Literary Horoscopy

[mrissa]

So I have this theory. (Anybody ever wonder why I have a tag for "full of theories"? Nobody? Good.)

Quizzes are popular on The Internets, right? Which Food Mixing Device Are You, What Is Your Thread Count, all those things. I never take them, but people seem to like finding out which fantasy author they are. (I know which fantasy author I am. I checked.)

What I think, though, is that with long series of books it should work in reverse. Rather than "Which Vorkosigan Novel Are You?", where you tell it you like hard sharp cheeses and things that are pale lavender and it tells you you're Diplomatic Immunity, you say you like Diplomatic Immunity best and it tells you that you should watch for falling objects and job opportunities this week, or take a chance on love, or do not forget to turn off the oven when you leave the house. Sure, people who were born roughly the same time of year have some things in common, but people who like Pigeon Post best probably have several more things in common. (Among other things, they're nothing like those Coot Club losers, honestly.) And you can imagine the conversations: "My kids just don't get along. Well, my son is a Nine Tailors and my daughter is an Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club." "Oh, yes, I have a cousin who's a Nine, and once they get a notion in their head, hoo boy!" And then you'd read down the column in the morning and go, "Honey, you're a Yendi, right? You're supposed to take some time to yourself this week. And drink plenty of water."

(This is why they don't let me write horoscopes or advice columns. Like every third thing would be, "Make sure you're getting good protein. If you're not allergic, toasted hazelnuts are nice." Which does not appear to be the sort of thing people want.)

Also this would be great for still-living, still-writing authors: "I thought I was a Taltos, but now I know I'm an Issola! It's so much more accurate now!"

What I can't figure out is how many books a series really needs for this to work. The Narnia books, for example, do not seem quite numerous enough to me, although maybe it's that I'm incapable of conceiving that anybody might like The Last Battle best and so I'm only counting six.

The other problem with this theory is that it's giving me the urge to go reread all the Aubrey & Maturin novels to figure out what my O'Brian sign is.

And the other other problem is that some authors seem clear to me that they do not require a series for this to work--Diana Wynne Jones, for example--and others really do seem like it'd be best with a series. Possibly this is just because I want to exclude The Documents in the Case and am not sure anything is clearer if you have both Perelandra and Prince Caspian as options.

If you like, you can tell me which one in a series is your favorite, and I will give you your literary horoscope for the week. It might involve hazelnuts, though. I can't promise anything on that front.

Comments

[jhetley.livejournal.com]

Well, I think MURDER MUST ADVERTISE is the best of the lot . . .

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

The dog days of summer can feel particularly long to you, Murder Must. This week try to take some time to remember who you are when you aren't on the job.

[jenett]

Ooooh! I think you should explore this idea.

Of course, there's the question of picking the series, but here's some options, and pick whatever amuses you. (Which you were going to do anyway, I'm sure...)

Memory (Bujold, as the Chalion books seem to need a few more options first. Maybe. Anyway, there, I prefer Curse of Chalion)

Busman's Honeymoon for Sayers, though Murder Must Advertise is a close second.

The Silver Chair for Narnia.

(Erm. That's probably enough to give you scope. Or I'll be here all evening, and I really should go make bread and clean the house.)

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Yay for Busman's Honeymoon! My life is woefully full of people who disavow it; I adore it...

[timprov.livejournal.com]

Honey, you're a Yendi, right? You're supposed to take some time to yourself this week. And drink plenty of water.

Not that this was aimed at anybody, or anything.

[panjianlien.livejournal.com]

I love this so very much.

[aamcnamara.livejournal.com]

Apparently this post is mainly serving to remind me that I haven't been reading very many series lately.

Anyway, my favorite Chrestomanci is Conrad's Fate but my favorite Diana Wynne Jones is Deep Secret. (And I am allergic to hazelnuts, I think.)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Deep Secret, there is just too much for you to handle right now! Try to pare it down to one or two things you can really focus on.

[skzbrust.livejournal.com]

You might well be an Issola, but I rather suspect you're a Lyorn.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Hmm, but one could easily have Yendi for a favorite book without identifying as a Yendi oneself at all.

I will have to see about Lyorn when I get the chance, won't I? No pressure. (Really no pressure: all pressure should be directed towards Tiassa.)

[pameladean]

But -- but -- but -- total orderings! Aieeeee!

I could tell you the story arc for the O'Brians. Or I could list three for some other series.

P.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

The story arc wouldn't help, I'm afraid: that's not why I like books best, and I've only read that series the once.

Some people are cusp people. It happens.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

I am, most definitely, a These Old Shades (how can no one have mentioned Heyer yet?).

