.com]

I took "and then I found $5" from you; we now use it for stories where the ending will be completely inappropriate to the audience (which IIRC was one of your suggested purposes.) It's taking on a life of its own here on the East Coast.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, when you carelessly start a story with your grandma and you realize that while the middle bit is entertaining, the end is, "And then the police officer opened the door, and, well, there they were!" or whatever, you can just derail things right there with $5.

The tone has to be different, though. More earnest.

[wilfulcait.livejournal.com]

Well, we mainly use it with my kid, where "and then I found $5" transparently means "and I've just realized this story is wildly inappropriate." That doesn't require much in the way of sincerity, since she knows exactly what we're doing. But yes, if I were lucky enough to have a living grandmother, I can imagine doing just that.

[scottjames.livejournal.com]

In my family, it gets used more as a sibling-friendly euphamism: my sister met a guy at a party, and then they found five bucks (for example). But I'm doing my best to spread it far and wide, as well.