importance

[mrissa]

I was going to start out with something random and vague, but honestly I will tell you what it is: I am back on the med with the nasty side effects, and it is making me morose. (Indirectly, I believe. I don't think moroseness is itself a side effect. I just don't enjoy the other stuff.)

And one of the things I'm feeling is some disconnect. I've done the "tell me something good" posts, and those are good in their place. But tonight I'm screening responses, and I'm asking: tell me something that's important to you right now. Easy or difficult, positive or negative: tell me something important.

Comments

[rosefox]

I have spent my whole adult life trying to get better at apologizing. It's still hard. But I made an unprompted, sincere, and justified apology tonight, and I'm glad I did.

(It's fine to unscreen this, btw.)

[talimena.livejournal.com]

Stupid vertigo, indeed. I'm struggling with getting my work done through (relatively mild now, thank goodness) depression. It's important not just because the ph.d. is the essential job requirement for carrying on in the field, but because graduate school has done a lot to get and keep me sane(ish). My stage in the program is also making it seem more important to do well, rather than just survive. And of course, this awareness of the importance of it can leave me wanting to just ignore it all. goto beginning.

I hope it eases for you.

eta: I don't mind if this is unscreened.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I think you are the first person I have heard say that grad school has gotten/kept them sane. How wonderful! I'm so glad.

[diatryma.livejournal.com]

You may unscreen if you wish.

A good thing is that I have a high school subjob today; I've been trapped in a whirlpool of preschool, and while I have nothing against four-year-olds, that does wear a person down. I was joking about heading to the junior high with a bat and breaking people's knees so I'd get a few subjobs there. But that's good, not important.

The important part is that I am still doing this. It's been two years now. Two years, a lot of job applications, worry every few months that this year, the numbers won't add up, joy when the grading job starts up because that's how I get summer money. What began as a proud resolution not to be a kid who went home to her parents, as both my siblings were at the time, not to go home and sit by the computer quietly retreating from the world until I couldn't leave the house any more... instead, I live with two good friends, my cat, another cat, a dog, and a lot of creativity. I went to Clarion West. I went to the State Fair in August and breakfast every Saturday. It's not something I can do forever, but I can keep doing it now, and I am still here.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

"I can't do this forever, but I can do it now," is really important sometimes.