Snrk

[mrissa]

"'A black mass! Again!' cried the marquise. 'I fear the devil, madame! I am sick of lying naked on a pallet while you consecrate the host with the blood of a newborn child!'" -- Annie Pietri, The Orange Trees of Versailles

Oh, gosh, I know, it just gets so tiresome...I mean, naked on the pallet again, yawwwwwwwn...flying through the air cursing the English king's sheep again? Can't we think of some different evil to do? This is boring....

This is one of the YA advance galleys porphyrin gave me, and it was nice of her, but this is not, shall we say, the best of the bunch she gave me. (They were given to her, not handpicked by her, so her taste is not indicted here.) Gratuitous Satanism in the villains introduced more than 2/3 of the way through: let's have a no on that one, shall we? Modern sentiments placed smirkily in historical characters' mouths: no. People betraying their evil plots by talking in their sleep: no. As-you-know-Bob dialog about the Satanism: no! "As you know, Bob, we've been defiling the cathedral altar with our evil Satanic rites for three months." "That's true, Mme. de Montespan, and we also kick puppies and bewitch the king." Yarrrrg.

This book was translated from the French. That means at least two editors had to say, "What a good idea! Let us publish this book!" At least two publishers had to agree. The mind, it boggles.

Comments

[dsgood.livejournal.com]

Please tell me this is a joke!!

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

If by "joke" you mean "something that makes me laugh," then yes, it's a joke. But if by "joke" you mean "not actually published novel," welll...look it up on Amazon.

The as-you-know-Bob was my paraphrase, but only barely. That is, there are no Frenchmen named Bob in this book.

*smirk*

[dlandon.livejournal.com]

Sounds horrifically awful enough to be funny :) This *wasn't* one of the self-published ones?

You know, you're not much of a rabid wannabe neopro, Mrissa, you actually let me out of the house without assaulting me with a copy of your novel! And after I'd volunteered to look at it! *g* Either send it along via email or, because I don't have paper yet, you can wait until I have my furniture-less-fun-sitting-on-floor houseparty :)

- D

Re: *smirk*

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Publisher: Delacorte Press. Who, I might add, rejected my first novel.

I do attempt to keep my rabies under control with shots, and the foam hardly gets on anything these days. Is .doc format all right for the book? If you want me to wait (or lend you the printed copy that lives here), I can do that, too.

Re: *smirk*

[dlandon.livejournal.com]

Rabies shots: that explains it, then. Do you let them lapse for con's like the rest of the neopro community, or do you stand firm against the temptation? *g*

Why not lend me the printed copy that lives at your place? I think it'd be easiest. Either that or email me the first three chapters and I'll print them out to get started. Which might be good since I'm not working again until Saturday -

D

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

"I know you, codfish." Yes.

This is the reason why recording coffeehouse conversation to get a feel for dialog never seemed like a good idea to me when I was taking writing classes: random strangers' conversations were never as interesting as my friends', but if I recorded my friends' conversations for the assignment, I got told that "people don't talk like that!"

[stillsostrange.livejournal.com]

Writers aren't people--that's probably half the problem.

Leah and I met several individuals at WC who were clearly from White Bear Lake.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Bitch, I'm from White Bear Lake. And I hope you're happy with yourself.

Heehee. And now if anyone from the Cities is reading this, they're thinking, "Huh?" Tell ya later, folks. In the meantime: I am not, in fact, from WBL.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Er. Also, the "Bitch" is not, in fact, referring to sosostris2012. Just in case there was any confusion.

[apis-mellifera.livejournal.com]

Oy. You should see some of the dreck that's currently on my living room floor waiting for me to read it. I have six books to review this month and I'm afraid that only one of them is going to be even halfway decent.

One of the ones that looks extra bad is about a unicorn. Who has had its horn cut off. And who apparently is totally okay with hanging around non-virgins and masquerading as a war steed. It has a pretty iridescent cover, though.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

You do not want to ask me to think up interesting evil for you.

Seriously.

My brain is fucked up enough that I could sure as hell DO it.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

No more than I want you to curse the English king's sheep. Even if there was an English king.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

Well, I could curse some sheep for you, if they were especially baaaaaaaaaaaad sheep.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

"'A black mass! Again!' cried the marquise. 'I fear the devil, madame! I am sick of lying naked on a pallet while you consecrate the host with the blood of a newborn child!'"

It burnsss uusss! Makesss it ssstop!

Wow, drek like that always makes me feel much better about my self as a writer.

Ah drek, I love you 'cause you make feel much better than I am.

Luckily it seems that mrissa has survived with her mind intact despite being exposed to...that...whatever it was.

Peace and Cookies
Michael

[scottjames.livejournal.com]

You know, I was saying just yesterday that I was sick of lying around naked on a pallet while someone else consecrated the host with the blood of a newborn child. How am I supposed to get anything done that way?

Seriously.

Next time, you like naked on the pallet, and I'll consecrate the host with the blood of a newborn child. Then we'll see how much you get done.