And also, as mentioned above, Busman's Honeymoon - how they make it work afterwards being so much more interesting than watching it happen - and I am fascinated to know whether your system will produce similar horoscopes for both these personality types, or if I'm going to end up all Gemini, twins swimming in opposite directions...

Eeeee, yes, Heyer

[saoba.livejournal.com]

I am absolutely The Unknown Ajax. In C J Cherryh's stuff I'm Downbelow Station. In Sayers I'm Gaudy Night.

I find your ideas fascinating and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[athenais.livejournal.com]

Chaz beat me to it. I am also a These Old Shades. And a Phoenix Guards. Also, though I don't often admit it, a Ballet Shoes.

[wldhrsjen3.livejournal.com]

I'm a Ballet Shoes too! :)

[cattitude.livejournal.com]

There's also the question of which series you have read enough of to form an opinion. I couldn't work with an obrianologist because I didn't get past the first volume. A brustomancer or lewispex would suite me well, as I've read pretty much everything they've published, including the nonfiction. Still, to expand the field a bit, if you're willing to play the cabellist, I'll choose Figures of Earth.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Alas for me, or possibly for you, I haven't read Figures of Earth. Should I?

You should stay well-hydrated all the same. Never hurts.

[wldhrsjen3.livejournal.com]

I *love* this idea.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

I did not like that "what fantasy author are you" because one, the narrow range offered, and two, they asked what I would do in a situation, not what my characters would do. BIG difference there.

[aedifica]

Oh, fun! Hmm. I like jenett's idea of giving a favorite from various series or authors, so that you can pick one that works for you:

Gaudy Night

Paladin of Souls over anything else of hers in any series, but probably Komarr if we're restricting it to the Miles series

I'm not sure I could pick a Vlad book, because I always read them all in a clump and so I forget which is which. (OK, I can remember some of them because of the House involvement, but that doesn't help me with all of them.) Though maybe Issola.

Deep Secret, followed closely by Fire and Hemlock

Tam Lin (to bring in an author not mentioned yet, but I know you're familiar with). Speaking of, I think the Secret Country trilogy would work best for this if considered as a single book--what do you think?

I am not allergic to hazelnuts.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I did Gaudy Night and Deep Secret above.

Komarr, it's the small things that will really shine for you this week. If you're very careful with them, you can take home your heart's desire. Be sure to choose its scale wisely.

Elegance and calm have always been your watchwords, Issola, and there's no need for this week to be any different. Never let them see you sweat, and smile, smile, smile--unless, of course, it would be construed as rudely threatening to smile. Then for Verra's sake don't.

That's the problem with pameladean's work in this: I do think the Secret Country trilogy works best as a group, but that means there's not as much to choose from at all, so the difference between a Tam Lin and a Juniper, Gentian, and Rosemary ends up being very coarse-grained.

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

This is a fantabulous concept. My only problem now is to pick just one DWJ book.

<ponders>

Will you pick for me? Because I feel like I ought to say I'm a Fire and Hemlock, since that's the book that turned me into a writer, but I have such a deep and abiding love for Howl's Moving Castle and The Lives of Christopher Chant and The Homeward Bounders. I really don't know which one is my "sign."

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

This is one of your nowhere weeks, Fire and Hemlock: spend some time wandering down new garden paths and ignoring warnings. Be bold! You can come back to being now here next week.

[redbird]

There is a certain temptation to lie, of course. In addition to any weird horoscope-stereotyping stuff, while most people who believe in astrology will at least claim that they don't think any sign is inferior, people are used to being judged for the books, music, etc. that we do or don't like.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

At least reveritas was honest about not hating The Last Battle, bless her, so we can have hope for humanity.

[dd-b.livejournal.com]

I'm a Skylark Duquesne.

And I'm a Busman's Honeymoon, and an A Civil Campaign.

Since Dune is a single book, with no sequels, this meme cannot be applied to it.

So, what's my literary horoscope?

[hypatia-j.livejournal.com]

Since Dune is a single book, with no sequels, this meme cannot be applied to it.

Yes.

[sienamystic.livejournal.com]

I spent most of my life believing I was a Gaudy Night, but I think I'm really more of a Murder Must Advertise. I would love to be The Grand Sophy or Faro's Daughter, but I'm content as The Toll Gate. I'm also Paladin of Souls, The Blue Castle, and Ysabel.

This is heaps of fun.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I haven't read The Toll Gate. Gaudy Night is done above.

You come out of nowhere and surprise us, Ysabel, and you're just the breath of fresh air we were hoping for. All is not lost. Persevere.

