Brain teaser

[mrissa]

Can you spot the differences in these three sentences?

1. I like kids.
2. I want to have kids.
3. I want to have kids soon.

It's tricky, I know. Take your time.

Comments

[wilfulcait.livejournal.com]

This set of sentences is even more amusing in the second person:

(1) You like kids.
(2) You must want to have kids.
(3) You should have kids soon.

Now, back in first person:

I should nag urge you to have kids very, very soon. Over and over again I should nag gently, let repetitively, encourage you.

[merriehaskell.livejournal.com]

Sing the subtext, sister.

(sigh)

[blzblack.livejournal.com]

They all mean the same thing. You must have kids, NOW.

[dendrophilous.livejournal.com]

Snerk.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

It's the numbers. The numbers are all different.

B

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

You must have heard this one before.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Naaa. I'm just a mathematician. I notice these sorts of things.

B

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

Hah.

I've been thinking of adopting your line -- "I am the world's foremost expert on what I think" -- the next time someone tells me (1) I'll change my mind someday or (2) I shouldn't wait too long to change my mind.

(I could just show them the scar in my navel, of course, but that just strikes me as uncouth.)

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

I always wonder about people who say "I like kids". I mean, I never hear anyone going around saying "I like Baby Boomers" or "I like 32-year-olds" or whatever. Most babies are cute. Most toddlers are fun to play with, for a while at least. I have met quite a few people not yet in their teens with whom I enjoyed spending time. That's about as far as I'm prepared to go.

It reminds me of some training on teaching adults, in which they solemnly told us "Adults tend to be afraid of failing. They need breaks occasionally. They do better in interactive classes than when a teacher drones on at them. They don't like being embarassed or made fun of." I kept thinking, as opposed to whom?

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I take "I like kids" to mean "I don't automatically dislike kids." I like kids in the same way as I like adults: I'm willing not to automatically assume I will dislike them if they don't give me some reason to do so. Except that excreting on me and not talking to me is more of a reason not to like a grown-up, I guess.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

But Marissa! Don't you know that if you don't also breed, you're directly insulting those people who chose to? They know that they've plunged themselves into the hell that is childrearing, and only validation from other people making the same disastrous choice will soothe their pain!

(No, I don't want kids.)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I do want kids. I don't think that childrearing will be hell, and I don't think my friends and family who say it isn't are fooling themselves. I think it would be hell for some people, and I encourage people not to have kids if they feel that way. But most of the people who bug me to have kids do not themselves have kids.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Well, I remember being a child, and I think I gave my parents a bit of a rough time. :-)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I'd like to think that "challenging" and "hellish" are not synonymous.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Well, I was engaging in a bit of hyperbole, yes. I'm someone who does not like children, by and large, because I remember what they were like when I was a kid. :-)

[merriehaskell.livejournal.com]

But most of the people who bug me to have kids do not themselves have kids.

Now, that is interesting. And reflective of my experiences as well. I wonder why that is?

Maybe they're trying to talk themselves into something.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Maybe. Or, in the case of those who don't want kids, maybe they have a hard time imagining themselves in category #2 in the first place, so the distinction between it and #3 blurs.

[keightyb.livejournal.com]

Hey, I have 2 bugging the crap out of me and one still in the oven. I have to eat every 45 minutes or I feel like I'm going to vomit my entire insides. If I eat too much, my body revolts. But I love every minute of it! My first two are 11 months apart; am I crazy or just plain stupid? Yes.

I think you should have kids! Not because I'll ever see them or because I personally will benefit, but because you will never love like you love your child. Even when they're raising hell and being nasty (which admittedly seems like a frequency sometimes) I'll look at them and think, "wow". Not "wow" because I can't believe how much shit I take on a daily basis, but just this overwhelming "wow", and I'm in awe of how perfect they really are. Even though they really aren't, they really are.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I know I should have kids, Kate. I intend to have kids, if nothing unexpectedly biological intervenes (and possibly via adoption if something does intervene). I just wish that people would let me choose the timing instead of trying to choose it for me. I can have kids without having to have them tomorrow.

I also do think that there's a distinction between enjoying time with other people's children and wanting to have your own. Not everyone who is biologically capable of having children is emotionally capable of the overwhelming love you have for yours. Not everyone who is emotionally capable is interested in doing it. It's like being married: not everyone wants it, and the people who don't want it shouldn't have to have it. So when people see me having a blast with a friend's kid, I want to point out that I know several wonderful people who make great aunties and uncles and don't want to be moms and dads in the slightest. The fact that I do want kids is not one they can discern just by watching me blow bubbles and play "this is the way the lady rides." It doesn't necessarily follow.

[keightyb.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I wonder if you don't allow others to inject a bit too much drama into your life. :) Just say "I have all the time in the world to have kids, thanks to science, so piss off." That's it, no dramatizations, no wondering what their problem is, and after that, I think they'll leave you alone.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Usually I just skip right to the "piss off" equivalent. Some people do not learn. At all. After five or six times of being told in brief, clear terms.

[madshutterbug.livejournal.com]

*splorf*

To mis-quote W.C. Fields, "I love kids. Medium rare, with horseradish."

In fact, I raise kids for that very reason.

But I do not have children. Nor do I dislike children, and I guess I'm really heading out to left field on this particular idea.

[(Anonymous)]

I won't rush you, but I can't vouch for Siri. She thinks all my friends should have kids so that she can have someone to play with when we go to visit them. But I'm guessing that that isn't the sort of bothering that gets to you. :)

Besides, you need to get a puppy first.

Heathah

[cpolk.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

1. I like kids.
(but I couldn't eat a whole one.)
2. I want to have kids.
(so I can warp them in my own image and give them absurd names.)
3. I want to have kids soon.
(my list of absurd names is getting too long.)