The Blue Castle, you have never been deceived by appearances. Time to let others see the fascinating things you're seeing in the dark corners and shady hollows.

Paladin of Souls, you've come through a lot, but it's only made you stronger. Help will come from an unexpected direction.

They do add up to a sort of thing, don't they?

The only series I read are kids' books ... almost

[reveritas.livejournal.com]

Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix
Anne of Green Gables: Windy Poplars
Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
LHOTP: By the Shores of Silver Lake

Donna Leon mysteries: Hell, I don't know ... each one is more amazing than the last.

Tell me why you don't like The Last Battle. That's my either second- or third-favorite one.

Re: The only series I read are kids' books ... almost

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I don't like The Last Battle because it destroys Narnia. And so I don't believe in the new shiny Narnia because I believed in the old shiny Narnia and then some fella came along and made it fall into dust, so why do I believe the same fella when he says, "No, but this one's really okay now"? That is not the kind of heaven I ever, ever want.

I haven't read any Donna Leon mysteries. Should I? What are they like?

You don't need the right kind of pen, Windy Poplars. You need the right kind of attitude. Work on making a love letter with what you've got--whether it's to a person, a place, or a thing.

You know that being the golden child sometimes feels just the same as being made of lead, Dawn Treader, but your scales will come off soon. In the meantime, take a spin around the ship and enjoy the feel of the salt air as you fly. Even life lessons can come with a little, "Wheee!"

[hypatia-j.livejournal.com]

Magician's Nephew, with the sun in The Spellcoats and Mirror Dance rising.

[zwol.livejournal.com]

The Spellcoats! How did I forget about The Spellcoats?!

[zwol.livejournal.com]

This is tricky for me because I feel impelled to pick something different than what other people have.

For Brust, I like Five Hundred Years After and The Sun, the Moon & the Stars best. Bujold, would have to go with Memory. I've got a deep but undifferentiated love for everything Patricia McKillip has ever written. And I prefer Sorcery and Cecelia to Mairelon the Magician.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Please try not to destroy the city this week, Five Hundred Years After.

I did Memory above, and I don't do Patricia McKillip--I sort of bounce off.

Darn your stockings this week, Sorcery and Cecelia, and make sure your gloves are laundered and neatly pressed. Next week will not allow you time for these things, but you will find comfort in having them done. Not everyone's armor looks the same.

[timprov.livejournal.com]

Since you're doing these for people, I'll request one Deep Wizardry and one for A Wind in the Door, please.

ETA: and Second Foundation if you're feeling generous.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

There is only one you, A Wind in the Door, and you are not optional. Stick close to those who love you for who you are. Also get one of those sport strap thingies for your glasses so you can focus on more important things.

You are more than you think you are, Deep Wizardry, and you are more than others around you think you are, too. But you are not expendable even when the song says so. Enjoy some calamari this week.

There's a big headache coming your way this week, Second Foundation. Don't let people convince you that you don't care about your dreams, no matter how many planets must suffer as a result.

[writingortyping.livejournal.com]

Hm.

The Grand Sophy, with a touch of The Devil in Music finished off with a Voyage of the Dawn Treader.

And yes, I love this idea.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I did Dawn Treader above.

Don't forget to bring a monkey this week, The Grand Sophy. You'll need something to distract everyone from your schemes--which will be all for their own good, of course, but until they figure that out, letting someone else provide the antics will be extremely useful.

(I don't feel like the Julian Kestrel series is long enough to be fine-grained, alas.)

[redbird]

I don't think I can do a series, but: The Left Hand of Darkness.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

This week will feel like one dark, cold sledge ride, Left Hand. Stick with it: clarity and resolution are not the same thing.

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

Glinda of Oz or The Patchwork Girl of Oz

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

You may feel petrified, The Patchwork Girl of Oz, but take heart. You're creating your own luck with every step you take.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

Busman's Honeymoon or Gaudy Night, I really can't decide (and you've done both anyway). Skating Shoes, though maybe because I found that most recently. Peter Duck. The Blue Castle. My Brust favorite is Freedom & Necessity but I don't know if that counts. Howl's Moving Castle. A Swiftly Tilting Planet.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

This week will feel a bit unreal, Peter Duck, but the bacon fat is behind you and the buried treasure lies ahead. You won't be becalmed forever. Take on stray passengers: they will prove invaluable.

Appearances may not be accurate this week, Howl's, but they still matter. Pay close attention to which door you take. An unexpected turn will be the right one.

Dogs and poetry do not actually fix everything, Swiftly Tilting, but they're not a bad place to start as long as you go on. Take your anorak. It'll get chilly out there.